Gift and passion given by Him

I absolutely love working with cables, cords, stands, microphones, lights, and anything else to do with technical stuff. It is so much fun, i don't think anyone even knows how much i love it. I cant even describe the feeling of it. I work with this kind of stuff in three places. Number one is my school, which is awesome cause i get to work with my friends at school and it is so laid back and fun, not to mention the teacher is amazing. Number two is NRACT, a theatre near where i live, where i get to work with one of the funniest guys i know and a great friend of mine. And number three is my church, which is the most fun of them all. I hang out with some of my favorite people and i get to do what i love most and get to listen to the worship band practice after i am done with my duties.

Tonight was my turn working at my church for the Kick Off. At this I... worked, played, laughed, learned, said first hellos, said goodbyes, felt pure happiness, got picked on, sat by best friends, sang the loudest and hardest i could possibly sing, missed my parents, got to nervous to speak privately with someone, figured out something about myself, won a game, lost a game, smiled cause at that moment i couldn't be happier, and praised the Lord most high.

with hopes of the Sunday Nites to come,

Steph

How many times can i scream Thank You Lord?

My weekend has been full of excitement, happiness, disappointment, and a lot of fun. First of all the Gilmore Girls night or as we like to call it The GilGirls Night. Six girls, one boy, take out Pei Wei, Papa John's pizza, Coca-Cola Classic, and our favorite Gilmore Girls episodes. All of that combined to become a grand night of stuffing our faces and laughing uncontrollably. Then after that fun watching Phelps win his 7th gold metal and the shock that he actually won it. Sing Star was next, the battle of voices to cheesy songs. And a big spend-the-nightie after all the fun had worn our tired eyes. Secondly has to be today or this morning really. It was amazing to see my church cry out together for God to come and fill our hearts fully. Tears in eyes and hands raised to praise Him were the last moments in the service. I don't think i have ever seen that many people at the alter of our church, it was spectacular. An all around great morning, not to mention a best friend in tears of how the Spirit had impacted her this morning. PRAISE BE TO THE LORD MOST HIGH!

ending on that note,
Steph

I hope it is as good as the last

My year: sister moving out, the "big" school, honors classes, fun classes, loads of homework, getting taught things more than school related, helping brother with college, my own room, new friends, late nights and early mornings, smiles (always), musicals, plays, sound booths, light booths, laughter, happiness, sadness, volunteer hours, new music, Sunday Nites, 4pm on Sundays (starting this Sunday), spend the nighties, hugs, hellos, goodbyes, pictures taken (LOTS), 10th gradeness, schedules, curfews, truvytherockettaxi without the taxi, half the clothes, half the movies, double the space, more family fights, more praise to the LORD most high, decisions to be made, questions, answers, film festivals, holidays, sweet sixteen, spreading Christ's love throughout Wakefield, tech work, wonderful weekends, LONG phone calls, cell phone, drivers license, youth events and trips, shnuggling, after school fun, writing, and more.

Just a little prediction of my school year.

Steph

Once upon a times and happily ever afters

Why cant life be simple? You know, like in those fairy tales we are told as a kid. Sometimes i think my once upon a time wont have a happily ever after. Then i remember, if i have Christ on my side, i will always have a happily ever after. My end will just be the beginning of a wonderful eternity of praise and worship.

I once had a dream when i was little, i don't know around five or six years old. My dream was in heaven or what i thought was heaven and i was with my little brother. We were dancing and laughing with angels and everything was so bright and happy. And i remember in my dream knowing that God was right there with us although i never saw Him in my dream , but i remember in knowing that He was near to me and smiling down on me, i was safe and the happiest i had ever been.

Now whenever i feel alone or scared i remember that God is right there with me and sometimes i get that same feeling as if i were in my dream again.

Waiting for my true eternal happily ever after,

Steph

Surprise! Its here

Oh the summer is ending and with that comes my prison chamber called school. I have a very much love/hate relationship with school.

LOVE;
I just adore school sometimes. I am going into the tenth grade, wow i feel old. And i know that's when upper class men laugh or college students say I'm only beginning but to me i am in high school, that's big for me. The feeling of walking down a large hallway filled with hundreds of teens with a load of books in my back pack and even more things to be done that fill my head, makes me feel old. High school is a wonderful thing for me. I have talked about how i am a big memory experience kind of person so high school is an experience that i want to take in and remember forever. Any chance i get i want to make my high school years count. I love to be in my high school, after the hustle and bustle of the hours of learning and just walk down a silent hall and just think to myself that I am a high school student. High school just seems so much more important than any of my other grades in the past. I am such a nerd that I rejoice when i have a big report or project. And it is also that I like things that i do well and school is something that i have always excelled in so, high school is just more of that work that i do well so its fun for me. I have friends in school, sure, but really if i lost all of my friends i think i would be fine. Mostly cause i have the one friend I need by my side at all times, Christ Jesus my LORD/Emmanuel "God with us". In this coming year all I want to do is shine for Him, everyday, on my high school campus. I don't want to be anything but a servant for Him.

