Your work

What am i here for? Christ what is my purpose? I have a gift, a passion, a calling. This is a field of work that hardly anyone enters, why me? Christ why me? You have a reason, You have a plan for me. What can i do to honor You with this passion? Christ what can i do for You? I want You to work in me. Christ work in me. When i am wrapping a cord or focusing a light I want You to pour out of my smile. Christ pour out of my metal smile. Let my employers or teachers or whoever i am with see my desire for You. Christ let everyone see my desire for You. Do what you want with me and i will say Yes Lord. Christ do what you will with me.

Why me? Christ why have you chosen me?

Yours and here for Your work,

Steph

The nights we wished would repeat themselves forever.

One of my first posts on this lovely blog of mine was titled "Moments we wished went on forever," and i just had another one of those but this time it was an entire night. Really it was an entire day. I was picked up after school and whisked away for a time of laughter and smiles. It started with one and she, wow she, means the world to me. We sat on my bedroom floor and talked [it felt like i did most of the talking...hehe]. We talked about life and how i seem to be getting way older by the moment ( we both agreed on that one). I will be on to college in less than 3 years...oh my gosh! But anyway, she talked and i listened (then made a sarcastic remark =]) and i couldn't have spent my day any better than spending time with her. So on to the rest of my night. We came back to The Apt to the sound of music [and not the movie]. The next 45 minutes was my favorite moment of the entire night. They sang and they played and I sat and I listened and i smiled. Their voices are so beautiful and together they are the dream team and i love it so much. But then dinner needed to be made so off they were to get it ready and I to sit on the stool and give moral support. One after the other they arrived from 30 mins away to 3 hours away. Hugs of welcome were given and received. A lovely dinner was eaten with six plates six forks six drinks and six girls. The music of laughter was ringing throughout The World's Best Apartment. Then to Baby Mama and funfetti cake and peanut butter ice cream.

A lovely combination of six girls, a hilarious movie, junk food, a guitar, and a room full of gorgeous voices. LOVE!

"Im just bein, sarcastic"

Steph

Unbelievably Blessed

Everything that i could wish for I have right here and right now! Christ Jesus my Lord has provided me with everything i could ever dream of and I am so thankful for it! Oh my gosh i want to jump up and scream. From the people to the plans to the opportunities, i am blessed.

Thank you Lord...for everything.

Steph

Coffee Talk

I completely love friends. Tonight i sat with friends outside drinking coffee and talking about names we wanted to name our future children. Such a simple girls subject but it was so funny and so happy and so blissful. We talked and we listened and we laughed, i don't think you could have a better youth group. Then we joined the rest and they made my day. The smiles apparent on their faces were the delight of my night. Tonight i laughed so hard i cried and smiled so big that my face hurts and I hugged so hard that i didn't want to let go. Good gosh what a great night.

Still smiling,

Steph

Holding onto Him

So i was sitting at my computer, wondering what to say and how to get my fingers to press on the keys in front of me. I was thinking of my day at school, what about that could i write about? I walk those large hallways 5 days a week, i sit in those classrooms for 7 hours out of my day. What do I observe? Sadness and a lot of emptiness. I go through my day hearing and seeing things that just make me want to cry cause a lot of the people around me are completely lost. But then i am like what can i do? There are more than 3000 teenagers at my school and more than half are not even willing to hear the word Christ or if they do its, if they are saying it in vain. I feel like i am so small compared to this school but i know God is bigger than all of this and He is my strength.

Lord give me the strength to be bold for you,

Steph

Crowned

I woke up to see the 7 day forcast being all in the lovely 70s. Fall is coming and i am so ready! I was so happy today i felt like doing something different, just cause i can and i wanted to. I put a ribbon around my head and became an indian princess. All day no matter the reaction to my "different" hair style approach, i was His princess. What more can i ask for?

But why do i deserve my crown to be so soft when His was painful?

Steph

How much better can a monday get?

I went to school and i liked it. The final bell rang and i loved it. I heard pepper called from the car i soon entered. I spent 2 hours at Target and got to see the price reach past $200. I went to the apt and did my homework. I helped cook a fabulous meal by WiSH. I watched a movie with the closest of friends and laughed until i cried. I sat next to a mentor a friend a make believe sister and watched and listened as she played a lovely instrument. I didnt want to leave.

