Stephie

Goodbye Junior Year.

2010-06-03T22:29:00.002-04:00

So much has taken place in the last year. Sometimes I cant believe that I havent written more but looking back I see that I really had no time. Between school, homework, theatre, family, friends, and church... I really havent had time.

I cant believe its over... well one exam left but who's counting? Junior Year... the hardest high school year is over. It went by so fast!

Through it all, the struggles and the aches, I found joy. The joy of the Holy Spirit filled within me. It's presences is like being home, a home I have never known before but remember so well.

Gosh, I wish I had the words to say here. This place was once something I needed. I needed to come and spill my heart out and write but now I dont think I need it anymore. I will come and occasionally write here but I dont think it will ever become regularly again.

My unofficial goodbye...

Goodbye Junior Year, goodbye blog. Hello Senior Year,

Stephie

First Blog Post in 10,000 Years!!

2010-03-15T00:13:00.002-04:00

Okay so I know I have been gone... but Junior Year has killed my time! Please notice that from when I started in Freshman Year how much I have decreased in amount of posts. Anywho this year has kept me plenty busy and to be quite honest I should be doing other stuff right now. ha.

This weekend has been great. I have gotten to spend some one-on-one time with a best friend while she has been recuperating from a minor oral surgery... (wisdom teeth)... She has just needed a couple of other hands to help her out with her busy schedule while she gets back fully on her feet. But I have loved every minute! I adore being an assistant! That has to be one of the greatest jobs! There is something so joyous in helping and serving someone else in their needs! I wish I had millions of dollars just so I could spend it lavishly on others. I just love helping people out and I want to lift up a shout of praise to the Lord for laying this gift down upon me because otherwise I am a selfish and prideful person!

Next subject to keep you updated on... Schoolio. Well Junior Year is kicking my butt! Lets just say I have gotten a few grades that I have never seen before. But I am relying on the Lord. I believe that He has a plan for my life and I have a security of mind in that! I am not worrying about my future and I know that He will provide what I need for a future in Him. What is their to worry about with a faithful God like ours? College? I have no idea! Will I worry? Nope. Career? Life? Future? I have not a clue? Will I worry? Nope... It isnt like i have given up on trying at school or anything like that its just that I know that if I come before the Lord in prayer and in growing in His word and seeking Him first I know He will lead my heart in the direction I need to go to fulfill His will on my life. So there. He wins.

Subject number three... I dont really know of another subject. My life is getting steadily more and more about the Trinity and His effects on my life! Anything else you wanna know about me... is probably useless information BUT just contact me!

I love you whoever you are... I promise I do!

Stephie

Jesus Christ Answers and Says:

2010-02-12T22:31:00.003-05:00

Me: "I am sorry, I am so sorry for what I have done to you!"

"I forgive you."

Me: "Why?"

"I love you."

The Forgotten God

2010-02-08T18:29:00.003-05:00

Hi Blog World.

I am sitting in the Wake Forest Coffee Company. I have been here for quite a while and have quite a while to go but I needed a break from graphing x(x+2)>0 and reading about early westward expansion in the United States.

I love WFCC for a couple reasons.

1. I can sit, listen to music, get free internet, do homework without being bothered by family or dogs or anything.

2. All around me are Seminary students and i get to sit here and hear many conversations about the Lord and it just gives me a smile.

Today I am sitting in "my chair"... a big lounge chair in the corner with a side table and a great view of the rest of the shop. I am listening to "Holy" by Jesus Culture and blogging. :)

I can't help but smile right now... not because of where I am or what Im doing but for the sole reason that the Holy Spirit dwells within me. I know He does because their is a new joy within me and their is a new reason to love and smile. I love people and family more than I used to. I can hardly handle the love that fills my heart! It is unlike anything I have ever felt before.

A friend and I were sitting at Brueggers one afternoon just hanging out and we had this conversation about the Holy Spirit and how we commonly disregard Him as a powerful part of the Holy Trinity. We felt the constant tug to come to Him but we resisted so much. My friend gave me this analogy.... Its like we are standing behind the door and pushing with all our might. On the other side of the door is the Holy Spirit. As hard as we push there is still some of the Holy light that pours into the room and with every bit of light our longing for that grows but because of human nature and worldly fears of His power we push harder against the door. ... After that conversation my friend and I started fighting in prayer for each other and ourselves personally. We prayed that the Holy Spirit would crush that door we were hiding behind and fight His way into our hearts.

... that was about 2 or 3 months ago and I can honestly by the name of the Lord most High say that the Holy Spirit answered our prayers and came "in widely, swords swinging" (excerpt from a song by Jess Ray and the Rag Tag Army) and fought for us and lit up our hearts with a burning longing fire and a joyful soul.

Of course I can never claim to know the Holy Spirit fully but slowly He is claiming me and my life and I willingly give it up for His use! For the change He has already made has just been the most incredible time period of my life! Its almost indescribable. Worship has become so personal and insanely important to me. Worldly fears that I had struggled with before have ceased. My heart filled with more love for everyone... that is excluding almost no one! I can hardly believe it myself!

The Holy Spirit is powerful and not to be forgotten or afraid of.

Worthy Father, Loving Savior, Holy Spirit I exalt thee,

Stephie

ps. The Forgotten God is a book by Francis Chan... READ IT

Snowy Raleigh... What are the odds?

2010-02-02T22:42:00.004-05:00

(Indie in the snow)

Snow Day # 5

With 5 days of snow, 3 days off of school, 7+ people in my house, 2 dogs, too many hours spent watching tv, absurd amount of computer time, and too little amount of hours slept...

Im over the snow. ha.

Although...

I am sitting here listening to one of my favorite musical artists, Ray Lamontagne! His voice combined with the flickering light from the fireplace and the warm steamed hot chocolate in my mug is making for a good night.

I have enjoyed my snow days immensely! They have been fantastic and were very much welcomed at the beginning.

Day 1 : Friday - Met the youth group at the church and left for the mountains... had a great ride up to Greensboro before it started to snow and we had to turn around because it was too dangerous! Got home and was a bit sad because my Sister and make-believe sister were stuck up on the mountain!

Day 2: Saturday - Woke up and relaxed for a bit and had breakfast. Then went outside with the family with our dogs and had a great time just playin around. Then a family movie was in order. By the end of the day the family was on edge and grumpy for no apparent reason other than being stuck all together without our comic relief aka Whitney.

Day 3: Sunday - More snow, more movies, more computer. Then Whit and Jess got back from the mountains and came over(to keep the Snow Day Tradition alive) Then we went on a walk on the golf course and went snowboarding and sledding down the hills. When we got back we warmed up together by watching or attempting to watch a movie... and then ultimately just going to sleep ha.

Day 4: Monday - After being stuck in the house for a while we (Jess, Whit, Sam and I) decided that it was time to go on an adventure to the Wake Forest Coffee Co. getting there we ran into some minor slippery mishaps (hehe) but arrived safely. There we sat for hours doing homework and reading together until it was dinner time and so we left and went to dinner with the family. Then Jess and Whitney left with Indie back to the apt because they both had to work in the morning. In their place came : Josh, HG, and Beth. From there we made a massive fire in the fire pit and the girls roasted hotdogs and marshmellows while the boys went and threw snowballs at cars! ha (typical) ... after that we hung out and talked until about 4ish then all fell deep into sleeptown.

Day 5: Tuesday - Still no school. Hg and Josh hung out for a while and we just hung out and spent quality time with friends. But all of these lovely things must come to an end. So they went back home and now here we are. I am sitting in my living room drowning myself in Snowy Night Perfection.

The only problem is that tomorrow we still are out of school!!! What to do... what to do!

Well I plan on getting sleep tonight, ill keep you updated on Day 6!
Stephie

The District Ski Retreat '10... or not.

2010-01-29T21:07:00.004-05:00

Our 3rd North Ridge Youth event was cancelled.

After 2 hours of driving, one hour of that in the snow, we had to turn around and come home. All of this while part of our leadership (our Sheps and Make-Believe Sheps) were stuck at the retreat center.

I am sitting on my bed... and the snow is still pouring and will continue to pour until about 8pm tomorrow and possibly later than that! But there is one part about tonight that is making me super sad....I wasnt too sad about the cancelation just because i saw it coming but I just got hit with the fact that both my best friend and sister are stuck up on the mountain and I am stuck down here. That makes me incredibly sad cause I was so looking forward to this weekend and now there is no Retreat and no BFF (yes Jess Ray I just called you my BFF... dont get used to it! ha) and NO Sister! I am happy about the Snow Day but it just wont be the same without Whitta. I havent had a Snow Day without her since my age was in the single digits! Its gunna be a boring three days.

My only friend by my side... Indie!!

Lord what is Your plan for our Youth Group? Clarify Your will for us Father!

Stephie

Joy in the dead of the Winter.

2010-01-25T00:21:00.003-05:00

Tonight I find myself in my favorite summer retreat... on my back porch enjoying the weather. Ha.

Irony: Its winter.
BUT hey it's North Carolina... so you can't really depend on it being cold. ha.

Today was the first day of Missions Conference at my church, North Ridge Church (CMA), and I just adored it! What I did this weekend was exactly what I want to do with my entire life!! We spent two days setting up a huge stage and incredible layout for the Missions service in the gym! Two days of cords, mics, instruments, sound(and its aggravations), laughter, fellowship, perfecting my perfectionist tendencies, learning sooo much more, becoming bold in my ear and its abilities, spending sweet time with friends, Serving!, Worshiping!... I love this kind of stuff!! Sheesh! I love it!

Praise God because His mercies are indescribable!

After all of that setting up it all came down to two events... one morning and one evening service. They were both insanely awesome! For me they were at least! I just get so much pleasure at being at that church and praising the Lord with those adorable people! I just can't get over it!

But now I am going to go to sleep so I can use this school-free day tomorrow to my advantage! ha.

Holy Spirit thank You for Your joy!
Stephie

Holy Spirit, You are welcome here.

2010-01-23T21:43:00.004-05:00

There is something so intriguing about the Spirit of the Living God.

He is always around but we seem to devise a false fact that He is only around at youth retreats, spiritual conferences and "good" worship nights. Why do we look past His signals and signs that shines brightly on our faces?

I do not understand Him. The Lord has called us to live in the Spirit... Therefore I must. I long to understand His ways but this earth screams at me and tells me that His ways are too this or too that! Even some forms of the Church... the house of the Lord... strives to keep His ways out! I do not wish to do so!

I want to read the Bible take it literally! I want to read what the Lord says and asks and then I want to be able to do... not to hold back to fulfill partially... but to DO!

As my heart and longing grows for knowledge of the Spirit also the struggle and battle of the enemy increases. As I search for the Spirit the enemy is strong at work to cause confusion and doubt within me. I am pressing through the evil one's ploys and schemes but they take a toll on my heart. There is only one cure and that is the Lord. He is my comfort and strength.

I constantly find the enemy deceiving my thoughts by the closure of my mouth. He knows that one of the most powerful ways to convey the Spirit and His power, along with action, is speech. He spits out lies upon lies that the things I have been experiencing with the Lord are unworthy of speech. That what the Holy Spirit is doing in my life is too minuscule for anyone to care. When I try to speak, fear grips my heart and my words are silent. I hate it. I hate that I have been conned into this lie. I hate that I cannot find my way out of it because I sometimes still believe it. Even as I write this the evil one is heavy on my shoulders and is whispering continual lies into my ears. Right now he is hammering the feeling of disappointment into my thoughts. He is telling me that I should feel disappointed in myself for not even going to the one person on earth I confide everything in. The one person that is most stoked about the Spirit's work right now and I have not even told her the work in me except for a few measly text messages. I know these lies to be wretched and deceitful and yet I hear them. Wow Satan sure knows your weaknesses and he goes right for the cheap shots.
These battles are strong... Father, fight for me. I call out to your immovable power!

I want the Spirit to destroy these fears and doubts. I know He can! I don't want to come down from that mountaintop! I want to live it and use it for The Holy and worthy Father's glory!

Holy Spirit create in me a dwelling place... fight for me,
Stephie

65 degrees and Fearing

2010-01-18T14:48:00.006-05:00

Today is a perfect day.

The weather is a lovely 65 degrees.

My windows are open to the soft wind.

My speakers are streaming beautiful melodies.

But today all I can think upon are my friends that are going to Thailand in 4 days. They are going to witness first hand what the Sex Slave Trade is doing to girls lives in Thailand. All I can think upon is the pain that they are going to have to witness. I know that it is for the Lord's glory and Will that they are going to see this pain causing sight. I can't help but ache within for them.

I want to be rejoicing in the fact that I am seeing the Lord's call on their lives! I want to be ecstatic that they are carrying the Lord's news to the other side of the world...

I AM. This the end of my fears. I am no longer going to fear for them...

I am going to fight for them in prayer.

Worthy God, I believe that You will protect them. Protect them in the physical and their weakness of heart. I believe that You can bring Your Name across the seas. I believe that You will be their stronghold and keep them mighty in Your Will.

To You be the glory,

Amen

I AM praising the Lord for the girls and their ministry in Lifted!

Stephie

Difference

2010-01-12T22:57:00.005-05:00

There is a difference inside of me! I can feel it rising up! The Holy Spirit has torn through my barriers that I have built up over the years!

I HAVE LET GO!!!

I have let go of my fear and my doubt! I have let go of unbelief!

HE REIGNS! CHRIST, THE LIVING SAVIOR, REIGNS. THE FATHER REIGNS!

The Spirit now directs my feet and puts sound on my lips. A New Heart has been formed within me and I have no choice but to fall upon my knees and thank the faithful Living God! His mercies are new everyday!

My father loves me!
"We are never the same after we encounter the love of God!" -Kim Walker

Thank you Jesus, Thank you Savior!
Stephie

Thank You Jesus. Thank You Savior.

2010-01-11T14:59:00.002-05:00

Youth Group was overwhelming last night...

Nope let me rephrase that...

The Holy Spirit was overwhelming last night!

He was so evident that my only response was to literally fall on my knees and shout out praise and thanks to our Savior! I adore when the Holy Spirit takes over and controls my voice and actions. Without Him I would not have been able to be so bold in Him! Without Him I cannot Praise Him!!!! haha. How awesome is that! Without the Holy Spirit living and working within me, I am unable to praise the Lord to the fullest! ha.

I adored seeing friends and sisters/brothers in Christ kneeling before Him in praise! Crying out for guidence and knowledge! They make me so happy!

Thank you Jesus, Thank You Savior!
Stephie

2010 Venting

2010-01-03T22:16:00.004-05:00

The way I start off 2010

Im failing a class (this is the first time in my entire life!! Im freaking out)
I have yet to finish the homework that is due tomorrow... it is 10:30pm
I am in denial that school is back
I loathe theatre but its like a trap and I can't get out of it!
I get this wretched stomach ache when I think about school/theatre.
I am strongly disliking society for forcing earthly education upon me.
I dont want to be wasting my time by focusing and putting my time and effort into it when I could be using it for Christ's advancement!
I am sick and tired of lies being screamed at my face and out of my weakness I believe them.
I hate the moment when a friend asks: "How yah doin?" and I answer "fine/good" I hate lying.
I want to get out of this cage of unbelief and doubt in the power of the Trinity.
I want to fall and cry just so He can catch me on the way down because He is faithful when I am not.

I adore my friends because they get me through all of that crap even when they don't even know it.

I adore Whitney because she reads my thoughts and now carries around little peanuts and crackers for whenever I have a low blood sugar spell.
I adore Catherine because she never fails to remind me that I am her Mei Mei and I know she will always be right next to me if I ever need her!
I adore Jessie because our hugs are perfect together... she goes up and I go down... and because she gives me super Perfect hugs and says: "I love you, just to let you know."
I adore the Sr. High girls because they are ALL my best friends and they can make me smile at any time even when I am down.
I adore the Jr. High girls because they are so cute and I see longing for more in their eyes.

Fight for me God,
Fight for me Holy Spirit,
Fight for me Jesus Christ my Lord,
Stephie

New Years Eve at Stitch!

2009-12-31T11:44:00.004-05:00

Stitch!!!
Oh how I have missed thee.

Today I got the chance to go to work with Whitta again at Stitch and Holly Aiken bags! I worked here over the summer and adored it but when school started my career as a Holly Aiken Shop assistant came to an end.

With the school winter break at hand I got the chance again to help out in the shop! Such a happy day! New Years Evee!!! This is a great holiday! Spending it with my sister and doing fun stuff at the shop! Yay.

Oh and Eppy Birshday tu Yourshelf Nancy!!!

Shopgirl (GAME: Name the movie!),
Stephie

My Response to Samantha Crowder's "NEXT SEMESTER UPDATE"

2009-12-12T09:58:00.003-05:00

Okay so I read Sambird's blog this morning and I wanted to share my ideas on the subject at hand.

Subject: SAM IS COMING HOME!!!!!!!

I am super duper excited!