HATE;
There are definite things about school that nag at any student. Mine include the curfew, i have a bit of a problem with that one. Its not like i am out partying at some unsupervised house or anything major like that, i just get lost up in spending time with some of the people i love the most, my friends from church. Not to mention my brain has no concept of time, it likes to stay up late even if i am home alone in my room staring up at my ceiling trying to fall asleep. Then there is the idea that school has to be spread into 9 months, sheesh. And having classes that last about 2 hours each, okay a teens attention span is only about 20 mins what about the other 1 hour and 40 mins?

THE WEEK;

Okay The Week is the week right before school starts, which is closing in on me at 100 miles per hour. But anywho, this one week out of the year I take a few hours out of everyday (or I try to at least) to spend time alone with God, praying for what He would wish for me this upcoming school year. Last year He brought me to Philippians, which the entire year was filled with things that brought me back to Philippians. But please be praying for me in this next week.

slamming on the brakes and trying to grab onto the days that are flying past me
Steph

The truth behind my smile

I seem like i have it all together right? Well the real truth is that i could crumble at any moment. There is this feeling that comes over me a couple days before there is a real big cry. Sometimes it is with people and sometimes i am alone in my room, but it is coming. There are just a few things in my life that are piling up on me. I don't sleep, one reason in particular but that isn't helping. I keep telling myself i need to keep it together, its just better that way. Don't get me wrong, the rest of my life is going wonderful. It is just these few things that are getting me down. I would talk about it to someone but I hate complaining about this kind of stuff and it just never seems to be the right moment. I just feel like if i give one more hug I could just fall and cry and I don't want to do that, i cant do that, I wont let myself do that! I feel like I'm failing when i cry cause I should be strong and composed all the time and you how i feel about failing. But all my hope is set in one the One.

Hanging onto His promises,

Steph

Theatre and Rating

I love theatre. Around middle school I started to like all the plays and musicals, i was even in a few myself. My drama teacher taught me all about theatre and that's when i began to love it. In the sixth grade there was a drama club at my school that my old drama teacher was teaching so i auditioned and got in. It was so much fun, i was in with all of my friends and we had a blast. Then came the final production, which i was cast as the lead female role and one of my best friends was cast as the lead male role. I just remembering having so much fun and not caring about the crowd or what people thought of my acting, i just was there to do what i loved doing. I haven't done any acting since that night. If you ask me why, i wont have an answer for you. I just don't don't have that passion that i had when i was younger. But with the loss of that passion came a passion that burns brightly within me today. The passion to work behind the scenes, lighting and tech work that kind of thing. I volunteer at a local theatre doing those types of odds and ends and I have a blast everyday. The thrill of opening night right before the curtains part is one of the best feelings. Its a mix of nervous excitement and happiness that all this work has led up to this one night. I love it.

On another subject I had a wonderful day today. It started out at the theatre and ended in a living room with a bunch of friends watching Mr. Bean. Tonight for a friend's birthday we all went out to dinner at Cheesecake Factory, it was magnificent. The food was great and the company was even better.

I am going to start rating my nights by smiles

so therefore,

based on my smile; my night was about a 9 1/2!

hoping for a ten tomorrow,

steph

Oh this day was excellent...

I have said this way to many times before, but seriously there is nothing better than the feeling of a smile on your face! Have you ever been so happy that you can feel it shining out your eyes? That is the exact description of my feelings at this moment in the dawn of the night. I cant help but have my lips curl in an upward position. All day, one thing after the other, my smile just kept getting wider and wider. First it was my first day working at a theatre as a techie, not to mention working in the same building/room with a great friend of mine. If work is this much fun when i am an adult then seriously i am going to love being older. Then my friend was over all day, which was a blast. The smile just keeps growing. Later in the day, I talked to another friend of mine and she ended up coming over for dinner. It was fantastic, we just hung out and ate. After dinner was finished we went on a hunt. A hunt for the DVD/CD combo of all combos. Hillsong's This is Our God CD/DVD released in the US of A today August 5, 2008. I have been waiting for this day for months! So 2 stores later we were victorious and then to Cook Out to rejoice our win. When we got home we invited some of my closest friends over to watch the unveiled DVD. We sat in awe and wonder as God's name was proclaimed in a place of thousands. My eyes on the verge of raining tears onto my untainted cheeks with every word sung through out the raised hands and crying voices. God's presence was so clearly shown in every voice that sung out to Him. It was incredible. Smiles was plastered on all the faces that had watched the video, when it had come to an end. I didn't think the night was going to get any better, but God is amazing isn't He? I sat in my room with Giggles ( you remember her right? If not read some of the Beach Week 08) and she told me she had something to talk to me about. When she mentioned this I had one specific thought that passed through my mind but because i didn't want to jinks it i quickly brushed it away. She, along with all the other youth leaders at my church, want me to help out with the tech side of youth group. This is were my smile just set a new record. I am completely stoked about this, i don't think anyone has any idea. Like whoa, I know it is going to be a lot of work, along with my duties with the theatre and with school, but i am wholeheartedly jumping aboard this train. This is what I want to be doing with my life, without hesitation. There are two things that are huge in my life.