On another subject, i just want to praise Christ Jesus for blessing me with all those things i listed above. I am so glad to know that He is with me at all times. He is the sunlight i squint to every morning when i leave my house, He is the wind that blows through my hair, He is the hug i get from a friend, He is chill i get when i step out of my bed in the morning, He is the random smile that appears on my face during the day, He is the sound of the guitar being played by their fingers, He is the smile of a friend's face, He is the grass that i walk on, He is the oxygen i live on, He is the music that is consistent in my mind, He is the bed i sleep in at night, He is... my everything.

Ahh He is amazing,

Steph

Choose

Today was great! enough said. actually i dont think i could leave it like that. Anyway, my day, [and it is going to be another list, cause you know how much i love those]

Sunday school, pictionary mystery, secret text msgs that were sent to no one, yoyo tricks, joking with him, smiling with her, eating with them, watching a movie that never fails to put me to sleep, nap, the apt, decisions on the tree, car ride with her, setting up, knowing were everything is and where everything goes, knowing what to do next, looking up to her, cords/microphones/microphone stands/music stands/rugs[not overlapping], plugging this into that, laughing while doing all of this, have time with Christ while they practice, a car ride with 4 in a 3 seater, closed, the search, cookout, discussion about poultry, incredible worship the entire night, proclaiming His name and i didn't care who saw me and what they thought, a birthday surprise, glances, When I Grow Up, no longer a "teen", baptismal, striking equipment, rolling of the rugs, wrapping of LOTS of cords, arm stinging, spending time with her [=) so happy], tackles, sitting on counters with her eating cake and talking[again with the so happy factor], a place that had things now empty, a new camera, talk of travel, hang out needed, SNL skits, i love her, goodbyes with the prospect of tomorrows sighting, Goodnights to all.

Oh tomorrow is going to be a lovely day,

Steph

High School vs. College

Ah, i have mixed feelings tonight. Really just about one subject in particular, college vs. high school. Let the arguments begin.

I love high school! It is so much fun and there are so many great opportunities being in high school. I love the environment of high school and books and the homework and the responsibilities. I love the chance to learn with your friends. I love staying after. Compared to college it feels safe and sheltered. I love how we have a principle that can let you get into the school if you get locked out. I just love it.

BUT...

I just feel like i will adore college. The freedom of it, the importance. Meeting new people, taking fun classes that lead to my major. Becoming a real lighing and sound techie! I just cant wait, it is going to be awesome! But i am scared that i might leave, i don't want to leave this place where i love and i have people that love me. But i am willing to go wherever God guides me. I want to go to a college that has a small town, a beautiful town. I just went to the town of WF tonight and i think i fall more in love with it every time i enter those streets. It is a quiet small town with a seminary in the middle with gorgeous steeples and brick buildings and a stone wall the follows the edge of the property. There are big oak trees that wistle when the wind passes through them and a railroad that runs behind downtown. When you come to the main downtown, it is two rows of brick buildings and i am just in love with it. If i could choose one place where i live to go and spend my time, it would be outside in downtown WF. ahh.

Well by the end of this discussion with myself i kinda got side tracked but that's me.

Still undecided,

Steph

The last 111 hours

The last few days have been a blur of going to sleep too late and waking up way too early for my tired mind. Monday through Friday up by 6:00am [ if not earlier, depending on homework] and sleep by 10:30pm [if I'm lucky]. And here i go with my list of this week... school, tech work, Fletcher Theatre, incomplete room, incomplete wardrobe, Reports, papers, tests, quizzes, lockers, birthdays, friends, a big long hug that i wanted/needed last night, running from 1st floor to 3rd floor back to 1st floor and then to 2nd floor everyday, lighting inventory, hanging lights, apartment, laughter, smiles, secrets being shared and surprised at, apparently "having a life", joking around with a good friend, talking to someone i haven't talked to in years, eating cheese doodles, falling asleep with music on, listening to "Fall" music, missing a couple of people, watched a sunrise, was in tears calling out to God to show me what I can do for Him, sat in a room listening to great worship music with a bunch of friends, stood in the rain, smiled just for the sake of smiling, looked up to her even more, and plenty of other things but that would be a very long post.

Friday is on its way,

Steph