Reasons for Excitement:

1. She will be a part of apt girls nights...

The movie nights
The music jam nights
The Sit on The Couch For Hours Together Just Because We Want to Be Together nights
The Adventures we take
The laughter we expel when we are together
THE BARNES AND NOBLE NIGHTS!!!!

2. I want to go to coffee with this chick!

Um just imagine Sam...You and I....Drinking Coffee...Talking about life, books, music...our fave subjects!

3. She is going to be here!

I have such a pure joy to know that she will be here. I can know that Sambird is in the same city as I am.

Okay so there are plenty of reasons I adore the thought that Sambird is going to be living here but those are mainly the top 3!

I love you Sambird!

CONGRATS ON THE GRADUATION!!!

Stephie

ALMOST DONE!!!

2009-12-12T00:04:00.003-05:00

One more day.
Two more performances.
12 more hours.

and then My Fair Lady is over and I can return to my normal week, sleep schedule, and life.

Yay,
Stephie

All-Nighter 101

2009-12-09T23:33:00.002-05:00

Ingredients:

Starbucks!!! Triple Grande White Mocha. :)
A computer.
Chocolate.
Sweatpants.
MUSIC!

Tonights Playlist:
- Samantha Whitfield
- Alexis Worthington
-Jess Ray and The Rag Tag Army
- Paper Route (& on Youtube "Live @ Grantland pt.1&2)
- iTunes Shuffe ( Mindy Smith, Ray Lamontagne, Mute Math, John Mayer, Lauryn Hill, Loquat, Eisley, Joshua Radin... It was a good Shuffle night!!)

Im gettin pretty good at this All-nighter thing.

But then again...it is opening night for my performance tomorrow. So most likely Im gunna be regreting this. ha. Oh well.

A friend once told me that all of this school stuff isnt going to matter after I get out. I have held onto that fact. Because if I really think about it...my purpose on earth is not to get good grades and excel in acedemics so that i can get a good job...my true purpose is to glorify God and to share His hope and good news to the world. So what idiot came up with the idea that education was the main priority? Ha. So here I go...not caring if I pass or fail a high school course or if I ruin a theatrical performance...because those things are dumb and fleeting. He is forever. His mission is mine.

Oooo... Are We All Forgotten just came on...I love this song!!!
Stephie

Sleepy Morning. Sleepy Week.

2009-12-09T06:22:00.003-05:00

Im so tired.

Its really not tired...its exhausted. I forget that 7am-9pm school days are just hard.

And its not only that Im ust physically exhausted...

Im tired of waking up to the stress of having 5 technicians running a full Wakefield Theatre Production...when we usually have a little less than double that.
Im tired of going to class to find out that I have more work to do.
Im tired of not seeing my family.
Im tired of not seeing the girls or Indie.
Im tired of having to do 2+ hours of homework AFTER a 14 hour day.
Im tired of pulling All-Nighters.
Im tired of this show! Its not even fun!
Im tired of the feelings that I could burst into tears at any moment.
Im tired of 5 or less hours of sleep.
Im tired of my schedule being completely booked.
Im tired of failing my classes.
Im tired of being a walking zombie.
Im tired of trying to act like I am enjoying doing this.
Im tired of feeling behind...IN EVERYTHING.
Im tired of Essays Due on Opening Day and 200 question Study Guides due the day after!
Im tired of my teachers saying "Well you shouldn't have done the musical if you couldnt handle my classload and the production!"
Im tired of my communication being only through the internet and cell phone.
Im tired.

Lord, Im exhausted. Come to my rescue because You are the only one who can cure my weak state!

Stephie

Vocal Obsession.

2009-11-28T21:27:00.003-05:00

This girl's voice has become my new obsession!

Her name is Lisa Mitchell and she is an aussie musician and her music is perfect!
Take this song for instance...

Clean White Glove

That video makes me want to wear red lipstick and write letters while looking out the window of a train!

And instead of finishing my 6 page paper for APES class...I google her. ha.

Stephie

Um...Why?

2009-11-23T21:51:00.002-05:00

Its here.

The overwhelming feelings. The future is clear... extreme lack of sleep, late (if done) homework, Family time at 0%, Friend time at -4%, the feeling of crying for days because of the intense amount of pressure that is crushing me, communication is basically through texting (I wont even have time for a phone call), grades at the lowest they have ever been.

Really? Why do I do this to myself? For a week I kill myself. I am a literal walking zombie. I dont get to go to church. I will be at school for roughly 171 hours in the span of two weeks. For comparison...A normal student that goes to an after school activity once a week is in school for 72 hours in two weeks.

I think I should be formally charged with insanity. That is a difference of 99 hours in a SCHOOL! What would possess someone to do this to themselves?

I cannot answer that question. I do love it sometimes. I do get pleasure after the show is completed or when I see my friends and family watching the show I had a major role in producing. But is that worth it? Is a scholarship worth 6 weeks out of my life every year spent completely at a school exhausting myself?

The Lord has always been my strength for these weeks. I cannot do it without His loving voice. He is my warm hugs on the long nights in the Theatre. I rest in Him.

Praying for His warmth,
Stephie

New Moon

2009-11-21T21:57:00.002-05:00

I am going to see New Moon tonight!

Tonight is Catherine Elizabeth Walker and Stephie Lauren Drummond Hang Out Night! It has been quite a while since we had one of these nights! You know with Jess and Whitta getting in the way of everything (hehe just kiddin). Well tonight we are alone because Jess and Whit went to Hotlanta this weekend.

Our plans: New Moon!

I am officially a teenage girll...ewww/bleh/ughh... I like Twilight! I can't help it! Maybe its a teen thing. That Teenage part of me wants to come out or something but I really like it and can't wait to see it tonight! Woo hoo. Well here walks in Cat! Thats my cue to hop in the car and go to NM! Yay.

The teenage girl,

Stephie

Its over.

2009-11-17T23:42:00.003-05:00

Im done with it!

Im done with running for that goal. Im done trying to please. Im done caring so much it affects my choices. Im done with feeling disappointed. Im done with trying. Im done with worrying about something I already have. Im done with watching myself fall away from my true desire.

Why did I care? Why was it so important?

But why did it have to take me getting angry to realize this? Why do I have to be frustrated and let down to come to this conclusion? Why was I so stubborn not to come to it easily. I dont want to be angry. But Im so done with it! I just dont want that anymore. I dont want to feel that trapped by constant worries anymore. Im done with letting other people down by my inability to let this go.
The End.

God give me the strength everyday to release my addiction to this goal,
Stephie

Being Sick is Overrated!

2009-11-09T21:04:00.003-05:00

Im sick. :(

Whitta and I got this virus in our throats. Dumb. Basically we have an infection in our throats that cause fevers and exhaustedness (that is now a new word in my vocabulary).

I wish I could sleep for two days straight! That would be awesome! But no...it doesnt work out that way.

Here is my Schedule for Tomorrow:

1st Period: AP Environmental Test! Urga...I tried studying tonight but a fever kinda disables you.

2nd Period: Probably sleeping as much as possible.

3rd Period: Work...manual labor...stress.

4th Period: AP English is going to cause too much thinking! Im preparing for a headache tomorrow.

After School: Rehearsal till 8:30pm.

Therefore my day consists of being sick and putting in a full 14 hour day at school! Perfect.

And tonight I do not feel like doing any homework or any studying because I am exhausted and all I want to do is watch the latest episode of The Office to cheer me up! Thats it...Im doing it! No more schoolwork!

Prayers would be fantastic!

Stephie

iHeartFilm

2009-11-03T06:28:00.004-05:00

This is a Twitpic of Hillsong United setting up for their new iHeartFilm that premieres live at 7:30pm tomorrow night!

Like I can't tell you how much I long to do this one day! To be a techie for something like this!!! Crazy! I would love it so much!

Anywho, Im super excited about this and I hope that everyone is coming to see it tomorrow night with me!

Have a great day,

Stephie

The Lord's Stephanie Drummond Planner

2009-10-25T22:52:00.003-04:00

Why am I still up?!

This weekend was crazy cool! Almost every minute was spent with friends and doing fun things! From things such as Wakefield's (failure) Homecoming Game, Apt with unexpected friend (John, Will, and Sambird!!!)...on that note I think I should get to know Will better! He seems like such a solid dude but i feel like im getting caught up in his amazing wife, Nancy. I got to spend a bit of time hanging with him and the rest of the Ray Sibs this weekend and it was fantastic! Alright now back to the list of things I did this weekend ha...Breakfast with the Gals, Day with the Band(JessRayandTheRagTagArmy)/Bryboy/Sarah @ Christ Baptist's Missions Conference, The NC State Fair with Bryant and Sarah!!, Church( :]]), Paintball w/ School friends for a school project!!!(how cool is that! I got to go paint balling for a project!), Youth Group! Yepp a pretty busy weekend id say. I feel like I didnt sleep...probably cause i didnt ha.

Youth group was so good tonight. Most importantly the Back-Porch portion of Youth Group was great! Back-Porch is what our youth group calls "Small Groups." The girls/guys get together in a room after the service and just share whats on their hearts. Tonight the Junior High Girls were with us!

But anywho...tonight on the Back-Porch we had a time of sharing our sins. Now how many of you when reading that kinda cringed inside? Seriously! Well its natural...who wants everyone to know your faults. But I have to say, it is completely needed! I adore that I have a place where I can be completely honest and give these sins to the Lord. However hard it is to audibly speak sins to everyone, i needed it. It was exactly in the Lord's plan for my night. His perfect planning!

Walking within His perfect plan,
Stephie

Adventures of Truvy: The Drive-In

2009-10-17T21:46:00.002-04:00

Tonight we went to the Drive-in Movie Theatre =]

My dad has had this little fuzzy(idea/dream/wish) of taking the family to see a drive-in movie at the one closest to us. Tonight that fuzzy was fulfilled. :)

Tonight my parentals, the Apt Gals, and I took a road trip, in Truvy and Stanley (those are Whitta and my Dad's cars hehe) 45 mins out of our normal domain. Drove up to our parking spot, got comfy in our seats, and changed the radio station to 90.3!

Surrogates

That was the movie that was playing on this fine night. It was actually a pretty good movie. I enjoyed it...but also it was the fact that we were in a DRIVE-IN!

I adore Drive-ins! They are the coolest things! There is that feeling of being a part of something antique, a part of American history.

Not to mention the experience of the Concessions Stand! ha. Now that is something everyone should have to experience!

But anywho, It was such a great night just spending those hours within the walls of Truvy with the girls! I love them, I really do.

Have a Lovely night Bloggy People,

Stephie

"When Autumn leaves start to fall..."

2009-10-13T20:12:00.000-04:00

Where I want to be! So badly!

So if you didnt know, this is a picture of the Blue Ridge Parkway in Autumn. Probably in the Top 10 Most Beautiful Roads in Autumn (in America)...or it should be! I declare it! There is just this awesome feeling of sailing through the parkway with the windows down(for only minutes at a time because it gets quite chilly) 'Autumn Music' playing and breathing in the crisp-est and cleanest air in the WHOLE world. hehe. I want to be there right now! I want to be driving to see Sambird or Nancy & Will! That would make me so happy! A road-trip!! Ahh...wow I need to plan one! Real soon!

But for tonight I will just have to dream about my adventures in Boone.

Tonight I have been especially motivated. I also plan to continue with this motivation!

Things I have Accomplished Tonight:

Organization of All my binders (a task that has been neglected since the start of school...scary!)
Most of a list needed for My Fair Lady Rehearsal on Thursday.
Planner...Color Coded with new events & Dated with Meetings with my teachers to keep up or boast my grades while being swamped with theatre for the next 2 months!
All homework complete.
Studying for PSAT tomorrow...check!

Things to finish Tomorrow:

Homework for...AP US History, Study Guide for AP Environmental, Secret for Post-Secret for Twentieth Century Classics.
My Fair Lady Rehearsal Reports...and other nic-nacs
Any make-up work that I have yet to turn in.

Looks like quite a few things to do tomorrow but, tomorrow is going to be a good day...I KNOW it! My day starts with the PSAT (bleh) but, then improves with a theatre performance during the school day which gets me out of a portion of 4th period! yay. In the rest of 4th period we will continue to discuss a book that I dont particularly like but I like discussing about it! Then we get out early cause its a Wednesday! I am so super excited! Not to mention...Church tomorrow night!!! Yipper Skipper!

I love Wednesdays!

But anywho...I plan on getting to bed by 9pm tonight so I better get going on that...

Praise be to God, for He is faithful and just!

Stephie

2009-10-09T22:01:00.002-04:00

What shall I write of tonight?

First of all, do you like my graphic?! I am so excited about the ones I have made today. I very well know that I am far from good but I am so proud of being able to create something like that on my second try! And what a joy it was to mold and shape a white page into a thing of color and dimension.

Tomorrow I get the pleasure of journeying around the town with one Jess Ray. Tomorrow is the date of Jess Ray and The Rag Tag Army's concert at Summit church. I have a duty to this band. The duty that I have loved for the past two years. That duty of mine is to the technical aspect of JR and TRTA. I do love it most dearly. The word duty is only to describe the responsibility to this band. But do not let it fool you! I cannot describe how much i love it.

For now I have to leave you, Max is calling upon his computer!

For now,

Stephie

The Beginning of Autumn Nights

2009-10-07T21:38:00.002-04:00

Im sitting on my couch all snuggied up in a warm sweatshirt (which i got from my newly clean closet). It is fairly chilly outside, perfect autumn weather.

Wanna know something else that is perfect tonight?!?!

Alexis Worthington. :))

Alright so I met this girl a couple weeks ago. We have a mutual friend (Sambird!!). Sam had told me that Alexis sang and so I looked her up!

Her music is a perfect blend of soft lovely vocals and beautiful acoustic brilliance. Made for an autumn night consumed by hot tea and a book.

And look...i have both of those! yippee skippee! hehe.

So Im gunna get back to the inner workings of my book.

G'night Bloggy People,

Stephie

Sicky Sickerton.

2009-10-02T22:50:00.002-04:00

Today i woke up and i was sick!

I had the works....incredibly painful headache, sneezing every 2 minutes, my mind feeling all fuzzy, my nose...well it just had no air passage lets just put it that way, I was achy and I didnt want to go to school.

The problem: A huge test in 4th period!

So that meant cramming a massive amount of pills down my throat and trying to smile.

The day was rough. But it was a friday and now i can sleep all weekend! woo hoo.

So when i got home I slept from 3 to 6pm! It was great! But then i had to wake up enough to get ready and go to the football game! And at that I had to be peppy and cheerful because I just had to be. After the domination of the football game, my dad took us to Char Grill!

This milkshake...although not very good for my cold...is the perfect antidote for my downer mood!

Now i am going to bed and hopefully sleeping for at least 12 hours! Thats my goal!

Happy Dreams Everyone,
Stephie

As of Right Now....

2009-09-28T22:49:00.005-04:00

Currently Listening to: Ray Lamontagne
Currently Talking to: Jessica Ray & Samantha Crowder
Currently Texting: Bryant.
Currently Thankful for: Having someone with almost the exact taste in music as myself!
Currently Eating: Nestle Chocolate Lovers Cookies
Currently Wearing: (non-skinny)Jeans/T-shirt (Lifted T) and a Hillsong Hat ( i really dont know the real name of them now! ha)
Current Tabs up on the Compie Screen: Facebook/Pandora/Blogger.
Current Mood: Completely and Utterly Content
Current State of my Room: Messyy!!
Current Plans for the week: School/Theatre.
Current Plans for the Weekend: Depends on if I can convince Whitney to go to Boone with me! ha.
Current Season (as of Last week): AUTUMN!!!
Current Fear: That this compie is going to die before I can get power to it! ha.
Current Finger Nail Color: Yellow ( well I was bored today so now it looks like i have yellow polish with a white french tip haha)
Current Thought that Makes My Heart Leap for Joy: That Samantha Crowder is going to be home next semester! Ahh!!
Current Weather : Was stormy and now is quite chilly!
Current Book of the Bible I am reading: Revelations ( and I dont really care if you think that is weird or anything like that because God tells us to KNOW the Bible...from Cover to Cover! No matter if that book is sad, depressing or uncomfortable by our own judgments...I mean why is Revelation so weird to people? it is talking of the coming of our Savior! Yes their might be sacrifice and struggles that are foretold in our future within but what is a suffering if we have Christ?)
Current Ache from Soccer Last Night: My back!
Current Homework that I have yet to finish: AP Environmental.
Current Number of Hours of Sleep I could get if I went to bed Right Now: 6 1/2 ha.
Current Fear that I am Overcoming: Singing in front of People
Current Project: Harmony (Ughh...some days i find it easy...others not so much! I need a formula... Doing this + this = Harmony)
Current Summer Moment I Miss the Most: Beaufort(all memories that come along with that)
Current Weekend I look forward to the Most: VA Film Festival
Current CD in My CD Player In My Room: Jess Ray and The Rag Tag Army
Current On-Going Research: Techie/Worship Conferences in NC this year
Current Memory Replaying in My Head that Is Making Me Giggle: Jess literally Kicking me off of the bed! ha.
Current Number of Espresso Shots Running Through Me: Three. hehe.