1.) Becoming a techie with some big christian youth conference

2.) Releasing my life fully everyday for Christ and praise Him for every blessing He has bestowed upon me

I want to worship the LORD the rest of my life and beyond. There is this feeling that comes over me every time I worship that is nothing like any other feeling that i have ever experienced. There is a member of Hillsong that said when she worshiped it was like God flattened her. I love that description because it is really what happens. There are times when i just want to sing at the top of my lungs proclaiming Him and I want to cry and i want to just crumble for Him. I sit here listening to Brook Fraser and Darlene Zschech, in the dark of the night outside on my back porch and I don't want to go to sleep because all I want to do all night is praise with a smile on my face,

the one who smiles.

Uncontrolably Happy

Okay I cant stop writing tonight, I am just so happy. I am smiling at no one because no one is up, I am listening to music, Sunday Nites starts back next week, I got to spend the weekend with my friends, I have a plan for tomorrow, I have a plan for next weekend, I have a Coca-Cola Classic sitting in front of me, I just spent time with the LORD, my sister and I got to talk in length today, I took a nap today (which is a big deal for me. I never take naps), I am wearing a new shirt, my room is full of beds and memories of this weekend, i have a story/reenactment to look forward to, I have a phone call to get nervous about, I have a Coca-Cola phone sitting beside me, I have a calender full of past and future events, I have a book to finish by the end of the summer (which is nearing), I had a bow in my hair today ( I felt little again, and i loved it), I saw all of my friends smile today, i heard my dad sing this morning, Heather was on our side of the church this morning and it didn't tip over (the Rays had enough coolness to level it out), I watched my favorite movie today, i ate so much i was in pain this afternoon, I get to help with the band's equipment after youth group again (you don't even know how happy that statement just made me), I only have 9 more months with metal glued to my teeth, I get my own room in a month, there are a few people in my life that I owe a lot of my faith in Christ and i get to see them multiple times in a week, I have friends that i don't even deserve to wave at let alone have almost daily conversations with, I am too young and too old for my age, i get to pray and worship a God that is loving and faithful, God allows my small ears to hear and enjoy music, He allowed me to sit in a stairwell and hear my friend praise Him and in those moments where i was alone with Him I came running back to Him from a few days of trying to push Him away (and if my friend read this sorry I was secretly listening to you), my youth group and I are so lucky to have shepherds that have 4 1/2 hour meetings for us, I got to hear a true love story this weekend, i get to live in a free country while others have to live in fear of censoring themselves, I am a daughter a sister a friend a grand daughter a niece a cousin a student a photographer a blogger a laugher a crier a smiler a writer a reader a style a listener a praiser a watcher an analyzer a hugger a complementer a teacher a nerd a techie an idiot a college bound an oxymoron a human, I am nothing without Him.


Steph

Capturing Memories

I am so blessed to have a huge memory. I am a big memory, experience kind of person. I love making memories that i will remember forever and laughing at them for years to come. Some say that I take too many pictures but I love capturing memories so that i can look at them and remember exactly what we were doing at that moment. Candid photos are even better because they show you really what was happening and they are just fun to take. Right now i am uploading pictures off of my camera and looking over these photos just make me smile. Seeing candid smiles on my friends faces brings joy to my heart, cause i know they were having a good time and i love to see my friends happy. Sometimes i wish my eyes were cameras so that whenever i wanted to record a moment i could just blink and it would be a picture forever stored away. Even though i always have my camera on my person, i just would love to take endless film and photographs of the times that i love with my friends and family. I can also take credit in doing this but people always want to see the picture after it is taken to see how they look in it. But the pictures i take aren't about if you look wonderful or not because these pictures are about the times together. There is a song about about how we should stop thinking about how we look and seeing that God made us beautiful in every way and how beautiful we would all be if we all stopped thinking about it. The song is perfect, it explains our human nature and i love it.

"How beautiful we could all be if we just stopped trying,"

Steph