Looking for my moment

My mind is zooming at 300000 miles an hour and i just want it to stop. Only for a moment just so Christ can consume me. At that moment when nothing else is entering my delicate mind and it is just myself and the one i call my true Heavenly Father...its like the feeling of the first day of Fall. So comforting, so new, so familiar, so happy, so home, so pure, so safe, so lovely. Just to read those words that i have just typed so gently makes me desire Him even more. His presence in my life "makes my life." A friend and I were talking tonight about that phrase..."this makes my life" i mean everything makes up a part of your life but in all seriousness Christ makes up my entire being, who I am now was formed by giving my life up for His name. I was changed from that peppy pre-teen that wanted to please and to be accepted by others to a girl whose only purpose is to bring her Lord glory. I don't care about what people think of me or my style and i don't feel the need to please anyone but Christ my Savior. I want people to know that what i am comes from Him and Him only. Praise be to The Almighty One for He is worthy.

Moment found,

Steph

Needed Time

I really want to sit here and do nothing but look only to God. It seems to be getting harder and harder these days to find the time to sit and do nothing but spend time with my heavenly Father. All these things keep piling up on top of me and as hard as I reach I am not strong enough to get to Him. Christ I need you, more than ever now. Everyday I am in a place where there are getting to be less and less people that know and are followers of You. I cant get away from it all. And as my body is getting weakened by the fight to keep going also my heart is getting weakened by the fight to keep You first.

Christ give me strength,

Steph

Relaxation

Ahh relaxation, what a beautiful thing. Just to sit here and listen to The Weepies [cause they can always make me happy] and not have to worry about taking notes or keeping on book or to go get the props for this show or make sure this assignment gets done, just to sit here and talk to my sister and do nothing. I am so thankful to have this moment cause i needed it really bad. Now my sister and I can talk and laugh and smile without worries and this is the cure for what my present state has been. But as this time is ticking away and only 15mins are left hanging around that's my cue to press publish post and get ready for another few hours of responsibility.

smiling thinking of this one moment in particular,

Steph

I Plan

I love being busy, i really do. High school is awesome and some people know how nerdy i am about that fact that i just stated. I love what my job, my roll is in my high school. I am honored and i am so happy about that roll. Its rough some days and tiring and just draining but i love it. You may see in my eyes that i am worn out and sleepy but i cant deal with that, that's not a problem to me. I will push through cause God has given me a great opportunity and i plan to do this job to the best of my ability and shine for Him as i go through my day. But speaking of being worn out that is my cue to go into that lovely room and fall asleep with the music playing in my ear and a smile upon my face and tomorrow morning i will get up in the dark hours and get ready and hold my head high for another long day of what i love doing.

Closing my worn eyes,

Steph

I will but I am

Whoa, a moment. I have a moment to just sit here and type to my hearts content...well at least for another hour if i wish. Day to day, hour to hour, minute by minute. That's my life right now, if you looked at my planner you would get a headache...i do sometimes. But it is all worth it, i am striving for my goal. I want to get this, i need to work hard and prove that I can do this. This is my life i am striving for, my plans for the rest of my tiny existence is kind of depend on what i do NOW, not later and not when i am older, NOW. At 7am every morning till the time i leave my school every afternoon or even night, I am Superwoman [ or at least i try to be]. Yes i can do that, I will get that A, I will stay after, I will take on this or that, i will stay up late to get this done or study for this, I will be the best at all that i take on, I will smile every day, I will impress, I will be beyond qualified, i will show them I can handle this job, I will...fail. As I run around every day all day long i realized that i am weak, i am tired, i am worn, i am young, i am older than thought, i am struggling, i am nothing without Him.

Christ I am holding onto the fact that you have a plan for my life. You know what you are doing with my life and you make me something more than just Stephanie Lauren a girl from a small town and a big family. I am your servant, here to fulfill your blueprint of my life. With you I am strong, I am rested, I am prepared, I can have that smile on my face every day. With You Lord I can do anything.

With paint on my fingers i type,

Steph

My Week in list form

I'm in the need of a list in my life so here we go, where should i start well lets go back to the beginning of the week;

Monday, downtown after school let out, Holly Aiken Bags, Dads loft of an office, cobble stone streets in downtown [can you believe cause i didnt and i saw it], dinner with mexican music and a cute baby, life passing by the window, starbucks and large conversations, Tuesday, awards breakfast, top 100 of the class, everyone = sick [including yours truly], mistaken rooms, long day, Wednesday, 7 to 6:30pm, tech class was just fun, tackling hugs, dream journals, cell group, "The Womb", sick =[, laughter, fun, never fails, i love Wednesdays, Thursday, half day, The Gettys, sitting in a row listening to great music, glasses, Sasquatch, yeti = baby Sasquatch= me, Tim Burton doing Alice in Wonderland, Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter and Pirates 4, Brownie Sundays, the crew at my house not ours anymore, The Office fun, tucking in with boots on, Saying goodbye to all, not getting to sleep until Friday, Friday, falling asleep with window open and Getty music being played, day of comfort and sweatshirts, Whistle Down the Wind and no 3rd period, Heatherhen awaiting me when the final bell rang, then gilgirls and a nice chat, Pei Wei and driving in cool cars, to top it off a movehen.

All this beauty,

Steph

5 mins before 5 hours.

This cant be a long post cause i have 5 hours before i need to be up again. But today was just an amazing day and i loved it so much. From the half day to Sasquatch [or Yeti] to The Gettys to brownies to the office with friends. But now i am off to go listen to my Getty's CD and fall asleep with the wind open so i can hear the breeze.

Goodnight,

Steph

Tired, worn out, loaded down

Tonight i am just tired in every sense of the word. But i determined not to get me down. As i look forward to the future, i see a packed schedule. Everyday except Saturday and Sunday 4pm to 6pm unless it is Tuesday then 4pm to 8pm. First Saturday of October 9am to 9pm, next Mon - Wed. 4pm to 9pm every night. Thursday equals opening night be there at 5pm and Friday is just the same. Saturday be at school at noon, doors open @ 2:30pm and then again at 7pm, be there all day. Oh but how i love what i am doing.

God give me the strength to get up everyday and hold my head high for You, i need your strength.

Steph

Witnessing His Work

Tonight I walked in black flats on a cobble stone path in the middle of the downtown streets. The sun was setting over the buildings and reflecting against their windows. A slight cool breeze blew throughout the streets and across my face. A smile apparent on my face of the wonder that God placed me to live in. I witnessed culture and old black men sitting at a Barber shop talking about life and little kids running through a park playing tag and awesome outfits and people holding Starbucks in one hand and cell phone in the other while trying to unlock their car all at the same time. I saw a couple holding hands while walking down the street and a dad and his baby smiling at each other and a family praying over dinner and a dog jump on a boy licking his face and business men and women being freed from their jobs and horns being blown and cars being driven. I witnessed life and loved every moment of it.

Why not make the best of this wonderful world we live in? Wanna join me in loving everything Christ has bestowed upon us, even if it means enjoying homework or waking up early or working or the person that is getting on your nerves?

Steph

When I Grow Up...No longer.

I am not too young to adore Christ. I am not too young to find His path for me. I am not too young follow His call on my life. I am not too young to worship the Lord my God with all my heart. I am not too young to act on the Holy Spirit's love. I am not too young to understand that God is bigger than all of this world. I am not too young to live a life desiring more of Jesus Christ.

1 Timothy 4:12

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity

running in the opposite direction,

Steph