Saturday, November 28, 2009

Vocal Obsession.

This girl's voice has become my new obsession!

Her name is Lisa Mitchell and she is an aussie musician and her music is perfect!
Take this song for instance...

Clean White Glove

That video makes me want to wear red lipstick and write letters while looking out the window of a train!

And instead of finishing my 6 page paper for APES class...I google her. ha.


Monday, November 23, 2009


Its here.

The overwhelming feelings. The future is clear... extreme lack of sleep, late (if done) homework, Family time at 0%, Friend time at -4%, the feeling of crying for days because of the intense amount of pressure that is crushing me, communication is basically through texting (I wont even have time for a phone call), grades at the lowest they have ever been.

Really? Why do I do this to myself? For a week I kill myself. I am a literal walking zombie. I dont get to go to church. I will be at school for roughly 171 hours in the span of two weeks. For comparison...A normal student that goes to an after school activity once a week is in school for 72 hours in two weeks.

I think I should be formally charged with insanity. That is a difference of 99 hours in a SCHOOL! What would possess someone to do this to themselves?

I cannot answer that question. I do love it sometimes. I do get pleasure after the show is completed or when I see my friends and family watching the show I had a major role in producing. But is that worth it? Is a scholarship worth 6 weeks out of my life every year spent completely at a school exhausting myself?

The Lord has always been my strength for these weeks. I cannot do it without His loving voice. He is my warm hugs on the long nights in the Theatre. I rest in Him.

Praying for His warmth,

Saturday, November 21, 2009

New Moon

I am going to see New Moon tonight!

Tonight is Catherine Elizabeth Walker and Stephie Lauren Drummond Hang Out Night! It has been quite a while since we had one of these nights! You know with Jess and Whitta getting in the way of everything (hehe just kiddin). Well tonight we are alone because Jess and Whit went to Hotlanta this weekend.

Our plans: New Moon!

I am officially a teenage girll...ewww/bleh/ughh... I like Twilight! I can't help it! Maybe its a teen thing. That Teenage part of me wants to come out or something but I really like it and can't wait to see it tonight! Woo hoo. Well here walks in Cat! Thats my cue to hop in the car and go to NM! Yay.

The teenage girl,

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Its over.

Im done with it!

Im done with running for that goal. Im done trying to please. Im done caring so much it affects my choices. Im done with feeling disappointed. Im done with trying. Im done with worrying about something I already have. Im done with watching myself fall away from my true desire.

Why did I care? Why was it so important?

But why did it have to take me getting angry to realize this? Why do I have to be frustrated and let down to come to this conclusion? Why was I so stubborn not to come to it easily. I dont want to be angry. But Im so done with it! I just dont want that anymore. I dont want to feel that trapped by constant worries anymore. Im done with letting other people down by my inability to let this go.
The End.

God give me the strength everyday to release my addiction to this goal,

Monday, November 9, 2009

Being Sick is Overrated!

Im sick. :(

Whitta and I got this virus in our throats. Dumb. Basically we have an infection in our throats that cause fevers and exhaustedness (that is now a new word in my vocabulary).

I wish I could sleep for two days straight! That would be awesome! But doesnt work out that way.

Here is my Schedule for Tomorrow:

1st Period: AP Environmental Test! Urga...I tried studying tonight but a fever kinda disables you.
2nd Period: Probably sleeping as much as possible.
3rd Period: Work...manual labor...stress.
4th Period: AP English is going to cause too much thinking! Im preparing for a headache tomorrow.

After School: Rehearsal till 8:30pm.

Therefore my day consists of being sick and putting in a full 14 hour day at school! Perfect.

And tonight I do not feel like doing any homework or any studying because I am exhausted and all I want to do is watch the latest episode of The Office to cheer me up! Thats it...Im doing it! No more schoolwork!

Prayers would be fantastic!

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


This is a Twitpic of Hillsong United setting up for their new iHeartFilm that premieres live at 7:30pm tomorrow night!

Like I can't tell you how much I long to do this one day! To be a techie for something like this!!! Crazy! I would love it so much!

Anywho, Im super excited about this and I hope that everyone is coming to see it tomorrow night with me!

Have a great day,