Current need: Sleep.

G'night Bloggy People,
Stephie

Why Georgia Rant.

2009-09-21T22:44:00.004-04:00

Today has been a whirlwind of events.

First off...I am THE stage manager for Wakefield Theatre Company's Production of My Fair Lady!!!! Im pretty excited about it.

But that also brings a heavy and rough schedule that combined with my AP load might just kill me by the end. But through the grace, mercy, faithfulness, and the fortress that is God, I will make it through.

Tonight I was sitting here...after a 3:30-6:30pm rehearsal, dinner with the girls, and Goodberrys with the fam...trying to finish up my APUSH homework. Ha. We will see how that goes. But as I was sitting here I had my iTunes going on a shuffle of all of my songs. (always brings out the oldies that I forget about!) Tonight I was typing away at some Historical essay question type thing and a song came on in my ears. This song instantly put a smile on my face. Its a song most people know...Why Georgia by John Mayer. But there is this one memory I have of this song and it just connects my heart with happy moments.

This one memory in particular just sticks out to me. Let me set the scene for you...

North Ridge Youth Senior High Beach Retreat 08... Hanging out before a meeting...Jess Ray has her guitar...I am being kept busy with little Zoe but still listening to Jess's soft strumming.

Alright since the scene is set, let me tell you this story. ( Its pretty uneventful but to me it has always made me so happy...i really dont know why!)

So I hear Jess playing a familiar song. At first I can't pick it out and I am also distracted by Zoe picking up something from the floor and trying to put it in her mouth. Ha. But as she plays it I have the this song playing in my head. In my version the guitar part continues but at that part she just stopped and started playing it the first part over again. So my logical thought progression needed me to ask her if she could play the other part...it was my favorite. But I want yall to know that Jess and I were just getting to be good friends at this point. So I asked her..."Hey can you play the next part of that song?" and she just looked at me for a second and asked "What part?" and so I asked her to play the part she played over again. Then I sang out the next guitar part. She looked at me some more and then answered "Sorry no I cant." So then I went on playing with Zoe. A couple minutes later Jess looked at me and asked me "How did you know to ask that?" and I didnt know how to answer that question. It was just logical for me. It was my favorite part of the song. So thats how i answered. Jess just smiled and nodded her head.

The first time Jess talked to me it was out of an obligation. Not a bad obligation and Im not saying she didnt want to come and talk to me but it is just what she does. She is the Junior High Girls Youth Leader. Whenever there is a new JH Girl she is the first one to go up and talk to them. And thats what I was. But at some point, it changed from that 8th grade girl and her leader to two girls that act like sisters and laugh like friends. Im not sure how to explain how that memory just makes me think of the beginning of our relationship because I mean that was it...we didnt talk about that song ever again but it was so special to me! If you asked Jess if she remembered it, it would probably be some faint memory if any. Thats how little it was. But it just stuck out to me. Thats all, it was special.

And hey girls...do you remember the beginning? Do you remember Spring Break 2008? Haha.

I love when good music distracts me,
Stephie.

Hugh Bryan

2009-09-15T18:45:00.003-04:00

This is a little excerpt from the text i had to read tonight for US History,

"DEAR CHILD,

Considering the continual scene of vanities before you in that town where you are, which pass under the names of neatness, and innocent diversions and amusements, I shall not be surprised to hear that my last was a disagreeable letter, enjoining unnecessary restraints, and laying you under an obligation to be singular, and consequently to be pointed at, and perhaps ridiculed; but, my dear, let such thoughts put you upon seeking to God for his directions for that true wisdom by which only you may understand his will. God will give liberally, see James I. ver. 5. if we seek with honest and holy intentions to promote his glory, in devoting our lives to his service, which only is the true end of our being. . . . The soul that seeks happiness must be open, and willing to receive reproof, as well as instruction; remember and bear constantly in mind, that in your baptismal vow, you have absolutely renounced all the vanities of this world, and that every superfluous thing is a vanity which you are to shun. All discourse which has no tendency to your own good, or to the good of others, is idle, unprofitable, and sinful, and your actions are to be governed by the same rule; therefore when you find in you an inclination to any vanities, lift up your prayer to God for strength to enable you, and resolve immediately to turn your heart to some object, or subject that may be agreeable to his will. . . .

. . .

O! rest not, my dear, in the love of worldly goods; get out of this spiritual Sodom, from the vain sensual delights which pollute the soul, lest you be consumed with the wicked; flee to your most gracious redeemer, seek to him with strong and constant prayers to accept and justify you by his free grace, and sanctify your corrupt nature by his Holy Spirit, that your whole soul and body may be prepared for his service, and devoted entirely to do his will.

From your affectionate father,

H.B.

Hugh Bryan and Mary Hutson, Living Christianity (London: J. Buckland, 1760), pp. 21-24."

I loved reading this for school,

Stephie

The Ending of a Life and a beginning of a Servant.

2009-09-14T22:34:00.005-04:00

I cant blog anymore.

I have no drive to do it anymore. This post has taken me about an hour just to start.

I mean, I really want to! I want to be able to sit down and write what i feel and what i have learned. But every time i sit in front of this computer screen I get this block that just crushes my ability to form the sentences and the paragraphs.

I want to blog about the sensational Jess Ray and how she means the world to me or her amazingly cool band The Rag Tag Army! I want to blog about how awesome their new cd is but I want to spend time on it and I want to explain and describe. Im not sure why I am getting this mental block towards Blogspot but I just cant write right now. I just can't sit around and write about trivial things anymore and my day/week but that is exactly where I have been at for the past few months. And I am not saying that Jess Ray and The Rag Tag Army are tivial...I mean go listen to their songs and read their lyrics and you will see how significant they really are...but the way I was going to write about them would not do them or the Lord justice at all. I wont do that. I dont want to be worldly. I dont want to talk of things with little value. The words that come out of my mouth or that i type are not mine to do freely with. When Christ died for my redemtion, that is where my freedom of speech ceased to exist. I was bought by Jesus Christ's precious blood.

My heartbeat, my breath, my thoughts, my words are His to do what He pleases.

"My life" ended at birth but the Lord was given a new servant on that day. I will do my best to live a life that pleases Him.
Stephanie.

Live from the Cd Release Dress Rehearsal!

2009-09-11T19:52:00.004-04:00

I really dont think that there can be more coolness in one room!

Tonight is the official Jess Ray and the Rag Tag Army Dress Rehearsal! Soooo exciting!

Today was "Set-Up Day." Which means we do a lot of work in one day. Hanging lights, setting up various instruments, plugging in cord after cord, getting power to everything, Soundcheck (huge portion of the day!), mic-ing everyone and every instrument, getting the necessities of a band ready, giggling with Jessie at random things that just make us laugh, and hanging out with the band.

Right now I am watching Jess listen to her band play. She must be so proud of them. You can see it in the way she watches them. The way she giggles when one of them does something insanely radical! I love it.

I love being a part of it all. To be able to work with such a great band with such a great purpose. To preach the gospel through their music abilities!

But I should probably get back to work! hehe. Come to the CD Release...Tomorrow Night @ 8:00pm @ North Ridge Church Raleigh, NC!

Yay,

Stephie

Death by Chocolate and Caramel

2009-08-31T20:18:00.003-04:00

As I sit here, my shirt is covered in flour, my face covered in chocolate fudge, and I have sitting in front of me a creation deserving an award!

' Death by Chocolate and Caramel Brownies '

They basically are a layer of homemade brownies, a layer of Hersey chocolate bars, then melted caramel, then another layer of brownie, and then scattered Hersey chunks on top.

Whoa...overload!

Now let me tell you how I made a Brownie Sundae out of that...

Take your bowl...put a layer of ice cream down, let it melt. Then add the ooey-gooey brownie. Next add another layer of ice cream (in my case, Chocolate/Vanilla/Oreo). Then cover with whipped cream. And drizzle hot fudge all over that! And if you want presentation...go for the Coco Powder over that!

It is heaven in chocolate!

I am a happy person!

Stephie

Day One Report.

2009-08-25T22:30:00.002-04:00

Why do I forget that I love school?

Right now I am sitting in my perfectly lit room, listening to Samantha Whitfield and thinking on what the year has in store for me.

The first day was great! I got to see all of my friends that i hadnt seen since the beginning of the summer!

Classes:

AP Environmental:

Solid class. Teacher...nice but wouldnt like it if i got on her bad side...ooo scary! Its gunna be a lot of work. I am going to have to get prepared! We are talking color tabbing and highlighters.

Twentieth Century Classics!!!:

First off...coolest teacher ever! I get to read great books, watch cool movies, have impeccable class discussions on text, read outside...or anywhere on campus, joke with a teacher, have fun in a class i adore already and it has only been the first day! The End...great class....probably more about it throughout the year.

Technical Theatre III:

This year is going to be a bit different since we are being grouped with the theatre class...budget is really all we hear about no-a-days...BUT we are doing My Fair Lady for our musical this year! Along with 41 other performances throughout the year. Including one that will be touring around the county to different school theatres! Crazy year! But hey...its theatre...i love it right?

AP English III:

Parrish!!!! My teacher happens to be my old creative writing teacher!!! How awesome is that...I walked into her classroom today and this was our conversation!

Me: (as i walk in the door) "MRS. PARRISH!! Did you miss me?!?"

Mrs. Parrish: "Of course!"

Me: "Cause you KNOW I missed you!"

Mrs. Parrish: "as you should have."

It was a great moment in my day! haha. Again, a lot of work but its going to be okay.

Now lets talk about how this year works...cause there are definite changes!!

The budget is literally all were hear about from ALL of our teachers! We can't do a TON of things now because of it! But its alright cause we will get through it.

Schedule Changes...

Well lets start with lunch... a one hour lunch period!!! Yipper Skipper! I get one hour to go off campus and go home if id like, go out to eat with friends...do anything! Yes!!!

Then we have the Wed. Early Release. Every wednesday we get 1 hour off! So we now end the school day at 1:28pm on wednesdays!! How exciting!

The only change to every other day is that we stay an extra ten minute...not bad at all!

Oooo I almost forgot! We can now have Cell Phones, Ipods, etc... out on school campus inbetween classes and during lunch!!! yay! I am a happy camper.

This year isnt gunna be so bad as i thought, Thank you Almighty God!
Stephie

Wake Up Call!!!!

2009-08-25T06:29:00.003-04:00

6:30 is way too early!

Today is my first day of Junior year! Yipper Skipper! Sammy is coming up to high school too! How crazy is that? My little brother in high school! Weird! But I can only post a little one this morning since i do have to be at school in less than 20 mins. yay!

God give me a strong heart and a bright light for you!
Stephie

Goodbye My Summer, It Was Nice to See You!

2009-08-23T15:43:00.006-04:00

Topics for today:

Jessie Ray's Birthday
Church
Goodbye Summer
Hello Junior Year

Topic 1: Jessie Ray.

Today is Jess Ray's birthday! Happy Birthday Jessie! Last night we stayed up until 12am tie dying t-shirts and watching movies. And just to let you know, I WAS the first to say happy birthday...compared to common belief. It was a most perfect night! I am so happy that was my last Saturday night of freedom! I love those girls. And I love Jess! Happy 21st Year of Existence Day!

Topic 2: Church.

Today in church...there was just something happening! The Holy Spirit was there; He was working in us. It was great to see my church come together as one to worship. Sometimes I feel like the church gets divided...well ours does. The two groups... The People That Like The Worship and The Ones That Dont. I mean, I am totally guilty of this. But it leads to people straying away from their purpose. Their purpose being, exalting the One that created them. Everyone gets caught up in..."Who chose this song?"..."Why are they leading?"..."I wouldn't have chosen that one!". But guys...Can we worry about that later? I mean if you dont feel the Spirit in that song...sit down and pray. Pray to Lord to bring The Spirit down to you. Pray that The Spirit would fill the church no matter the song, the person, the choice. Can we stop being arrogant and humble ourselves to the Lord? And I understand that the role of the worship leader is to lead us to The Spirit but can we stop...stop and praise....Because He is worthy of praise right? Do you believe that? Do you believe Jesus Christ, Lord on High, is better than the song, the person, the choice? Then praise...no matter if that is sitting down and bowing your head or singing along wholeheartedly! Stop standing around! Steph STOP STANDING AROUND! Body of Christ STOP STANDING AROUND! ...okay so that was my rant of the day.

Topic 3: Goodbye Summer.

This summer was filled with great memories. Beaufort being some of my favorites! From just waking up and walking out to the dock and watching as the sun as it crept along sky with some people i would call family in a heartbeat! A summer filled with a license, a job, a phone! Things are going to probably be changing next summer but i will always have these memories to hold onto!

Topic 4: Hello Junior Year.

So im a Junior guys! Whoa! I know! My junior year is going to be packed with...AP Classes, READING!, Theatre, YOUTH GROUP(i am so stoked about this new year! For a couple reasons!), friends, Tech for youth group!!!!!!!!!, Jess Ray and The Rag Tag Army, Lifted Events!...and Im sure so much more. Leaning on the shoulder of the Lord. He is how I am going to get through this. He is my strength and my stronghold. He is my fortress and refuge. He is my master and commander. He is my home and my father. He is my comfort and my hope. He is my breath and beat. He is laughter and my tears. He is fear and my respect. He is my freedom and redeemer. He is my feet and path. He is El. He is my God. He is the Creator. He is the Savior. He is Yahweh. He is Jehovah. He is the Almighty One. He is The One. He is I AM.

The evil one will try to tempt and scheme. My ears will not hear. My eyes will be blind. My mouth will be shut.

"He says it's impossible... but I know it's possible
He says it's improbable... but I know it's tangible
He says it's not grab able... but I know it's have able
Cause anythings possible... Cause anything is possible

You are my peace of mind... That old me is left behind
You are my peace of mind... You're my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind... He's my peace of mind
He's my peace of mind... What a joy it is to be alive
To get another chance, yeah... Every day's another chance
To get it right this time... every day's another chance

Oh what a merciful... merciful, merciful God
Oh what a wonderful... wonderful wonderful God (continue to end)
What a merciful... merciful, merciful, merciful God
What a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, merciful
Merciful, merciful, wonderful
Merciful, wonderful... "

I was kinda rant-y on this post...but im okay with that.
Stephie.

Friday Morning Joys.

2009-08-14T11:55:00.007-04:00

This morning i awoke to the slight whines of puppies at the foot of my bed.

As I lifted my eyelids I found two sets of brown eyes and a set of wagging tails. A groaned pushed through the smile on my face. 6:24am was way too early for me. But duty called...or should i say Indie and Cinder. My movement from bed to floor caused the excited frenzy of licks and jumps...again way too early for such play. But cute morning puppy faces were perfect remedies for such a annoyance of time. So after a quick potty time I plopped back into my luscious bed for another hour of shleep-shtate.

The Alarm.

My shleep-shtate was interrupted by a loud repetitive sound echoing from my small phone. I dont think my hand could have moved faster towards the STOP button. And then i laid there, trying to remember what sleeping felt like...the memory was just about as good as the real thing. Next step...shower time. The abnormally hot shower, along with my Morning Burst facial scrub awoke my mind enough to pick out a decent outfit for a day at the shop and apply my make-up in a smooth and proper manner.

Next...shoes, purse, and keys. These are no ordinary keys...these are the keys to the famous Truvy The Rocket Taxi. They have special powers...if you didnt know. A quick goodbye to the mother and to the puppies and I was out the door to an awaiting Truvy. As Truvy and I took to the road our destination was agreed...to Starbies it is. Ten minutes later I was holding two cups. One, Triple Grande White Mocha. Two, Triple Grande Vanilla Mocha. So with a good CD Mix in the player I was off to the apt to pick up the sis.

With our cups of smooth coffee in hand, Whit and I, drove the thirty minute distance to downtown Raleigh, where Stitch was awaiting unlocked doors.

Good Morning I'd say....you agree?
Stephie

Matt McGinn...My Fave Person of 2009

2009-08-07T16:46:00.011-04:00

My experience of Coldplay.

Lets start at the beginning, shall we....

It was Wednesday afternoon. I was downstairs in the shop, at work. There was sort of a lull in the customer flow so I was doing to inventory type things. Then this guy walks in. Normal guy, well normal for downtown soo...use your imagination. But for the most point he was your average joe. Then he starts to buy a T-shirt and so i start to ring him up. At this point i realize he has a British accent. As I try to get his British credit card to work (which ultimately didnt) he hears that we have Coldplay playing in the shop (my pick because I wanted to get pumped up for their concert.) The rest of this story i am going to put in dialog form ( by the way his name is Matt but we didn't figure that out until later)

Matt: (in British accent) So do you like these guys?

Me: "Yes, yes i do! I am actually going to their show on thursday."

Matt: "So tomorrow?"

