My little lift.

I love how one comment from someone, one hug, one smile, one wink can just make your day! I just had one of those lovely comments and i am so thankful for the ones that come my way. Today i was just tired... like mentally and physically and those 7 words just made a smile come to my face. They gave me a little lift to this mostly dry day.

Oh how i love my friends!

Steph♥

Lovely!

I am so freaking excited right now and the thing is i am under firm orders not to reveal why!!! It is so awesome and oh my gosh [ pronounced as if Heather was saying it ]!!! I just hope something happens with this news i was just given in all secrecy. Oh but i wish i could tell someone! Cause it is spectacular and i am so happy! Ahhhh. Okay now calming down so i can get some sleep! hehe.

Ahh that one,

Steph

Realizing my true home.

Have you ever moved? Away from everything you know and love and it be completely permanent? This is your thought process... I hate this place and i will never like it! then a year later... Okay its not bad but it will never be home! Then two years later... Oh my gosh i could never leave this place this IS home. It may not be like this for everyone but for me that's what it was. I cant believe how much my life has changed in the past three years of my life. I still remember that night when i found out that my family was moving. You wanna know what my response was..."Are you serious?" 4 months later i left straight from my school at 3:20pm to my new house in a whole different city. And now, whoa now, 2 years 3 months and 1 day later, I can't imagine myself ever leaving [but I don't know God's plan for my life yet]. I have so many amazing things here and so many things that i have learned and have gained by living here! I have gained a relationship with Christ Jesus my Lord that I have never had before. I have gained unbelievably amazing friends that i just adore. I have gained a teacher/mentor. I have gained two make-believe sisters. I have found out what i want to do with my life [as of now, its all up to God]. I love this place and I love that God placed me here even though I was pressing on my brakes the entire way! I realized throughout all of this, I am home anywhere i go cause Christ is my home and He is never away from me.

Thanks for knowing what is better for me Lord,

Steph

Crying Out To Him!

Wow, tonight! amazing wonderful crazy spectacular flattening... those are few of the endless words that could describe my feelings the entire night. It is one night i will remember my whole lifetime.

Stef May, i don't even know her very well but i heard her speak tonight and found out that she is an amazing woman! She spoke and we were captivated, she asked and we answered, she loved and made us want that love. I listened to one of the best sermons i have heard tonight and was shattered into a million pieces. The best kind of night is the one where you are in tears over Christ Jesus our Lord! This was definitely the one of those best nights.

Good gosh! All i want to do is scream out to God with every fiber of my being...BE MY EVERYTHING! I want to know his plans for my life so i can shine and praise Him all the days of my life. I hear that i am going to do something big with my life but WHAT? Am heading in the direction that You are wanting me to go God? I WANT YOU GOD! Why should anything on earth be of my desire when You are available to all that call on You sincerely? I am crying out to You, Lord, "I Will Choose To Call On Christ In Me"

When things started to come to a close and as the band began to play those words above the tears had begun to stain my face. I walked into that room with awaiting arms open and a time of prayer was what I needed. After my breathing came back to normal and there were only remnants of my tears in my eyes i emerged to an others comforting arms. She said something to me that means so much to me! and i want her to know that ( i love you Cat).

At the end of the night to top everything off, we had a MASH (meet at someones house). It was so great to laugh with my friends. To joke and play around with some of my favorite people in the world. I am still smiling over some of the happenings that went on at that house tonight! haha.

And again the only disappointment was that i didn't get to spend as much time with that one friend i have been meaning to talk to. Every time I think i am about to I chicken out, mostly cause of some lame reason like I don't want to bother her with me or she is busy or something along those lines. But i know if i really did come to her and say can i talk to you, she would be more than happy. It is just me sometimes...if you haven't figured out already i am shy and a little weird all rolled into one.

Falling asleep with the tear stains on my face,

Steph

I got my sunrise.

