Check Here for Overwhelmed.

hmm...lets see, what is making me completely overwhelmed and stressed right now?

In the next couple of weeks I have to completely decide on the courses that could potentially effect my schooling career for the next 6 years or so. Okay im kinda being dramatic but, kind of not. In the next month I will be choosing my classes for my Junior year of High School. Now to some that comes as an easy choice or they just dont think that much about it but thats just not me. There are so many things to consider.

Like take Duel-Enrollment for instance. Duel Enrollment is a program that lets you take classes at a college and get High School and College credit for those classes. I have to decide whether or not to do it in the first place...easy answer, yes. Now next question, When? Another easy answer...As soon as possible. Next question, What classes? Now this is the hard question because I would like to take all of my AP classes at Wake Tech and that is about 3 of my classes. But i still have to talk to my counselor about it and soon.

And now lets turn our attention to Early Graduation. At the rate I am going, I could graduate Wakefield High School in January of my Senior year. BUT! I also want to take AP Calculus in my senior year but that is a year long course! So now what? I either graduate early without the Calculus credit, which is an extra credit anyway, or I take it and my senior year and i will only have one main course for the entire year.

I dont know what to do! I just want someone to just sit me down and say this is what you are going to do.

And not to mention I am loading myself up on the AP Courses and im scared. I mean yes they are the next level in my learning pathway and if i dont do them i will just be staying at the same place i am now and i dont want that. But im also scared, its just, what if i dont do well in them and there is too much work, plus i will still have theatre so lets say there is a play going up in a week. That right there means i am pushing at least 84 hours that week at school...what time does that leave me to do homework and i will be in AP classes!

Oh man...how i wish it to be my first day at school again,
Stephie

Ears Open

Like a little girl i sat on my church pew swinging my legs, listening to a girl speak of things my mind has only kinda of grasped. Every time this girl has spoken something has tugged at my heart and i cant seem to get her words out of my thoughts for weeks, months...wait i still havent gotten her words out of this head of mine.

Im a slightly girly-girl. I dont have a problem admitting to it. I dont like camping, i dont go on the annual youth backpacking trip, i would rather watch a movie than go on a walk...But. If God asked me to go, to go to a country with nothing but a river to wash in and a shack to live in...I would go. I am at a point in my life where I want nothing but to proclaim His name. I have been verbally beaten because of His name over and over again. I have been treated horrid because i shine. But I still run hard after Him. I want the world to know Him, i want them to hear His name. And if that takes me going to some far off distance place in this world...i will go. I want to be that girl at those gates that are taller than the farthest point she can see and thick enough that she cant knock on, but still she screams His name. I would go even if that meant leaving my family, my sister, my mentor, my friends, my dog, my home. And oh gosh would i miss them but if He calls, i leave and follow.

And oh how i wish i was staying here at my house tonight because i want to speak of this to her. She is going to be here tonight and I will not and do wish to talk to her about this. I wanted to run up to her this morning and grab her and hug her and tell her all of this, but i didnt. I guess it will have to wait.

Listening for His call,
Stephie

Live from NRC Tech Booth.

So Im here at the church and im up in the booth "doing sound"...yeah right. Well im here on the call of one Jessie to help them out with sound while they practice...but the thing is, is that im not the best sound manager type of person. Yeah i know what the definition of EQ and AUX are but seriously put me on a sound board and i get nervous. Especially when you add Dan Seaman [the best sound/technician i know] and Jessica Ray [ second best technician i know]. Sheesh. As i look at the board now...it scares me. What if I mess up? What if i screw up? What if...what if...what if?? I need to learn to be confident in what i am doing. I mean i am going to be working with this for rest of my life. Ill get over it...eventually. 

They sound amazing! Just to let you know...=].

Their voices are making me smile, 

Stephie 

One Name.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

There are only 26 letters in the English Alphabet. People have estimated that there are anywhere between 600,000 to 988,968 words in the English Language. There are approximately 74 one word prepositions. Thousands of Verbs. Thousands of Nouns, pronouns, adverbs, adjectives. Hundreds of Swear words but only 7 of them are not allowed on television. Hundreds of Slang terms we have made up for years.

Jesus Christ.

Two words that have more power than all of those words combined. Two words that reign. Two words that carry the pain and sufferings of the entire world. Two words that hold the sin of humans. Two words that forgives. Two words that saved. Two words that long for your sight so that He can point you directly to God.

One Name that brought salvation, forgiveness, redemption, righteousness, freedom to a world that didn't deserve it, light in the middle of black darkness, hope, joy, and an unending love.