Me: "Oh yes sorry...its been a long day."

Matt: " Well, you will see me there. I am the guitar tech for Jonny Buckland.

PAUSE!!

Did he just say guitar TECH for Jonny Buckland, the Jonny Buckland? One of the best guitar players ever! Jonny Buckland from Coldplay? Well let me answer that for you...YES!!! At this point in our conversation my breathing starts to fail!

Un-PAUSE

Me: "Really?!?"

Matt: "Yes. So do you have lawn tickets?"

Me: "Yeah."

Matt: "Would you like seat tickets?"

Me: (Breathing is no longer an option at this point) "Y-y-yes!! Could you do that?" ( "could you do that"...really Steph...he is Jonny Buckland's guitar tech...OF COURSE he can!)

Matt: "Yeah...just put your name here on this card and if there are available tickets then i can get you in, easy." (by the way...he is soo cool and calm...and then you look at me...Freaking out calmly.) "So are you going alone?"

Me: (stuttering)"N-n-no, im going with my friend Catherine." (At this point I have told Whit and Holly who is in our shop and Whit is helping to get his British card to work and sell him the Raleigh t-shirt)

Matt: (we have finished his purchase and now he is about to leave) Alright, Stephanie Drummond plus one. I'll call you before you close. When do you close?"

Me: (still stuttering) "S-six."

Matt: "Alright Stephanie, Ill talk to you later."

(exit Matt, Holly and Whit come over and look at me.)

Whit: "Do you need to sit down?"

Me: (Laughter)...I just met the guitar tech for Coldplay! He is getting me tickets...I need to sit down!

So after two phone calls to certain people that HAD to be informed...i waited. Then it came, the phone call.

Whit anwered:

Whit:"Hello...mmm Yeah, hold on." (hands the phone slowly to me as we smile at each other)

Me: "Hello, this is Stephanie"

Matt: "Hello Stephanie! Its Matt from earlier."

Me: "Oh, oh yeah." (listen to me...trying to sound all cool like I wasnt just waiting by the phone for his call! HA)

Matt:"You got a ticket, plus one!"

After that he went on a rant about how to get the tickets and what not! Then I got off the phone and again had to sit down! And then I called Cat!! this was our conversation...

Cat: "Hello."

Me: "Cat, we got the tickets!!!"

Cat: "OH MY GOSH!!...OHH MY GOSH!!!....OH MY GOSH.."

The "Oh my goshes" continued for the rest of the conversation!

Alright now speed up a day...

Setting: At the front gate of the Walnut Creek Amphitheater, walking towards Will Call.

So as I walk up to Will Call there is a separate window for The Band Tickets. So I, as calmly as possible, walk up to the window and give the great man my ID. The next account is our conversation.

The Man: "Alright so did you buy your tickets with .... (I dont remember what he said there) or are you with the band?"

Me: "The band." (in my head...im freaking out)

The Man: "Okay so which band, cause you know we have three tonight?"

Me: "Coldplay." (Still trying to be calm...but again inside I am freaking out)

The Man: "Great, here is your tickets...enjoy." (HAHA like we wont enjoy our show! HA)

So as we walk away to get our tickets scanned Catherine and I look down at our tickets and they say on the top right corner... Artist Comp $0.00 !!! I got comped by the artist! hahahaha oh my gosh! haha

Next we got into the theatre and continue down the lawn to see our friends and get the ones we came with down to where they were on the lawn...which by the way Kellie and Micah did a fantastic job to get them all the way in the front!

After saying our hellos Catherine and I went to go check out our seats...So we go up to the seats and then look down again at our tickets...Section 1!!!! So we walk all the way around to the other separate entrance for the Section 1 ticket holders (thats us!!). So we go find out that our tickets are Section 1...to the rightish...about 9 rows back! ahhh!!

Now when we were down there we saw that the tech crew was setting up for Coldplay...and there was Matt!!! So Catherine and I, for the next id say 5 minutes, called "MATT!!!", we even got some other people to do it with us! haha. Then he saw us!! We waved...I lipped "Thank You!" ...He waved, smiled, and continued tuning Jonny Buckland's guitar!!! hahaha.

The show begins...and that is another story...let me just say it was probably the most unbelievable concert I have ever been to and will ever go to! It was insanely perfect!

My Story of The Viva La Vida Tour,
Stephie

Redeemed to be in His Holy Presence

2009-08-03T00:42:00.008-04:00

I dont want to write anymore.

...anymore about things that are unimportant. haha. Sorry I just needed to scare you a bit.

But I dont want this to be a joking blog. I want this to be truth. I want my words to be truth. And by truth I mean I want the great and powerful, almighty and all-knowing Lord to come and speak through my unclean and wretchedly dirty lips.

I am listening to a new Hillsong song called We The Redeemed.

Just think about the word "Redeemed." To be redeemed from something. Cleared by payment. To discharge in FULL. To restore freedom to those restrained by paying a ransom. to be Rescued. To set free.

We have been cleared by payment. We have been discharged in full. We have been restored to freedom from our bondage of our sinful nature. We have been Rescued. We have been set free!

I cant seem to grasp it even as i write about it and listen to it in the words of this song! God, the almighty one, the creator of all, the impeccable Perfection, the reigning King, the gracious Savior, the faithful One...He redeemed us! He set us free from our imperfect human natures. An eternity of forgiveness for the ultimate sacrifice of His Son the glorious Christ Jesus!

Think about John 3:16 with me for a second!

John 3:16

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, so that whoever believes in Him shall never parish and have everlasting life."

And I know we have heard this verse so many times and can recite it in our sleep. It is even written on the bottom of a Forever 21 shopping bag (its true...if you ever buy something from there check it out next time). But this time, look at it again. And I mean really look at it. Let's look at is little by little together...

"For God so loved the world..." His love is endless and incomparable! Read Ephesians! It is packed full of God's unfathomable love for His creation!

"that He gave..." He GAVE!! He provides for us everyday but at this particular moment He GAVE His son! He gave Jesus as a sacrifice! A SACRIFICE! FOR YOU AND I!!! How are we worthy of that!?!?!? We arent...let me tell you, I am definitely not! But He is an awesome God, an awesome Creator!

"His one and only Son..." Guys...did you just read what I read?!?!?! His one and ONLY Son! This isnt just a verse guys!! Your God just gave His one and ONLY Son and then we go around thinking that we are so high and mighty! We think we can survive on our own cause we were forgiven so now we can live out a life that suits us! WHAT?!?!?! How in the world does that make sense?!?! IT DOESNT! We were bought by our God's Son's precious blood! A sacrifice that binds us to God. We are His and He deserves all of our praise!

"so whoever believes in Him shall have everlasting life." Our first reaction to this line most of the time, or at least mine, is that we hear the phrase "everlasting life" and our ears perk up. "Oo everlasting life sounds cool. I want to be immortal." But seriously, you are going to have an everlasting life its just the matter of if you choose to sit at the foot of the Lord and praise and worship Him for the rest of your days [WHOA AHH HOW AWESOME DOES THAT SOUND?!?!] or if you decide to live in a pit of torture and despair and being separated by the One who You are made for?

He gave us the chance to be with Him because that is what He wants. He wants His creation to be with Him! He calls out to us, by name, every day. So...Stephanie, Sarah, Katie, Quinn, Nancy, Sam, Catherine, Whitney...Are you going to be listening? You are redeemed by God. You are His Chosen. As a chosen child...what are you going to do about it? Live your days like the world or live your days as a creation made in the likeness of God?

"This is the sound of the redeemed rising up to praise the king!"

"We the redeemed, hear us singing, You are holy. You are holy!"

Listening,

Stephanie

New Websites for Everyone!!!

2009-08-01T09:39:00.005-04:00

Jess Ray and The Rag Tag Army!

...

That link above me is to my favorite band of all time...and I am being completely honest. But I am kinda biased. haha. But anywho...they got a new website to match their new CD coming out on Sept. 12th...Mark your calenders people! Let me say it again...Sept. 12, 2009 at North Ridge Church in Raleigh NC! Please Check out the website...soon you will be able to check out their music. But since you can really yet...just take my word for it! They are amazing! Jess Ray has an impeccable voice and insane musical abilities! And The Rag Tag Army is what the rest of Jess's band is called! They consist of Daniel Faucette, Dustin Miller, and John Ray! [But The Rag Tag Army doesnt just end there but we will get on that subject sometime later. :) ] Anywho, all three of those boys are extremely gifted people. But this band is not only about playing good music...it is also and mainly about "clearly presenting the gospel through their actions and their music"...which is part of their mission statement.

So everyone check them out...NOW!

...

And one more....

...

Lifted Events

...

Really there is a lot to explain about Lifed Events and for me not that much time to write. Lifted Events is a cooperation with the organiztion Remember Nhu. Lifted Events are events held at different venues around North Carolina and now Ohio to raise awarness and support for the prevention of global sex-trafficking. Now for more information go to the link provided above.

Go to these sites...NOW!
Stephie

A Good Days Work

2009-07-30T18:12:00.000-04:00

Im am at work.

So it is about 6:02pm on Thursday July 30, 2009. The shop is officially closed. Whether people realize this and do not come in is another subject.

Report of the Day:

We had a decent day of sales. A good flow of customers throughout the day. Including my favorite breeds. Children and men looking for presents for their significant other. Children are always fun! They like to talk to you and find out what you are doing. They always have something interesting to say or do...it never gets boring. And then there is my other favorite breed. The men always come in and have this one look on their faces! Its a look that says "I am in uncharted teritory and I have no clue what i am doing. HELP ME!" You can basically always detect it and it is fun! and when you ask them if you can help and breath of relief flows out of them! haha. Its pretty comical. But other than the customers I got most of my To Do Today List done. I have a couple of things to finish up tomorrow but they are little projects.

But now it is time to go and whitney is standing over me with this look that say.. Alright lets go! haha so I must leave you but i will write again soon.

The Quote of the Day:

Little Girl: " I'm interested in eating a cockroach."

Me: "Why?"

Little Girl: "Cause they taste fleshy!"

hahaha. I thought yall would enjoy that!

the worker,
Stephie

And Now Back to the Future.

2009-07-26T00:21:00.002-04:00

I am lying on the floor of the apartment.

I have been thinking a lot about the future lately. I blame the apt. They have all been talking about the future a lot in the past few weeks.

But what happens when i go to college? What happens when i leave this place? This place that i love so much. This place where painted birds and laughter surround my every move. A place were a guitar or a piano is a common sound that flows through my ears. This place were sitting on a red couch with a puppy in your lap is an every day occurrence. The place where the three most important girls in my life occupy its area. My sisters.

Its a sad thought i know. But really the probability of just Jess making it to my senior year or graduation without leaving is pretty slim. My bet is she leaves next summer. Not at all saying that I want it!! Good gosh, i think ill cry for a week! and I am so not joking about that at all! It might be longer.

Catherine...really I am clueless to what could happen within the next two years of her life. The phrase "God only knows." is really perfect for how i feel about Catherine's future. In two years she could be in Thailand...whoa! Talk about bitter-sweet! Catherine going to Thailand would be awesome but seriously...moving all the way across the world? But its in Gods perfect hands.

Whitney...yeah well. Heres what im thinking...whit meets a guy. Guy is perfect. They marry. and this all happens within a couple years. But when was it about what i was thinking? Again, God has a plan. But all i can say...Im gunna miss her, like unbelievably much!

But lets say, hypothetically of course, that they all make it to when I go to college. Saying goodbye to not only them but to everyone here. I am so ready for college but in that respect...i am SOO not ready!

Listen to me, i am going on about college when that is two years away. But in reality that is such a short amount of time. I want to treasure every moment i have with these girls. It could be a year before one of them leaves my life...maybe for quite a long time.

Today was awesome because I got to spend time with Catherine! Which lately has been kind of scattered! I am getting to help her out on something that I am very excited about!

Now i get to spend entire days with my sister because i work with her! For 8 hours a day for 4 days a week, i get to spend time with her! How exciting is that? Its perfect, let me just tell you!

And Jess. Well I have been able to spend a couple days with her pre-wedding and then i spent a couple days with her at the beach post wedding. But now I might see her for the next few days...but then!!! She leaves for like 2 weeks or so! I'll miss her like crazy...and she better be ready for some love texts [random texts that say I love you].

I need sleep.

Trusting in God's more that capable hands,
Stephie

Responsibilities of a Sixteenth Year Old Heart.

2009-07-23T13:29:00.004-04:00

Last year on my sixteenth birthday I got a card. In this card was a note from someone very special to me. Her name is Catherine Elizabeth Walker. This note started out with a little birthday poem. A silly poem written by the Dr. Cat Seuss herself. And then comes the good stuff. The stuff i could read over and over again just because i know that Catherine wrote it. But there was one thing that always stuck out to me. It was one sentence that stuck with me throughout the next 7 months.

" You're 16, which means more is going to be expected of you... :) "

I didn't know what she meant. I was very confused for a long time. But I think I just realized what she was talking about.

The last three weeks, or all of July, has been a whirlwind of new and "older people" things. It all started with my License. You know the "right of passage" of a 16 year old, whatever that means. Five days after that, I got a cell phone. Yet another acceptance technique for all teens...whatever. I just wanted to be able to communicate with my friends at any point in the day without having to ask someone else. Next...I got a job! Seriously! Stephanie Lauren Drummond got a job!

Skip to a week later...

I get my first pay check...which was quite nice i might add. Therefore I needed a bank account. So I went to the bank and set up my checking and savings account. So just think about it for a second...in my purse there are the following new items: Keys to all the various cars that the Drummond household owns joined with a key to the house and the apt, a plastic card that states i can drive aka a drivers license, a cell phone, and now a plastic card that allows money to flow from me to whatever I plan on buying with MY money! This is insane.

But I'm not done...

Today I got a text from my co-worker aka my sister. This text contained words that, formed together, made a question that asked if I wanted more days of work...or in my head...more time with the sis, Holly Aiken, Rey Rey, and more money to save for various expenses that are coming up! My answer...yes. So now I will be working 4 days a week for 8 hours a day...downtown, with my sister, and at Stitch!!! Seriously, is there a better first job for a 16 year old! ANDD... I will also be working on Saturdays throughout the school year! I am sooo excited!

But you know what...this still isnt what Catherine was talking about. Yes, all of these things are giving me more responsibility and tasks but that wasn't what she meant.

This next year I will be a Junior in High School. With that I will have a ton of school and theatre responsibilities, that at this moment i wont go into...mostly cause i don't want to think about them. And they have no meaning to what I am about to go into.

Being a Junior I am going to have curtain responsibilities pertaining to the Lord. Not like i don't have them every other year of my life. But I remember when I was a youngster coming into youth group. I remember looking up to those "juniors."... Katie, Anna, and John. I know how important it is that I am a good leader for them. I need to show them Christ in my actions. It might be the first time they get to see Christ in a teen...like them, but different. I want to show Christ to them! I want to lead them into the light.

So that might just be the tiniest bit of what Catherine meant but i cant wait to find out all the other things that are going to happen in the next 5 months of my 16 year old life.

Oh and I almost forgot to add the last part of what Catherine said after that sentence...

"But, I know and trust that you will not disappoint."

Thank you Catherine for an encouragement,
Stephie

Looking Ahead

2009-07-21T15:51:00.003-04:00

The School Year is only about a month away.

I can't even believe I typed that out on my own. I am dreading it. Ahh this just scares me!

Okay so I have like a couple days worth of AP Summer work that i must get done within this month but seriously...how?

God has already revealed to me that this year is going to be tough. He has already laid in my lap the vision of me crying myself to sleep at nights at the struggles of this year. It is my junior year and let me just list the things I will be participating in:

AP U.S. History...aka The Hardest AP Course in the Wakefield Curriculum. ( Year Long Course)
AP English 3 (Year Long Course)
AP Environmental Science
Honors Pre-Calculus
Stage Managing.
Theatre in general.
Tech for Church yr. 2
Working with Lifted and Remember Nhu AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE!
Graduation Project
Jess and the Band....which means helping out with them as much as possible.
Anything else Jess asks me to do...cause I can't say no to her and I never want to say no.
Work.
Raising money for Life 2010.
Raising money for a car.
College Decisions
Life in general.

Can I handle all of that?

The answer to that question is yes. You wanna know why i know how? Because I have faith that God will equip me with everything I need to get through this year. I'm not saying that i wont have hard times and rough patches but one thing that I must hold onto is that God will be right beside me. And I know that He will teach me so much.

My planner is going to be my best friend.

Prayers for this year are much appreciated!
Stephie

The Sister Type Bond.

2009-07-16T21:40:00.016-04:00

Today I watched something amazing.

Today I watched as two best friends clung onto the last few moments they had together. Even though really they have days, every moment is crucial. I had the privilege to watch as they did something that is very special to both of them; they made music together. They sat on the piano bench and just sang. They played songs that they had played for years. Songs that meant so much to each of them. Songs they had sung together since they were teenagers.