Outside sitting on a red chair i watched as the sun rose over the earth. What a beautiful sight that was. The air around me was cool but not cold and warm but not hot. I was enveloped in the wet crystal Sunday morning. As i sat waiting for the sun to fully break through the bondage of the night, a lonely bird sang out to the heavens. Why doesn't the world see that? Why don't they see how great God is? He made THIS! This wonderful, magnificent place of life.

It is written, Christ is risen!

Steph

The Last 24 hours

I am sitting on my bed [ wow MY bed...weird] so sleepy my fingers cant find the right keys to press. I come to find out tonight that if i don't eat two meals in a row and the dinner the night before... my blood sugar runs low and i get real sleepy and headachey, weird huh. Anywho my day...my day was just full of trying to get through it. Lots of things on my mind and cleaning to do. I didn't get anytime alone with God and that just weakened my spirits even more. As the night came i was recruited to do some slide work for this big worship night my church was holding tonight, the one thing i was excited about the whole day. So i got all dressed, i love looking pretty hehe. And to the church i went. I wish i could have focused on the night more but i had task at hand that had to be dealt with but my friend came up to me right before it started and took me aside and told me to focus on Christ the entire night and have my task take the backseat. So i did and it was amazing, although some moments i got distracted but i tried my hardest to keep on the Lord. The one thing that bugged me about tonight was that i got about a total of 5 mins with a friend that i wanted to talk about an hour with. I needed her hug, i needed her advice, i needed her guidance, i needed her strength, i needed her reassurance, i just needed her. But there is always a tomorrow right?

hoping for that sunrise tomorrow,

Steph

Inspiration

Wow, me, an inspiration! Cant you believe it? I sure cant! I am just me, nothing more nothing less. How can the things i do inspire people? I am so glad it has but, whoa seriously? Thank you God for letting something that i am passionate about shown and spread to others!

Here's that smile again,

Steph

The End.

So here it comes, the end. Tomorrow its official, no more. I've been too busy to see it...well let me correct myself on that one, I've been keeping myself busy so i didn't have to see it. I have heard all of these "comforts" or the things people say to make you feel better about it, Its a good thing, Things aren't going to change that much, Our relationship will grow because of this, We are only ten minutes away, we will be over all the time, you will be over all the time, and [worst] you will get your own room now. THERE IS NO COMFORT IN THAT STATEMENT RIGHT THERE! That reminds me that i am going to be alone, that there is no one in my family that i get along with like we do. And i know that all of these statements were meant in a good way but every time i hear one the lump just grows in my throat. I am standing looking out onto this big huge thing called the Unknown and it scares me. Tomorrow i will be sitting in an empty room with white walls and suitcases [literally]. I have a friend coming to spend the night tomorrow, i don't want them to!! All i want is to sit in my room alone cause i need that time alone. Cause i don't crack in front of people, i don't [or at least i try my hardest]! And believe me, i think it is totally incredibly STUPID that i am crying right now! Its not like she is moving to a different state or something, not even across town...its really on my side of town. But its so stinking hard. I'm such a pansy! Okay i am done! I am composing myself and walking into my bedroom and packing!

and scene,

Steph

It happened overnight...

Wow, what a full schedule ahead of me! I mean i have church (youth group & cell group), school...of course, Tech work for church, Tech Work for Wakefield Theatre Company, Tech Work for NC Theatre @ Fletcher, Homework, ITS ( International Thespian Society), Sister Moving Out Day, Film Festival, Aunts coming, Wakefield Theatre Company's productions productions productions, and somewhere between the madness...having a life.

Loving every moment of it,

Steph

Only a moment.

Okay i only have a moment but let this moment be of rejoice of all the things God is blessing me with! School, TECH WORK! ( i cant thank Him enough), Theatre, film festivals, friendships, sister, classes, church ( wow i love my church), mentor, teachers, learning, a smile on my face, a schedule, a life, hugs, email, encouragement, love, laughter.., and so much more but should be studying right now so there.

Tee He he

Steph