Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I will but I am

Whoa, a moment. I have a moment to just sit here and type to my hearts content...well at least for another hour if i wish. Day to day, hour to hour, minute by minute. That's my life right now, if you looked at my planner you would get a headache...i do sometimes. But it is all worth it, i am striving for my goal. I want to get this, i need to work hard and prove that I can do this. This is my life i am striving for, my plans for the rest of my tiny existence is kind of depend on what i do NOW, not later and not when i am older, NOW. At 7am every morning till the time i leave my school every afternoon or even night, I am Superwoman [ or at least i try to be]. Yes i can do that, I will get that A, I will stay after, I will take on this or that, i will stay up late to get this done or study for this, I will be the best at all that i take on, I will smile every day, I will impress, I will be beyond qualified, i will show them I can handle this job, I will...fail. As I run around every day all day long i realized that i am weak, i am tired, i am worn, i am young, i am older than thought, i am struggling, i am nothing without Him.

Christ I am holding onto the fact that you have a plan for my life. You know what you are doing with my life and you make me something more than just Stephanie Lauren a girl from a small town and a big family. I am your servant, here to fulfill your blueprint of my life. With you I am strong, I am rested, I am prepared, I can have that smile on my face every day. With You Lord I can do anything.

With paint on my fingers i type,

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