But this time there were tears. This time they had flashbacks to when they were teenagers and they were just learning to sing. The realizations that they had voices. The laughter filled nights that lead to the learning of that particular song. The Minki Moments.

I sat there and my mind went to the sisterly love they shared. I thought of all the moments i have seen them together. The different kind of laughter they share for only each other. The personalities that come out only when they are together. The voices that mesh together, just oh so perfectly. The tales of their teenhood days. I sat and wanted to cry with them. A friendship was being broken by 5 1/2 of land.

The rest of the day I thought mainly about that moment. That moment, that bond, between the best friends. As I thought and as I pondered on what the future was going to contain, I realized something.

People always say that a friendship bond cannot be broken by land or sea. Plainly, sometimes that is not true. Take it from someone who has moved. BUT, and this is a huge but, this friendship is different. This friendship is a sisterhood. And I hate how The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants has now cushioned the word Sisterhood. Because a sisterhood is literally a bond that, no matter what, can never be broken. And its kind of cheesy but it is legitimately how I see their relationship. They are no longer just friends, they became sisters a long time ago. I have watched them very closely, however creepy that sounds...its just the way I am...I am observant. But they are truly something special.

And as I read back over what i have written, I hate how commercial i sound. I sound like everyone else who tries to comfort a separation of friends. The same old lines " Yall are different." "Your bond REALLY can't be broken." I mean look at any going away card in Hallmark and you will see the same lines over and over again. I completely don't like that I cant think of anything more original. And personally when things change I absolutely HATE when people say, "Everything is going to be okay." I know that when they say that my thoughts are as follows: "Could yall just be quite because yall dont know what its gunna be like! What if its not okay? What if things change for the worst and not for the better?" But you know what I have learned from all of that...all I can do is trust God.

But anyway all I say is true. All I wrote is my feelings towards the matter. Which is assuming of me to think that I should even have feelings on the situation. But I love them both and I dont like to see them hurting.

So I hope that even for a moment I gave some comfort.

Jessie: I love you my darling. This post could have been a horrid thing for me to do or a great one...I am still undecided at the moment. Maybe you could help me with that...blink once if you didnt like this and blink twice if you did like it. Well on second thought, I wont see you when you do that sooo...bad idea. hehe. But the next time i see you, which will probably be at the wedding and you will be all pretty, I am going to give you a big hug. Just to give you a reference...Think hug after my baptism cause thats what im going for. love you.

Sorry to all Minkis and Apt Gals if I cropped you out of a picture.

love,

Stephie

Kate McRae - Bring the Body Together!

2009-07-13T11:22:00.005-04:00

Okay so there is this little girl, a brave little girl. Her name is Kate McRae. This little blond haired, blue eyed beauty has just recently discovered that she has a tumor on her tiny little brain. One of my sister's best friends is this little girls aunt. This situation is wearing on the hearts of this family. They are both physically and mentally tired. And all they ask for is prayer.

Everyone, we have a chance to pray together has the body of Christ. Whether you know this little girl named Kate or not. Whether you live in the west, east, south, north. We are the body of Christ. Let us come together to cry out to the Lord for miracle healing for this little girl and for strength for the family. Raise them up to God.

We have to come to God with a strong heart. Knowing that He can save, because He can. But it is up to Him to save. We must pray with firmness of heart.

Shelly Moore just posted this little girl's story on her blog this morning. I have decided to try to get it out to as many people as possible. So is guess i am trying to start a Blog Prayer Chain. So please if you read this, post her story on your blog. Keep it going. Inform the body of Christ. And also let this be a light to non-believers. Show them the firmness of our faith.

These are a few update videos that the family of Kate have posted on Youtube...also go to this link HERE for more information and consistent updates from the family.

Pray for Kate McRae

Pray for Kate McRae - Update Part II

This last video is a video of a song written by an artist out of Nashville for Kate.

Kate McRae - Little Light

Also the Video Bar on my page will now be holding all Kate Update videos.

Please Pray with me and the rest of the body,
Stephanie

Words from a Licensed Driver

2009-07-11T00:08:00.003-04:00

I got my license!

So tonight was my first time alone in a car...driving down the road! Whoa! I know!

I am serious...it was awesome!

Literally, I drove down Falls [a well known road where i live] and I had the windows rolled down and the sunroof open and the music was a full blast! It was fantastic! Then I drove and picked up my friend from her house and we went to our favorite fast food resturant...Zaxby's!! It was great! We just ate and just talked...just the two of us!

So when we got back into the car i noticed that I got a call from a friend! The voicemail went like this: "You got your license!!! Which means your life has changed FOREVER!!! WOOOO HOOOO!!...Im so excited for you!!!" I love her! That was perfect!

Then we headed to Starbies [starbucks] and met my brother there! Free Coffee...its the way to go!

Finally i had to take Hannah home and so I dropped her off at her house. and then headed for The Apt. As i drove there, I got a call from my sister! "Where are you?...Wait you are talking on the phone and driving!! Hang up! Now!" haha! So i got to The Apt and hung out there for a while and then the worst part of the whole night...9pm curfew instated by the state of NC for the first 6 months of my driving! But thats okay because it let me drive again...even if it did mean i had to leave the apt! But i'll see them later...probably tomorrow. haha.

So...perfect first driving-on-my-own experience! yay!

a licensed driver,
Stephie

Good night for Music

2009-07-09T20:22:00.003-04:00

This is a picture of my new place of work!

My Daddy is practicing.

I am sitting in my living room, it is dark. The only lights that pours in are the lights from the summer setting sun and the illuminating light from this computer screen. But my Daddy is pacing back and forth with the music blaring from the iHome and even louder his voice is thundering within the walls of the house tonight. He is practicing for this Sunday's worship service.

You see, if you dont know my family or my dad, my dad has a pretty impeccable voice! It is powerful and has a insanely incredible range. Which is exactly what I need right now because there are just a few things right now. Those being: I was supposed to get my license today but my grandmother came up for a surprise visit, tomorrow is looking unlikely because my mom has some dinner to get ready for...ugh...and I'm home. Which, pretty much, I would rather be at the apt...all the time.

BUT...I HAVE A JOB! My sister works at this purse designer Holly Aiken Bags! And now I got offered a part time job there also!! I get to work WITH my sister AT a bag designer! Its so awesome!!! Im so excited! I get money and i get to spend time with my sister! Yes! I like this idea!

Good week,
Stephie

Im Not at the Beach Syndrome

2009-07-07T17:56:00.004-04:00

Im sitting on my messy bed in the corner of my messy room. My skin is slightly darker than the last time I posted and my hair has turned a lighter shade of brown. My floor is covered with piles of "Clean Laundry," "Dirty Laundry," suitcases, sleeping bags, and make-shift sleeping arrangements. All very blatant clues that, together, spell out "I went to the beach."

Clues such as:

Bathing Suits strewn around the room in different piles, sunscreen hidden behind water-proof mascara on my dresser, shorts, cover-ups, and lots of T-shirts make up the rest of the items on the floor.

Yes, I went to the beach. Not just any beach... The Beach of all Beaches ... Beaufort, NC. Or if you really want to know of the beach there, it's Atlantic Beach. We spent the 4th of July weekend at a friend's beach house. A house that will always have a special place in my heart. Over the last two years that place has become a home away from home for me. And its not even my family's house. Well the owners are like family. There has just been so many great memories there for me... The Girls Weekend, The Cookout last summer, The Band Weekend, 2009 4th of July weekend.

This weekend we made memories like... Setting off illegal fireworks on a dock and not getting caught, John aiming a firework in the wrong direction [towards us!], Midnight fishing, Jet skiing with Jessie, Sand Dollar searching on Carrot Island, Finding out that Whitney can do the "Can-Can" haha, The 4th of July parade, floating in the sound with a kiddy pool, Gayle, Rheanna, "Oh Bah Gah I love it!", Sparkler writing, Gayle's Cookout, ...the list could go on forever.

But now we are back. Back to unpacking, messy rooms, and reality. My reality is that my summer life consists of watching movies all day, eating tons of junk food, and sometimes the pool. And I have come to terms with that. At first it was a bore but now i have grown accustomed to it and I do indeed enjoy it. But we will all be a little down for the next few days. Its called "Not being at the Beach Syndrome."

Things to look forward too:

License in 2 days
Heather's wedding in less than 2 weeks
Fun at the apt
Summer AP school work...hey i know im a nerd.
More beach [crossing my fingers]
Jessie's CD in 2 months
Everyone else's CDs
Possibly a trip to Boone...please.
Maybe Possibly by some chance if the stars align...and I ask...Coffee Date with Jessie.
Daryl coming home from Cambodia

Hmm i like those ideas.

Stephie

I Needed a Bit of The Good O'l Days

2009-07-01T14:22:00.002-04:00

Whitta and Jessie spent the night last night!

It was just like the old days. The old days being last year;

Jess has always spoken about how The House used to be their house. When they were teenagers the house to be at was the good home of the Rays. And then it changed. The kids grew up and people started to move away, go to school, and get adult lives. But we moved here, when everyone was moving in the opposite direction. Our house became the new "House." Our house was the house everyone stared hanging out at.

This is when we met Jess and Catherine.

They were cool and funny and put all of us together and you got a group that didn't stop having fun. Smiles were everywhere, laughter was constant and late nights were our signature. Somehow we always ended up back at our house. So many late nights started to occur that a rule had to be put into place:

After 1am Ray Rule:
Whatever house you are at when the clock strikes 1am, stay there!

After that rule the summer was literally spent with a continuous Sleepover Approved Bedroom. Which means that my room, our room then, always was stocked with blankets, pillows, and extra sleep wear for any of our 1am nights.

I loved it; I loved them.

But the rule of life states that their can never be one "house" your entire life. So by the end of the summer Whitney, Jessica, and Catherine were apartment searching.

The ultimate sleepover...getting a apartment together.

By the beginning of my sophomore year and the beginning of September they were moving out of my room and moving into the new place.

Before Last night both of them hadn't spent the night since my birthday and before that...the summer! And of course I spend most of my spare time at the new place... "The Apt" ... but i still miss my room being covered with makeshift beds and waking up with my mom cooking breakfast for us. We dont fall asleep anymore talking or messing with Jess by saying some weird word like "Peanut Butter" and then getting quiet like we are going to bed! haha. We dont fall asleep in each other arms while we play with each others hair or fit 4 in a bed. I just miss it sometimes.

But by saying that I must say that I am so blessed by having these amazing friends/sisters that I can spend my days and nights with. The Apt is my weekend home and I adore it. I want to thank each one of those girls for being fantastic.

Last night was a great dream, now back to reality,
Stephie

Returning to His Embrace.

2009-06-24T22:12:00.003-04:00

I havent written in a while.

To get some kind of inspiration to write I went back and read all of my 251 previous posts.

I want the passion that I had when I first started writing. And it wasnt a passion for writing it was a passion for gaining in the knowledge of Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior. It was at the end of every post praising and thanking God for yet another, sometimes tiny, blessing He had bestowed upon me. As I read these paragraphs, it is almost as if I feel like I am reading someone else's words.

At one point I wrote this:

"I want to shine for Him. Am i doing that? I want to be living solely for Him. Can people see that? In my everyday life i want to spread His joy. Do people notice that? Have the people in my past seen a change in me? Have I encouraged someone to walk in the Lord? There are people younger than me in my life, am i showing them Christ in my actions? Have I impacted someones life? Do i scream Be My Everything loud enough that people hear? These questions i ask myself because i want them all the to happen one day. If not today or tomorrow i want to accomplish them in my life time."

Now I truly wonder this! I think I have sunk into a pit of thinking that I am secure and that I don't need to DO anything. Yes I went through this life changing year, this past school year, but that gives me NOOO excuse to just sit around now and pretend that I am "doing." It actually means that I have a lot more work to do! There is a world that doesnt know their Savior! I am called to be a missionary...whether that is right here on North Carolina soil or if it is across the earth's surface.

During this time in this pit, lets just call it that, I was constantly being tempted by the devil with doubts and fears. But I shall state it right here and now that God is bigger and He is capible of tearing those doubts and fears away and He comforts his afflicted ones. [ 1 corinthinians 1: 3-7 ]

" 'I trust in You. I trust in You. I believe Your my healer. I believe your all i need. I believe...'

I know I have heard this song over and over again but really every time I listen to it gives me so much hope and adoration for this outrageously loving God. And even when I am in pain or i see someone I love in pain it brings be back to realizing I need to come back to Him and only Him because He is my healer, He is faithful, He is loving without limits, He is gracious, He is more than enough for me."

Praise God for He is Faithful!

Coming back to Him,
Stephie.

New Life Camp '09

2009-06-20T18:09:00.004-04:00

So camp.

Camp was awesome! I just don't know where to begin.

My cabin was awesome. All but one were my friends before camp and so that was just such a blessing. Not to mention my counselor was a girl who had gone to my youth group before she graduated. So it was great getting to know her more than I did before. It was so awesome.

But something that had the most impact to me was something that New Life Camp has on Tues. and Thursday night. It's called Campfire. Which, obviously, is a campfire but instead of just sitting around the campfire just hanging out you were allowed to go up to the microphone and tell your testimony or just something God has shown you the last few days or the past year. So many teens went up and shared.

On tuesday night during Campfire I sat there and listened to a number of people get up. I sat there and argued with God. I was just repeating "No God, I really dont want to get up. Please no. I dont want to. God please. No God. No." and then I felt myself standing and then walking to the stage. My heart was racing and my breathing was almost non-existent. I do not like public speaking. I mean I used to be much much worse but now I'm not even that good at it. But i was walking up in front of probably 200 people and I was going to talk. Huh, how was this gunna go? I walked up the steps and then i said "Hi everyone, my name is Stephanie and I'm from the Courage." And then words just flowed from my mouth. And I am so glad that I went up there. Just to let that go from inside of me was insanely freeing.

There are so many things I wish to share about camp but I would much rather explain them in person.

So if you know me please ask about it I will definitely have much to tell.

Stephie

Goodbye for Now

2009-06-13T22:26:00.003-04:00

Last post for a while...a while being a week.
Im heading off to camp in about 16 hours. Im gunna go to church, say goodbye, change and leave.

I'll miss everyone. Have a good week Blogger people, whoever you are.

G'night
Stephie

Thoughts While Packing.

2009-06-13T18:13:00.004-04:00

I am sitting in my bedroom packing and listening to Patty Griffin Radio on Pandora. My left over Papa John's Pizza and empty Coke can are sitting next to me. Im just sitting and thinking.

I dont exactly know what I am thinking at this moment. I go to camp in less than 24 hours. I'm not excited but I'm not dreading it either. But I am going to miss everyone. I mean, NO communication between me and anyone outside of those woods. That means NO talking to Whitney, NO talking to family, NO talking to Jess, I would say NO talking to Catherine but she is coming one night yay =], NO talking to Indie...which is pretty big guys!, NO talking to Bryant on our continuing messages back and forth, NO talking to Katie at late hours of the night!! All of which saddens me, except for Cat coming for a visit!

And if you knew me, you would know that when you thought of me...camp would not be the first thought; at all. I mean I'm not one of those ditzy girls that only cares about their apperance or chipping a nail but I am just not what you call sporty. [although i just bought new shorts that could trick someone into believing I am!] But a couple, well several of my friends are going and we are all going to be in the same cabin [if all worked out] and we will have a blast together, i just know it. The idea of camp never excited me...but with them I think it could be great!

I know I will have fun...i just have to get there first!

Thanking Jess for this lovely night of music for my packing adventures,
Stephie

The Liar with a Smile.

2009-06-13T01:23:00.004-04:00

I just lied.

But it wasnt just a simple stupid lie like "I have a pair of lucky jeans." It was a lie that I despised and hated the words...actually word that came out of my mouth as I spoke it. It was because I lied to a person that I never lie to. I tell her everything and I hold nothing back from her. She is my mentor and I have no reason to lie to her. But I lied straight to her face, with a smile. So the minutes following the lie...7 minutes to be exact... I just loathed myself and my stupid tongue for spitting out that insane lie. Even though this lie is common and is spoken from a person's mouth at least once a week, probably more. I hated it, I couldn't stand it! So I called her. Believe me, every moment that the phone rang I wanted to hang up, I wanted her not to answer, and I wanted to have never pressed "Send." But I had to do it and I knew that.

And then she said "Hello."

We talked for about 30 minutes...me sitting on my back porch, crying and her probably in her apartment parking lot being all controlled and stable. It was exactly what I needed.

I wish I could write more about it...just because I like writing about things in my life, but...

that would mean I would be telling this world called the Internet about things that it is really none of their business. And I really dont mean that in an offensive way, but i just mean literally it is none of their business.
This time I have and the talks I have with this one person...i do not share. They are things between the two of us and God.
I feel as if I cannot write very much on here anymore. Not pertaining to my personal life and my "feelings" i guess. There are now too many people that read this blog for that. I started this as a way to write and express me and my thoughts by writing, but now I cannot fully express because I am not that open of a person and some things just shouldnt be shared with all.

Crying makes me exhausted! Maybe I'll get to talk to this person soon...yeah schedules are probably going to reject that idea, but a girl can hope.

Tomorrow I'll write about why she was here in the first place,
Stephie

His Plans are Better

2009-06-12T11:11:00.003-04:00

Im a Junior.

This is the summer before my junior year of high school AND I have already been asked THE Question of the Year.

"So do you know where you are going to college?" OR "Where do you want to go to college?"

At the beginning of the year I had a folder that was labeled "Steph's College/Degree Choices" I was so ready...so planned. I had everything in order.

I wanted to work with tech.
I wanted to go to college and major in one of three choices [in which all had to do with tech.]
I wanted to travel around the country or the world with a band or with a youth conference.

Seriously...I had everything worked out.

But God decided He would remind me that He is in control. After planning and making sure I did everything i could possibly do to obtain more and more experience and knowledge, I now am completely unsure of where my life is headed. And yes that scares the poop out of me! But I have to trust. He is better and better are His plans.

So I actively wait.

This could so turn into a 5 topic post because there are so many things that are passing through my brain right now...but I'll wait for those.

Sitting in the apt, listening to Lauren McCuistion's voice and just relaxing.
Stephie

Poetry at Early Morning Hours

2009-06-11T01:31:00.002-04:00

I was watching a movie in which the two main characters hold hands in one scene and it was beautiful. It made me long to write about it...how nerdy am I?

The touch of his hand.
So simple and soft.
A touch, something that should be worth nothing.
For my hand to be held within the grasp of his.
Such a feeling I have never felt,
But oh how I long for the moment of touch.
It is at that moment when caring and feelings are passed between one to another
A moment of happiness that is shared and pulses through connection between fingers and palms.
A simple touch that should be worth nothing,
But feels like so much.

Just a bit of silliness really...but i hope you enjoyed it.
Stephie

Summery Porch Loveliness

2009-06-10T23:33:00.003-04:00

I find that my favorite thing about summer is sitting outside on my porch till the early morning hours.

Seriously there is just something about the combination of my porch, the night sky, the summer air, usually a coke/coffee, computer, and the late night. It makes me super happy. Especially when I have had a great day to just ponder over. Such as today. It started off with me waking up at 12:30pm...first day of summer and I am already solid at the sleeping technique! Then I went shopping for camp and then to a friends church!

Now the church thing needs a paragraph...So I went to this bible study and I met up with my friend Sarah and then with Bryant! Bryant brought his sisters along which was awesome because I havent seen them in YEARS! It was great! Lauren and Morgan were both joys to be around. We had such a good time bowling together after the bible study and then going to Starbucks after that! Oh man I hope i get to hang with them more often! And I dont want them to leave in a couple weeks! =[ But its okay, Lauren and I are going to write each other! That will be super fun!

Well I am going to continue to sit and relish this summer night!
Stephie.

All Honor, All Glory, All Power Belongs to You

2009-06-10T01:15:00.003-04:00

Wow I dont even know what just happened, but God just put words into my lips.
Praise God. Thats all I can say right now!

Stephie

O boitshepo

2009-06-09T22:56:00.003-04:00

Lightning is striking fiercely throughout the skies tonight. The winds blow between the leaves of the trees making their voices cry out in their soft praises. The trees are bowing towards the ground in worship. The elements of the storm cry out to God..."Oh glorious God, YOU ARE WORTHY!"

"We cry holy holy holy,
we cry holy holy holy
We cry holy holy holy is the Lamb."

We cry worthy worthy worthy,
Oh we cry worthy worthy worthy.
We cry worthy worthy worthy is the Lamb

Lord as the rain hits the earth with praise and the thunder yells with adoration I too want that passion. I want the passion of the storms! How amazing is that!

"Re o bama
Re i koba
Naong tsa go Jesu

Lo lorato
Le legolo
Naong tsa go Jesu

O boitshepo, boitshepo
O boitshepo, boitshepo
O boitshepo, boitshepo
O kwana"

That is We Fall Down in the Setswana language. I just heard Chris Tomlin sing this song in Setwana and I listened to it so many times that I can now sing it in Setswana!

Now I sing out with the rain, thunder, lightning, trees, and leaves. I sing not only in the English language...a language that everyone thinks is the superior language, whatever!...but also in an African language.

There are sooo many ways to praise God! There are so many languages to praise God! Praise God with everything you have!

Going to go to sleep to the sound of the Earth praising,
Stephie

Welcome to my Home Summer!

2009-06-09T06:43:00.003-04:00

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL, LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!
I feel like Nemo but instead of screaming "First day of school" I'm screaming last day of school!

Oh man, it's here! 3 1/2 hours of class left and I am uber excited about it! I am now listening to John Mayer, there is just something about him that makes me think Summer. I have a tank top, rustic jeans [or just jeans with holes in them], and flip-flops. I am a bit tan, enough to have a tan line on my chest and even my finger has a tan from my ring. Yesterday I spent the entire day with the girls...which included the birthday girl, Sambird....at the pool. We just hung out, tanned, got wet, laughed, had a picnic...oh the fun, oh summer!

In my bag that I have packed for school today I have included such essencials as... a fully charged camera, a fully charged iPod, paper for doodles, water, and a little snack. I mean, I am going to be in a classroom for 3 hours; I am not going to be using that entire time for my English Exam. And Abbey is going to be with me! Ahh. I love this day!

Alrighty I need to be off.

-Smily Summery Stephie

Moonlight Prayers.

2009-06-08T22:18:00.004-04:00

I am looking at the moon, admiring its curve and the yellow glow that surrounds it's exterior. The past few days I have been thinking...[ I know...WHOA Steph is thinking!] I have been thinking about what or who I feel like I am dependent on.

De-pend-ent
-adjective Relying on Someone or something else for aid, support, etc...

That is the formal definition of Dependent, as of Dictionary.com. I depend too much on people. Too much on Whit, Jess, and Cat. I will admit to it. My sister is my best friend, Jess is my mentor, Cat is an unbelievable friend and someone that I look up to for guidance. They are all my friends...I laugh with them, I do silly things with them, I sit up at 12am watching movies with them, I lie in bed on the weekends and listen to them as I doze off myself. But then sometimes I look up to them too much. I find that they consume my thoughts. When what my thoughts should be focused on is Christ and His name being proclaimed through my actions and not what "the girls" will like or whatever. Each one of them are amazing...but that is because they have Christ in their lives. If Whit didnt have Christ...well lets just not talk about that, If Cat didn't have Christ...wow I can imagine her probably being a horrendously mean person, If Jess didn't know Christ...her fiery Ray temper would definitely get the best of her. Their best qualities are brought out by Christ Himself shining His light through them.

But instead of leaning on the Lord I go straight to them and their human flesh something that I relate to. I want for Jess to see when I need to talk to her because I just don't have the guts to ask. I want Catherine to look into my eyes and see that things arent okay. And I want Whitney not to look through me because I dont want her to see that Im weak. But the thing is...im dumb. They are human...and even though they are awesome and amazing; they are human. I am human. I cannot be dependent on things and people...God is the only dependable thing. Oh how I forget this and I am sure to forget again. But I can come back to Him!!!! He will open His arms and say to me "My silly daughter, come and I will help."

Oh just imagine being able to run into His open arms!! AHHHH It is unfathomable. But it just sounds so great! Imagine the most amazing hug you have ever been held in and multiply that by a number you can't even pronounce that ends in -illion.

My prayers are strong; May I look to You more than them. Let them guide me to You but may my heart be focused on You alone and not what they say!

Praying by the light of the moon,
Stephie

Live at 6:20am from the Drummond Basement.

2009-06-08T06:14:00.002-04:00

The real reason I am up this early is to study for a french exam...haha. If yall know me, yall know that I cannot study...meaning it is physically impossible for me study material. So instead, why not update you blogger people on my life for the past few days.

So the weekend was great!

Friday night...Nates Grad Party and then getting in trouble for being on a playground at 12am...yep.

Saturday night...Bonfire at Abbey's and then back to my house for a drive in movie, Drummond Household style for Sambird's birthday! We watched the movie Hook and ate things such as homemade Funnel Cakes. It was fantastic.

But now I have to figure a few things out...things that arent clicking in my head and things that I just need to work out with God. Usually I would ask for help on this type of thing but thats not going to happen this week. I just can't ask this week and its not that I just dont want to its something more than that. And Im not even sure of the situation either so I can't explain it.

My brain works like an equation...

a + b = c

Some things are harder equations and some are easy. But my brain works in a way so that I am always trying to figure something out. But sometimes there are missing variables and confusing conclusions. Right now there are about 20 different equations going on within my mind but two are dominating my thoughts because these two I am struggling on, these two i just want to fix but I am missing variables.

And I am too much of an observant person!! I have trained myself over the years to practically be paranoid...I mean I dont like freak out or anything but I have trained myself to notice everything! So now I see when something is up or something is wrong but sometimes I just can't help because it isnt my place. Im such of a hands on helper. I want to be right there next to the problem of next to the person that is struggling, I want to help. But then its not my place.

Wow...im just ranting at 6:40am and now i have to go take a French II Exam. Then to the pool with Whitta. =]

Laying it all at the Father's feet,
Stephie

Kayla

2009-06-05T13:19:00.002-04:00

Im Sooooooooooooo sorrryyyy!!!

You know I love you soo much!!!

Forgive me?

-Stephie

Can I be a Bird?

2009-06-03T15:37:00.004-04:00

IM DONE WITH CLASSES!!! YAY!

Today was surprisingly awesome!

It started off by paying off fines in the library...seriously if you check out more than 3 books you should get more than 2 weeks to read them! But anyway, that was sort of a closing or a capping of the year. I was done! I have turned in all but one of my textbooks for my classes [one French II book to go]

I went to first period, Civics, took a practice EOC and longed to be the bird that was perched outside of the window I sit next to. She sang so beautifully and was just so happy to be bathing in the morning sunlight. And when she flew the breeze lifted her up so she could she world around her; she just was so content. And then the bell rang, the robotic-lab-rat signal to go to your next class.

I went to second period, Creative Writing II, and finished up watching a movie that was just not my cup of tea but it was a movie. When that concluded we had the option of writing an advertisement or just clean her room...we chose to clean her room haha. And then a signal that brought happiness to almost everyone...the fire alarm! =] We filed out of our classes, all 3,000 of us, and broke through the barriers of the Learning Prison and out into the bright sun and the open air. And for 8 mins laughter and talking was allowed and encouraged because we were almost half way through our day and we were outside!!

I went to third period, French II. Don't be fooled by the roman numeral 2, i dont know French. We are just going to skip this class and continue on until we get to lunch.

I went to lunch with 4 of the coolest high school girls i know! We laughed and talked and just had a great last lunch together! I even bought them braclets from Remember Nhu and Lifted Events.
So now we all have bracelets to remember our best lunch semester ever! And Abbey and I have the funnest times! I mean when we are together alone...we just can't stop laughing! Standing in line in the cafeteria to get cookies...wow we just have the funniest moments! haha.

I went to fourth period, English, with Abbey! We entered the walls of the room and expected to be bored by the endless amounts of review we had ahead of us. But then we remembered! Our class had all gone in together and bought our teacher an ice cream cake that said " We Will Miss You Mrs. Howson!" Which in actuality her name is Ms. Bryan but she is getting married in July and that is what her name will be. So our class decided she needed to get used to her name being Mrs. Howson so we have called her that for the last two weeks! haha. But anyway, when she saw the cake she started to cry and just fumbled out thank yous and how this was the nicest thing any of her students have ever done for her. And then she said what ever student longs for their teacher to say everyday "How about we just eat cake and watch a movie, huh?"!!!! I really am gunna miss her...i dont like that she is moving to New Jersey! I say her fiance should move down here! Well anyway, Abbey and I got to watch Troy while eating Ice Cream Cake and cookies while continually laughing and random things like how i feel out of my chair or how we hate watching people making out on film! haha. We had a great day!

Then I went out the doors and into the sunny Wednesday and away from the full days of school! Woo Hoo. Now all i have are exam and I never worry about exams just because i feel like if i stress then it will just end badly. I would much rather just be mad at myself later when i find out my final grades.

And now i am watching a video of Jess singing and then at the end of this video Jess yells "You're recording this!!" haha unfortunately this video is for my personal viewing only or i shall suffer the consequences of a Ray...which i dont like the thought of that! haha.

So overall great day! Now i just have to get through the next 2 and a half hours until cell group and then i have to get through those hours without doing anything stupid, like crying.

Stephie

I'm Falling.

2009-06-02T22:27:00.002-04:00

I just need to hold on.

God lend out Your hand so I may grasp hold of it!

Stephanie

Happy New Music List for Sambird

2009-06-01T23:11:00.002-04:00

All the new albums coming out in the next year!

Imogen Heap
John Mayer
Eisley
Hillsong
The Weepies
Paramore
Brooke Fraser
Jessica Lyndon Ray
Michael Alvarado
Samantha Whitfield EP [Hopefully, Maybe...Please!]

And I feel like Im missing someone...if so please tell me!
Stephie

Weepie Happiness

2009-06-01T22:06:00.004-04:00

Tonight I decided to put The Weepies on.

I just feel like they are so summery! AND they are working on their next album which makes me so happy! I just love listening to them on a hot day with the windows open! It just makes me happy!

So im going to continue to listen to The Weepies and be happy that I only have 2 more full days of school left! yay!

Happy Stephie

The Thoughts in the Mornng Hours

2009-06-01T06:29:00.004-04:00

I have been blessed.

God has blessed me with so many things in my life. Amazing people, awesome memories, and a continuing life for Him.

It is morning now, only 6:30am. I got ready unusually fast this morning so I decided to get on the computer and check a few things. Then I started looking through my pictures. There were so many things I have done in the past year or so. From meeting new people that have become family to becoming a stage manager, to getting baptized [!], to going to the beach with a band and taking pictures...500 to be exact haha. Each one of those memories are fantastic! Jess and Catherine have become not only sisters to myself and my sister but also daughters to my parents. Being a stage manager was a spectacular experience, whether i want to continue it or not. Wow, the moments leading up towards my baptism were amazing! From just the moments during youth group the months before to standing in the water with my youth pastor crying my eyes out and proclaiming His name on my life. Oh the band, what can i say about the band? I adore "the band" haha i just realized that i just kept saying "the band" which in actuality is Jessica Lyndon Ray. But that weekend was amazing. That band has such a big place in my heart. I adore helping them out with anything and everything they need! That weekend was fantastic. They just played and practiced together while i just took so many pictures and video. But you wanna know my favorite part? Those nights when Jess and I would go to bed. Haha. Because then it was just us and we laid in the bed, at the beach, and just talked. I remember falling asleep with a smile on my face those nights.

Do you know what i just remembered? I got shoved my Carly Brown last night! I didnt know she could shove! haha. That was a funny!

But now i have to go... school starts in about 30 min haha.
Stephie

A Youth Group with Eyes for Christ's Plans

2009-05-31T22:18:00.007-04:00

Tonight was great!

Youth Group was fantastic. I mean some things were just off but the rest of it was just great!

Dan spoke of the power of the name of Christ Jesus. He spoke of salvation that MUST only be given my one name. He spoke of Peter and John and their defiance against the temple. He spoke of the priests and teachers of the law even noted that Peter and John, two ordinary men that had no schooling, they spoke with words of courage and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. He spoke on how we shouldn't care of what they, he, she thinks and just preach. We need to be disciples whether that means right here in Raleigh or in a country across the seas. God spoke to us through the mouth of Daniel Seaman tonight. It was fantastic!

It completely spoke to my heart tonight. I have been hesitant and scared to say that I think I am being called to missions. The thing is that everyone is called to missions but some are called to go to distant and foreign land and some are called to the homeland. I will continue to actively wait on which of those God calls me to.

Later That Night...

After Youth Group ended the Senior Highers came over to my house for the final M.A.S.H. [Meet At Some one's House...creative right?] of the year. This is basically when we go to some one's house and they have food and we just hang out and have a good time and rejoicing in the blessings of Jesus Christ. So tonight was the Drummond Family's turn...which was awesome! My dad cooked brick-grilled Cuban sandwiches and we had chips and cupcakes and candy...and lots of soft-drinks. So after the race between Nate, Bizz, and Anna to get to my house...i rode in Nate's car [ the cool car...as he puts it] we all met at my house and just started having a good time. The boys watched sports and played pool and the girls all sat in my room and talked and had a great time. In the girl room we laughed about silly things and talked about even sillier topics. But there was one thing we decided to do while we were down there alone. I had sent out a message to all of the girls just asking them to pray for a friend of ours that is in the midst of making an album, Jessica Lyndon Ray. She was in Texas this past weekend recording the final part...vocals. Now its the final stretch...getting it all put together into one single album. So my friend Rachel and I were talking about it and so we thought we should get all the girls together and pray for Jess and the Band. So while all the girls and I were in my room we got into a circle, held hands, and prayed for the band. It was great. I love that our youth group is so close and centered around God that we do that kind of stuff you know? It was awesome!

Come to find out later that our Youth Pastor, Dan, he came in and we were praying! haha. He went back out into our basement and he laughed and said, " They are either praying or they have a Ouija Board in there. Lets hope its the first!" haha He would make that joke. I love my youth pastor!

But now i have to go get some sleep...LAST THREE FULL DAYS THIS WEEK! And then we have 4 half days but still.

Goodnight Bloggy People,
Stephie

Late Night Training for Summer

2009-05-30T18:27:00.003-04:00

Today I slept in.

I slept in til about 12pm. It was so great! And I needed it. Last night i was up until like 3:30am talking to a friend about Christ and it was so great! We talked for hours and got so pumped up about the calls on our lives and how much we want Christ to reign in teens lives as well as others but...can you imagine a world were all the teenagers were consumed by Christ? We talked about how we LONG for Christ's return. And it wasnt like we were just talking about, we were getting excited about!!! It was a great.

And now i am going to get Katie and we are going to have a spend-the-nightie! Yipper Skipper!

Yay,

Stephie

I Prefere Talking in the Dark

2009-05-29T22:23:00.002-04:00

Last night I talked to God.

Last night I finished my routine of getting ready for bed. You know, jewlry off, pjs on, teeth brushed, music on, bedside truck light on, overhead light off, bed= comfy...the drill. But last night when i set my alarm and turned off the light bedside me I just started talking to God. I mean it wasn't like God was physically sitting next to me and we are chatting but i just laid there in my bed and, out loud, i talked...i prayed. I prayed for all of the people that popped into my head, Jess & John in Texas, Sambird & her summer college stuff, Cat & Whit in Atlanta, Katie...for her life, the youth group girls...for their motivation. I just needed to talk to God. To tell Him that i needed help to be patient, i have had some trouble with that lately. I need direction. And in His time all of my prayers will be answered.

Oo man, its amazing how many new prayer requests can come up in a day...
-Bryant and his famiy in New York
-My decision between a wedding or a camp
-My friend's heart to be focused on God and nothing more
-More patience.
-Monday to come sooner.
-Jess & John to get 7 songs done within these 2 more days!
-My friend coming to Christ
- Nancy & Will...i dont know why I just want to pray for them and their life they share together.

I'll add those tonight...yay now i look forward to going to bed! Woo Hoo.

hehe.
Stephie

The Conversations of a Teenage Lunch Table

2009-05-29T16:39:00.003-04:00

At lunch today, the four girls that i sit with and myself got into a conversation about God and how evolution cannot be fact.

It was a very interesting conversation that i wish could have gone on for hours. The one girl that isn't a Christian even agreed with everything we said and contributed a lot to the conversation.

But one thing got to me...

My friend and I left lunch and walked up to our class and were talking about Jesus' second coming. I felt as if she was kinda hesitant the entire conversation. She tried to backtrack on whatever i said. Like for instance..."I don't want to say that all religions are wrong." WHAT? How can you believe that God is supreme and not say that all other religions are wrong?? I really wanted to get into that but then she changed the subject....bah. Then I said to her as the conversation was kinda ending that I would be so glad if Jesus came back at that moment and she just smiled. Then she replied " But I wanna have kids and a husband; i want a life first...you know?" and i would have responded but again we got interrupted but this time by our teacher.

Her faith is almost superficial...she wants her own life and then Christ to come after that. Which makes me really sad because I love her.

God consume her.

praying for my friend,
Stephie

Caution: Backing Up

2009-05-28T16:59:00.002-04:00

Okay can we take a step backward?

I need to prioritize my life because right now it is not completely about Christ and His name. Its been all about me and what Im going to do to find His will for me...um no. I should be actively waiting for Him to reveal to me what He wants for my life. I was trying to control the situation, big surprise.

So im gunna step back and let Him be God and rule.

and regret a message I sent. urga.
Stephie

A Day that Could Easily be Forgotten.

2009-05-27T23:29:00.003-04:00

So today wasnt the best of days.

School was wretched. I mean I almost got written up...which for those who dont know means I get detention. Can anyone see Stephanie Drummond at detention? and on a different occasion today I got in an argument with my teacher about Christianity. It was just a bad day.

Then got home and Indie greeted me, that was a plus.

Then I went to Starbies with the girls from church and that was a blast! I deeply adore them.

While there I got a call from my sister, who went to the Hillsong America Conference! She was at the conference and held out the phone so I could hear Brooke Fraser sing Desert Song. And then the song that directly followed it was a song called Oh You Bring which is my favorite new song from their new album! I so wanted to be there! I mean seriously why did it have to be on a weeknight on the second to last week of school? When i was listening to them play it almost made me want to cry because here i was having a pretty bad day in general and then my sister and friends are in a place getting soaking wet and praising God with Hillsong.

Christ I need you to come and flatten me. Please. I am just blindly walking and I need you to come and renovate my thoughts and my heart. Focus me on You.

Sleep is sounding fabulous right now,
Stephie

A Present to All Moms in Wakefield

2009-05-27T16:37:00.004-04:00

Okay so i just got back from going to the brand new Harris Teeter in Wakefield...i mean it opened today!

It was a party in there! haha.

You walk in and there is music playing and there are samples of EVERYTHING!

It was craziness! Moms were everywhere! And they all looked like they were on a mission, but a happy mission! It was quite funny!

But my favorite part of this equation...REDBOX two seconds from my house! Yes! This could be really good or really bad haha! yay.

Already my day is looking up; maybe a nap next.
Stephie

Hoping for a better night.

2009-05-27T14:47:00.003-04:00

Bah!

Today was not good! It was lame! It was bah!! It was soo long and so annoying!

I only have 7 days until my first exam! Why do teachers insist on cramming information in before that! Urgaaa.

My first period complaints: Notes, notes and more notes.... we have a test friday!
My Second period complaints: There are only 6 students in the class since more than half were seniors and seniors are gone now...we are stuck completing our fantasy story! Draft due tomorrow.
My Third period complaints: Oh just the usual...not enough work. I finished everything in the first 30 mins.
My Fourth period complaints: Oooo i just had the worst fourth period! We had a class discussion of a completely boring book for the ENTIRE class...1 hour and 45 mins! During this time my teacher continued to compare Christians to Nazis! Seriously?

All i have to say is that i am so thankful that the cell group girls are meeting tonight. If we werent this would have seriously been a depressing day!

Heres to Indie for brightening my day!
Stephie

Summer, Im so glad you are coming home!

2009-05-26T15:07:00.003-04:00

Hello blogger people.

So I just completed 1 out of my 7 full days of school left. That means I have 6 more to go. Then I have to complete 4 exams, which in terms of days that is 4 half days.

Exam days make me feel like im in college for those three hours. You go into your classroom you sit down, your teacher gives you your exam, you take the exam, teacher declares the testing period is over and then walk out the doors of the school and you are done with that class forever. Especially 4th period exam because after that you walk out those doors and you are through for the entire summer! My smile is endless when i walk out those doors.

My Summer Happy List:

Having money from selling my rings at Stitch and Holly Aiken Bags! Yay
Camp with Daryl, HG and many many more!
Going to hang out in Catherine's classroom!
Jessica Lyndon Ray's CD Release!! ahhh i truly cant wait!
NRC Youth's Summer Wednesdays
The Apt...ALL the time! First summer at the apt! I'm lovin' this idea
The Beach! Hopefully with Jessie again! That was just a blast!
Lifted events and planning
HOT Weather!
Hopefully going to visit Sambird!
Sleeping in! ahh i miss that!
Summer Reading List...that will come soon! [preview: Reading the entire Bible! im so excited]
First summer with Indie pup!
Hanging with Abbey!
DRIVERS LICENSE!!! yipper skipper! Do you know how much i will love that?!
Reading books/Writing on the lawn at the seminary.
Reading/Writing at the coffee house in Wake Forest
Maybe more Coffee Days with Jess ;)
Barnes and Noble nights with Whitta!
Heather's Wedding!
Shopping for a dress for Heather's Wedding!
New music...Hillsong, Eisley, etc...
AP Summer Homework...not the funnest thing in the world but hey.
Summer Thunderstorms at night
Hopefully Spend-the-Nighties at my house...doubt it but a girl can hope.
Going/helping out at Jess's gigs! I am so excited about this one!!!!
Star Gazing Nights
The Renewal of The Clue Nights
Zaxby's club Meetings hehe
More Battleship touraments...one of these days I will win and not have to listen to Jess say "its alright, maybe next time. But I might be too good for you." haha

And im sure there will be more but for now...im pretty content with that.
Stephie

World War III

2009-05-24T22:01:00.004-04:00

WOOO HOOO

And who thought WWIII would be bad???

Okay so background...

Family Reunion= Aunts came into town =] and they brought gifts hehe
Water Balloons!
Night
Face Paint
Sibling Rivalry.

It was awesome! We had soo much fun! and now we have extras sooo....water balloon fight anyone??? Youth group wide maybe?? Friend's Summer Kick-Off?? What do yall think?

Woo hoo...im just pumped!
Stephie

Hmm...I approve of Friday May 22th, 2009

2009-05-22T15:28:00.006-04:00

I find that i crave three things after i go on a run.

Ice water...mmm.
A BIG salad!
A shower! yay.

So i just went on a run...second this week. I think im gunna make it a regular occurrence this Summer. I like that idea.

Today has been a good day! Monopoly in first period, laughed so hard at lunch my abs hurt for a while after that, I sat next to Abbey in English and had fun with the Substitute that believed in Aliens, i just went on a run, HG is coming over tonight, and its a beautiful day and not to mention a Friday. yay!

To Do List:

Shower...mmm
Clean Shower.
Put up clean laundry
Write Post Card to Sambird and get it ready to be mailed...with a CD =]
Vacuum that spot on my carpet that I accidentally got grassy.
Do some homework [ I have a lot and not a lot of time this weekend ]
Re-Color coordinate my closet...there is a bright green shirt in the middle of the black section.
Check out the Movies on Demand to see what HG and I can watch tonight.

Seems productive enough for today.

lalalalalala,

Stephie

The First Time I Wrote a First Time Post.

2009-05-21T18:11:00.003-04:00

I feel like I need a happy post!

Tonight I have the entire upstairs to myself. I have a Macbook on my lap and I am listening to a channel on my TV that is called Adult Alternative and basically all its playing is music! I love it! The last two songs have been by M. Ward and Counting Crows [ the old stuff ].

Ooo on the Pop Hits channel...Life in Technicolor II by Coldplay is playing! I am loving these music channels.

Wow!! I just changed it to the Kidz Only channel haha. Candy by Mandy Moore is playing! haha. and now it just changed to S Club 7! haha I totally had their album!

Oh but this channel wins the award!! Toddler Tunes...the song is called Imagination and there is this lady talking in the middle of the song...we are just gunna leave it at that!

And Christian Contemporary, i wish you were better! Hey JRay can you fix that?

Sweet! 90s Hits are making me happy, No Doubt is playing there old stuff!

Well anyway i hope you liked my journey through the world of Cable Music. I have 18 days left until I am finally on Summer Break, 8 school days until finals, 4 day week next week, 3 full days after that. I have aunts coming this weekend. I have an unbelievably boring weekend next weekend [the apt is gone]. I am hosting a Sr. High M.A.S.H. next Sunday. Im going to work at Holly Aiken making rings for her! I have camp in less than a month! I have Heather's wedding in a little less than 2 months.

WHOA PAUSE! 90's channel is now playing R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" yay!! SPACE JAM! That was The Movie! I want to watch it right now!

Okay back to what i was saying before that lovely interruption. Okay hold on again, so i just changed the channel to Kidz Only [ cause you know Im a kid right] and Miley Cyrus is playing and usually I would change it immediately but honestly I kinda like this song. Its her new one called The Climb and it is from her new movie. I mean it doesnt sound that much like her and thats why I like it.

Okay now back to me actually blogging. I am so close to being done with my Sophomore year of high school. It was actually an incredibly fast year. The memories collected are endless. So many firsts. The first time spending the night at the apt, the first time sleeping everyday in a class, the first time stage managing a show on my own and not getting the right credit for it, the first time WiSH cooked for the apt, the first time Jess picked me up from school, the first time i got to see the inauguration of the first black president because it was a snow day, the first time i turned 16, the first time i have been to a film festival, the first time I got baptized!, the first time I had ever called Jess on my own free will [im not a phone person], the first time I photographed a band, the first time i dyed someone's hair red, the first time I used a good camera [jess's], the first time I saw Michael Alvarado play, the first time i had the girls sing Happy Birthday to me, the first time I had a Jane Austen marathon, the first time I went to a New Years Eve party at the apt, the first time I had ever eaten a Coca-Cola Hot Dog [thank you Daniel Faucette], the first time Sambird and I hung out alone after school one day, the first time i had a snow day with the girls, the first time have gotten asked out by two different guys on facebook and said no to both [creepers from school], the first time i have done photography for a basketball game, the first time I had taken a road trip for a day at the beach with the girls, the first time I helped out at a Project Concert, the first time i have heard Jess and the band play at Jack Sprat, the first time i have gotten into a 18 or older bar for a show, the first time i heard of Remember Nhu, the first time i made bracelets that said NHU on them, the first time I worked with a organization called Remember Nhu, the first time I went on stage during an event to set up a mic and carry off a guitar, the first time i helped with a Lifted event, the first time i worked on a musical, the first time i worked with a professional broadway lighting designer, the first time i did tech for youth group.

Yes...I'd say a pretty great year. Dont you think so?

Stephie

Mr. Change, You come too fast.

2009-05-20T22:48:00.004-04:00

I dont like change.

I find that change scares me. If i were to tell you my number one fear it would be change or something related to change. Like for instance I am terrified the ones i love leaving or myself leaving the ones i love.

I miss things a lot.
I am a very sentimental person and I dont really like saying that cause it makes me feel weak. But I am. I love keeping little things from the past so I can look back and remember. One reason I started this was because I wanted to remember everything and i knew i would write everything down here. I just read my first few blog posts today and wow i miss those days. When my room was ours. When I awoke to many girls in my room and I remember just sitting there and smileing and just thanking God for giving them to me. When nights were endless because we used to stay awake just trying to get to know each other even better. I miss those days.

To be completely honest...I'm afraid that Jess is going to leave and miss me graduating and miss the rest of my life. I'm afriad that Cat's gunna to leave and work with Lifted and Remember Nhu and I'll see her periodically. I'm afraid that Whit's not going to stay in Raleigh for her entire life. I'm afraid that I'm gunna leave Whitney. I'm afraid that I'm going to leave this country. I am afraid.

and i know i shouldn't be, because God will take care of it all...but I am a human and so sometimes I just forget and thats when I get scared and fear takes over.

and this is a conversation that Whit and I just had...I love her.

Stephanie

do you know what my ultimate fear is?

10:54pmWhitney

what?

10:55pmStephanie

I am terrified the ones i love leaving or myself leaving the ones i love.

Which i know both are going to happen

10:55pmWhitney

well, i will never leave you

10:55pmStephanie

and thats why it freaks me out

10:56pmWhitney

even if you move away to go to college...im moving too.

10:56pmStephanie

right

and if i leave the country?

10:56pmWhitney

i will leave the country with you

Now i have a headache,
Stephie

Sleepy Summer Wishes.

2009-05-18T20:40:00.003-04:00

I'm a sleephen pupphen!

Today I have already taken a bath to try to relieve my back of its really annoying pain and a nap and I am still exhausted! All of that running, swimming, laughing, sunbathing, late nights, happiness, car rides, sitting, standing...and all that jazz has caught up with me =]. I actually think I am going to go to sleep at 9pm tonight, which if you know me then you know that this is an unheard of Stephie Statement. My usual nights push 12am and thats on a school night...haha.

Oh man I want summer... as I sat here I realized how much I want it! I only have 11 full school days until exams and finals. Thats all! Of course teachers love to cram anything and everything they can into those last few days so its going to be agony but I keep counting down. My exams will all be pretty simple...

Civics and Economics: I have heard it is really easy and our teacher is really great and I think she will prepare us well.
Creative Writing: I dont even know if we will have one...i mean we didnt have a midterm.
French: My teacher has been absent for 50% of our class so...i really dont know how this one is gunna go.
English: We are taking basically an AP exam...that consists of a huge essay talking about one of the books we read this semester and we write it during the 3 hours we are in the classroom...bahh i hate exams.

Well we shall see.

But right now I want to be over at the apt hanging out with the girls...because seriously that is what I will be doing ALL summer.

I miss Whit and Jessie!

Alright sleep now!
Stephie

From Starry Nights to Fluorescent Libraries.

2009-05-18T09:19:00.004-04:00

I wish our library looked like that one! Oh man I wish I had that library in my house!

Again I seem to find myself in the library. And i am doing some work today just because one of my old teachers is behind me. But now I am done with my work so... I dont know what to do, actually I need to read for a couple chapters in a book before 4th period. I'm gunna go get on that.

But I dont really want to so I'll wait on that.

I had a great time this weekend. I really did, it was a fantastic retreat. I needed it.

DEVOTION.

That was the "topic" of the weekend. I dont really like to call it a topic but that was what we focused on for the weekend.

Am I focused on Christ? and if not...What steps can I take to be focused?

The last night of the weekend, after the last meeting together, I went out to the beach alone and just layed down and looked at the stars and listened to the waves. I had to get away. There I just spoke to God. I asked Him questions and I cried out to him. Out loud I cried to Him. But there it was just me and Him.

I needed Him. I need Him.

Well I'm gunna go and read,

Stephie

Brief Description of a Big Weekend.

2009-05-17T17:26:00.002-04:00

I just got home from the beach. Im not really in the mood to blog tonight but i thought i would give a little update.

So we:
Drove.
Ate.
Arrived.
Met together.
Laughed.
Slept.
Woke.
Ate.
Met together.
Alone Time.
Met together.
Beach time.
Swam.
Ultimate Frisbi.
Flag Football.
Dinner Out.
Met together.
Ice Cream.
Capture the Flag at night.
Slept.
Woke.
Ate.
Cleaned.
Left.
Bert's Surf Shop.
On the Road Again.
Andy's.
Gas Station.
Rain.
Home.

and now i know i need sleep because i just got angry at my sister...we never fight, i hated it. =[

Happy Stephie!

2009-05-15T14:49:00.002-04:00

Im off to the beach with "The World's Best Youth Group"...North Ridge Youth Group!

Have a great weekend Blog People.

Stephie

Who said Libraries were boring?

2009-05-14T10:16:00.002-04:00

Yay for Library. Do you want to know what i have gotten done in the last 2 hours?

Watched the latest episode of CSI New York!
Blogged.
Tweeted.
Listened/watched a video Durch Den Monsun...yes we are that cool.
Counted the days I have left of school.
Played a game.
and just had some more fun.

I think i got a lot accomplished! Dont you?

Stephie

What's God's Plan for "The Best Youth Group Ever?"

2009-05-13T23:47:00.003-04:00

Okay so this is a conversation Catherine and I had about our youth group. And the message needs to be shared.

Stephanie

Oh man...i love our youth group!

Catherine

its pretty much the best one ever

and thats not an exaggeration

Stephanie

I agree

I was talking to Kinsey the other day and she was like seriously thanks for being you guys...real christians

and it was so encouraging to hear it from someone outside of our youth group

Catherine

its so crazy to think that people go to youth groups where its not like that at all!

yeah exactly

Stephanie

Some other youth groups arent aimed for exalting and praising our Lord they are just trying to impress teenagers so they go to church instead of going and doing "bad things"

Catherine

thats exactly right

we used to do a lot more "stuff" but Dan and Sheps realized it wasn't the real deal

Stephanie

But you also have to think and ask...why did God choose our youth group to be a light?

We cant just sit around and be like "sweet we are different."

Catherine

totally

i think you're exactly right

Stephanie

I mean if we are so different then...what should we be doing with that light? Where should we be pointing it? And i think those are questions we should all be asking ourselves.

Catherine

yes! it's gotta go somewhere besides back on us

Guys! It has so to go somewhere besides back on us!!!

Stephie

Music: Now or Then?

2009-05-12T23:05:00.003-04:00

Sometimes I wish music wasn't as advanced. I mean yes, some of the newer advances in the music industry has been great and has improved musical quality. But, think about it. We buy everything off of iTunes, Rhapsody, Pandora, and all the rest of those music catalogs.

How many CD's do you own anymore? Vinyl Records? Cassette Tapes? I will admit the only Cassette tape i own is "The Adventures in Odyssey." One that I got by buying a kid's meal at Chick-Fil-A when I was little. Actually I have two cassette tapes...the second is is Psalty's Heart to Change the World. Neither necessarily music but still classics.

Personally I dont have an iPod. Do I want one...yes and no.

Pros:

Convenient
I adore music and to have it at my fingertips at all times would be my ultimate joy.
Its an iPod.

Cons:

I would be conforming to social pressures.
I would no longer depend on CD's which saddens me because i love CD's. [ I will have to continue this argument in another paragraph]
My money would be going to iTunes and not directly to the Artist anymore.

So now what...do i get one or not? I just can't decide.

My love for CD's arent just because they are cool or something like that. I feel like we are not supporting our musicians anymore. The people that worked so hard to get these CD's out and produced are getting ripped off my things such as iTunes or other illegal ways of getting music [I can think of five websites right now off the top of my head]. My friend is about to release her album in the next month. She is a new artist that hasnt been picked up by a record company or anything like that yet. But I think to myself, in a couple of years from now...thats going to be barely possible. CD's just dont sell anymore, iTunes does.

Even music itself is conforming. I mean turn on the radio...on the mainstream pop radio station, here it is G105, you will hear about 6 songs that arent really even that good. I mean they have a catchy tune to them and they get stuck in your head...and now-a-days that means its a "great song." Wow, when did the music industry come to have such low standards? A cute face will get you a contract with a record company. Take the Jonas Brothers for instance...if they were ugly would they sell? Talent doesnt matter anymore. Yes of course there are exceptions, there are alway exceptions, but seriously the quality of the music industry has hit one of the lowest points in history and people are too blinded by society to realize.

If you want to find some solid music you have to dig and scrap to find the bright and shining light that is talent. The indie society has some fantastic talents...find them! Listen to them! Fall in love with them!

Oh how i wish that we would go back to the first time that White British-Americans heard their African slaves sing tunes that they had never heard before. Or when the Beatles took over the hearts of every girl on the planet. Or when Motown hit the charts with a bang. Or when Jazz was introduced into the American public and took over Harlem's streets.

Can we go back?
Stephie

An "Aha" Moment for an Idiot

2009-05-10T23:37:00.006-04:00

Why cant everyday be just Jess and I sitting at a coffee shop in the Spring sun just spending lovely time with each other? Why cant everyday be me sitting in a room with 5 of the best girls in the world? Why cant everyday be me taking 500 pictures of *Jessica Lyndon Ray* at the beach? Why cant everyday be setting up for a big event? Why can't everyday be Whitta and I sitting on my front lawn staring at the stars?

I don't know what Im doing with my life. I want to be done with high school. I want to be able to help out with Lifted stuff 24/7. I want to help out with Jess's band 24/7.

I just feel like I cant move. Im not moving in any forward motion and im just standing still. I dont know what Im gunna be doing with my life after high school. Yes it is so logical for me to go to college...but for what? and what do i do afterward? There is only one thing that is constant and will continue to be constant and that is Jesus Christ. Time is fading, friendships last a moment.

I cant depend on Jess because she is human and she isnt gunna be here for my entire life, right by my side guiding me through every moment of my being. She is gunna go off and get famous and ill see her every few months and then every several months and then every few years and then every several years and then i will see her every once and a while and then what...I cant be dependent on her.

I cant depend on Whitta because she is human. Because she will grow up and find herself a husband and have adorable kids that she will have to raise and nurture. We will talk and see each other every so often but I cant be dependent on her.

I cant depend on Catherine because she is human. Because she is gunna go and be something amazing...im serious. And we will talk every so often and we will catch up and she will have some amazing advise for me and I will just cherish that time we have together however far inbetween we go before doing it again. But i cant be dependent on her for everything.

He is the only one i can depend on.

How slowly I learned that and am still learning that! Wow! There was a time where i think i worshiped Jess. Im not joking. I mean I wasnt like falling on the ground and praising her or anything like that but I just thought she was the coolest thing in the world and she was so amazing and she could solve any of my problems. I just looked up to her so much that it just developed into me just adoring the ground she walked on. And i still think she is the coolest thing and she IS so amazing and I love her to death but I also realized how much of an idiot i was! I mean yeah she is fantastic and i love her as my mentor/friend/sister but she isnt perfect and she makes mistakes because she is human. And I realized that wow what am I doing? God is the only one I can truly be completely dependent on! Wow I am such a human sometimes!

Christ you are better.
I can depend on Christ...thats a lovely feeling.

It just took a lot to actually say all of that!
Stephie

Quote from the Beautiful Hearted

2009-05-10T23:29:00.000-04:00

"I have all these things but I don’t have it all together. I live solely on the grace of God"
- Samantha Whitfield Crowder.

Sam said this at a benefit concert my church held a couple of weeks ago...well about a month ago. That is such an amazing quote to me because it explains exactly what i have been feeling in the last few months.

I love that girl.

Stephie

Coffee Days

2009-05-07T22:44:00.003-04:00

Today. Today was a great day for almost everyone I talked to! I am looking at facebook status and all of them are saying something positive about this day..."from beginning to end, today was perfect." "Hadd a pretty awesome day!" "Happiest and most smiliest person ever!"...I agree with all of them.

Today I went to school, like every other Thursday from September - June. I watched Star Wars: New Hope in Creative Writing II. Read my book in French II while getting an A+ on a quiz. Laughed so hard I cried today at lunch. Watched a WWII video in English with Abbey sitting right next to me...we are so awesome haha.

I came out of those big high school doors, laughing at something Abbey said, and walked towards a car with a smiling Jessie inside the doors and metal. We had the windows open to the glorious weather God blessed upon our day. We drove, just a small distance, to the local Starbies. Got our drinks...both the same thing every time Grande White Mocha [iced in Summer and Spring & hot in Fall and Winter]. We chose a good spot that was perfectly situated with just enough sun. We sat and drank and talked. We talked about school and summer and Cd stuff [yay] and life and future plans and God and pirates and Emily Blunt...just Jessie and I kinda stuff. We sat there for about 2 hours and we just had one of our Coffee Days. I so dearly love them. Jess and I have a relationship unlike any other relationship I have ever had. She is my mentor and one of my closest friends, close enough to call a sister. And there are times when our lives pull us away from each other...busy days,weeks, months. But then when we get together again its like we come back to being just us and its awesome.

On our way to the house I gave Jess a mixed Cd...A Happy Summer Cd.
We just sat and talked about music and singing for another couple of minutes before she had to go.

I love her.

After the Coffee Date with Jessie I came back and went directly to the computer and wrote an Economic Essay for Civics and Economics class. And then I wrote part of a Research Paper for the Grad Project...English. And now I am writing a fictional diary entry of a Jewish prisoner in WWII in Aushwitz. I have been very productive today! I love it! Maybe I need to hang out with Jess everyday...haha righttt that will happen! haha.

Well over all fantastic day...tomorrow's friday and Michael Alvarado show yay,
Stephie

Present Day Joy

2009-05-04T22:21:00.003-04:00

I am lying on my bed listening to only the rain come down upon my windows. Just a couple of hours ago i was jumping into a very cold pool along with some incredible friends or should I say common law sisters. Those girls mean so much to me its crazy. I am extremely blessed with having these girls in my life.

Having Whit as my true best friend.
Having Jess as my mentor.
Having Cat as my older sister I look up to and look to for guidance.
Having Hannah Grace as a friend that I can laugh with and have some of the most special times together.

and the ones not pictured:

Having Sam as a fellow dreamer and pen pal.
Having Nancy as my far away caretaker, she is always wanting to know how i am and how things are going in my life.
Having Katie as my Toon: The one i tell everything to.
Having Daryl as my laughter and my joy all bundled up into one lovely person.

I dearly love them all.

This week I may get to spend time with one of these girls...just me and her. I love spending time with her. I can't wait to tell her everything that has been going on in the last 3 months of my life because that is how long it has been since we have had one of our date days. I have missed them dearly. I do hope it works out this time. The last few time we have tried to schedule them; they fail and we have to revert to saying "we will have to reschedule for sometime soon" yeah sometime soon means another month.

But now sleep beckons and i shall answer its lovely calls,
Stephie

A Blast from Middle School Past

2009-05-02T17:44:00.005-04:00

My Girls

Three years ago those 10 girls and I were inseparable! We did everything together. We had some of the most fun, crazy, fantastic times together in middle school. Many times i held them in my arms when they cried for this or that, many times we laughed so hard that my abs hurt for days after, my times we got in trouble for talking and giggling in class. We had a blast...

and then I left.

That next year, their lives went on for the last year of middle school...their 8th grade year at Queens Grant Middle School. I talked to them a lot for the first few months, then every now and then and now i talk to them rarely at all. It saddens me. But they all left Queens Grant...some to the QG High School, some to Butler, some to Porter Ridge. We all kind of got lost in our new lives to remember what we used to be.

But then Casey [ she was always the mother of our group] decided to throw at QG Girls Reunion Party. That party was last night. We had a blast again. We reminisced of old times, thought of old pranks and gags we played on different people. We remembered all of our old and forgotten fights and arguments. We remembered all of our fellow class members that we had disregarded from our memory. We sat around a table and just talked, it was fantastic.

We were friends again,
and i missed that.

oh the memories,
Stephie

Writing a Letter of Urgency

2009-04-29T06:27:00.003-04:00

Summer,

Hello old friend. I've been thinking about you for the past few weeks. I want to see you so badly! I was thinking of all the memories that you held last year and it just made me smile. I remember waking up to mornings at the condo at the beach. Oh how i loved those days...waking to the sound of mom and dad cooking a big breakfast, knowing that the entire day was going to be devoted to browning my skin, having as much fun as possible, and making the days endless. I remember sitting in the back lawn of Jessie's beach house watching Finding Neverland with some of the best girls in the world. I remember staying up till the wee hours of the night with the worlds best friends at my house. I remember one morning when Whit, Cat and I were waking up from one of those nights and Jess walked in through the door expecting us to be asleep so that she could wake us up. But because we were awake she couldn't but then we made her go back outside and then we all pretended to be asleep so she could come and jump on us. I remember when i spent an entire weekend with Jess at her house. I remember seeing Heather for the first time since her return at Will and Nancy's wedding. I remember Will and Nancy's wedding and having a blast. I remember hugging Jess so hard that night because we both knew i wasnt going to see her for a while because she was going to Kosova for 2 weeks. I remember the Jess Videos. I remember the Vandalism of Jo. I remember staining chairs with Jess for an entire weekend. I remember when they moved in together. Oh summer i dearly wish you would hurry up and get here!

Sincerely,

Stephie

Oh So Thats Why I Love Theatre!

2009-04-26T00:34:00.003-04:00

Tonight was soooo great! I dont think you can even understand unless you were a part of the cast or crew of this show! It was simply amazing! All of our cues were perfect, the set chances were quite amazing if i do say so myself, the energy was high, and it was just great! Ahh i wish that i could have the feeling I had when that curtain closed all the time! We rocked it and it was fantastic and I am so proud of everyone involved! Oh man I need to calm myself and get some of that much needed rest!

But that can wait...afterward was awesome too! My friend came and saw the show, which was great because I actually got to hang out with him after! Actually it was 5 of us and we stood/sat out in the parking lot of my school and just talked for 2 hours. Those moments are some of the best in my personal opinion! Just friends and an endless night!

Tonight was fantastic! And as our director said... "tonight was FIERCE!" haha.
Happy Stephie!

A Break for the Restless

2009-04-24T14:57:00.006-04:00

I love breaks!

Today I got a break from the hustle and bustle of the theatre business. I to go home after school today. I entered my house in daylight hours! I havent seen my house in the daylight in over a week!

It is such a beautiful day too! It is a lovely 88 degrees outside and there is a slight breeze...wow i cant get over it! I am sitting in my basement with the windows open and music blaring with a macbook on my lap! I love it!

Tonight is our second performance of the four we are showing. We had a good night tonight and as our director said "Yall were FABULOUS! One step away from Fierce!" So I think by Saturday we will have become "Fierce!"

But I do miss everyone. I miss my cell group girls...when was the last time i missed two in a row? I miss the apt. I miss Whitney... i have barely even gotten to talk to her in the last week! I miss Catherine and Jess because usually we dont even go four days without seeing each other. I miss Indie...i havent seen that pup since last Sunday for only about two hours or so! I miss getting my homework done. I miss sleep!

Well, three more performances and one strike and then I am free! Ahh,

Stephie

ps Anyone want to go to the beach next weekend? Because I do!

Opening Night Jitters

2009-04-23T23:00:00.004-04:00

Tonight at 6:32 the house opened.
Tonight at 6:32 I got nervous.
Tonight at 7:05 people were still filing in.
Tonight at 7:08 "5 mins till places" was called throughout the studio.
Tonight at 7:18 the show began.
Tonight we messed up a scene but no one noticed
Tonight we made "Air Havana" perfect.
Tonight I got hit by a huge staircase as we curled our way around the stage...the show must go on
Tonight we turned "Havana Bedroom" into "The Tropicana" in one motion and no one noticed that we messed up!
Tonight we wore black and had masks.
Tonight we walked onto stage and bowed.
Tonight we squealed when the curtain closed.
Tonight we had our Opening Night
Tonight was "the first of many firsts"

Tonight was great!
Stephie