And there you have it,
Stephie

Picking out Courses with my Red Shoes on =]

So first day of our 2nd semester and they are already pushing our course choices for next year. And WHOA... Im gunna get my butt kicked next year! I just realized that other than math i am taking all main AP courses! Seriously...let me just give you a little peek into my desired schedule for next year.

• AP Environmental Science
  
• AP US History
  
• AP English III
  
• Honors Pre-Calculus
• Trends and Movements in Young Adult Literature
  
• Newspaper I [Application required...so i dont know if i gunna get in yet]
  
• Yearbook I [Application required...so i dont know if i gunna get in yet]
• Honors 20th Century Classics
  
• Technical Theatre III
  
• Honors Holocaust and Genocide in World Studies [possibly]

So yes...

But I got red shoes, dont you love them??

smiley while talking to Sam Bird,
Stephie

Dear Second Semester,

Je m'ppelle Stephanie! I totally learned that in French I this past semester...aren't yall proud?

So as of today at 10:45am. it was declared that my first semester of my sophomore year of high is officially over and done with. No more French I or Chemistry or Algebra II [i cant add Technical Theatre cause that will continue for the duration of my high school career]. I at least got all As and one B...seriously though im kinda disappointed in my B because it is a point away from an A and I just dont like Bs...As are better. Anywho, only 4 months and lets say about 3 weeks away from summer. But there are no breaks or days off until April....sucky! But thats okay, ill get through it. Cause you know Jess is always saying that we have too much school off so ill make up for it in these next two months.

Im too excited for this next semester!

• Civics/Economics- eh, but i am in a class with a bunch of my friends soo...i think ill deal!
  
• Creative Writing II- SOO EXCITED! A class where all we do is write and a lot of my friends are in that class as well...im stoked.
  
• French II-Basically it is my same class as French I so we will have fun together!
  
• English II- I love English lets just put it that way!! I just cant wait! And i just found out that im in the same class with my good friend Abbey!! We 4th period together again! We will rock out that class!
  

Im so pumped. Tomorrow is our first day of our second semester so it will be a bunch of this is what we are doing in this class for the rest of the year and this is what you will need for the course and introductions and all that jazz...and then top it off with youth group tomorrow night! And I have new shoes! I just cant wait!

Salut,
Stephie

Bulleted Thoughts

I only have a few sentences rolling up around in my head tonight...mostly because I am sooo tired.

• "If you're out on the road, feeling lonely and so cold. All you have to do it call my name and ill be there on the next train" - The glories of watching gilmore girls at the Apt
• Im feeling really bad about being so sarcastic lately or sarcastic in general...long story [well not really just not one that is interesting enough to blog about]
• Being sick is stupie, especially when no sleep and a big exam in a day is added to the mix.
• There is this picture of four beautiful girls right above this computer screen - oh how i love each one [ Jessie(and no im not just calling her that just to be a pain, I dont really know why I just do), Hedrish my lovie love love love, Nanchen(pronounced: Nance-hen) , and Sam Bird] 
• Try to think of 15 Will Smith movies right now - its harder than it sounds [or it was for 7 lovely girls and one me]
• Having my sister come in my house crying at 10:30pm is NOT okay and should not happen...so THEY are done.
• The Gettys are awesome - you cant deny that [ if you try, go read some of their lyrics and then come talk to me]
• I feel like im trespassing because im on Jess' computer - I get nervous when im on Jess' baby i feel like im gunna mess up something even though im just on blogger.com. 
• Having a guitar pick in my wallet and knowing the answer to her questions or anticipating her next need makes me smile a little bit [ im a techie/assistant, i love it!] 
• "Okay now lets talk about the deadline emphasis on the DEAD" - I love Paris  
• FACT: Converses are awesome - there are pictures to prove it!
• FACT: A starbucks coffee can make any day better 
• FACT: The Apt is the best apartment in the world
• FACT: 100 wings split between Drummonds, Rays, A Miller, A Walker, and A McGarvey = loads of fun and just enough!
• FACT: Gilmore Girls is the best show to watch to make you happy!
• FACT: Holly Aiken is the coolest person and bag designer ever! 
• FACT: M.A.S.H. is a perfect game to play while sitting in a lodge at a ski retreat.
• FACT: The Project Concert is a go for Feb. 28th [and the excitement level is up to new heights] 
• FACT: Sleep is definitely needed right now.

[more about Ski Retreat later]

G'night,

Stephie

"Wake up God was working very hard last night..."

Snow.

This morning i awoke to see about a 2in layer of snow covering the ground and flakes still falling consistently. What a lovely feeling! No school, no worries, all fun. It was a completely happy day! Some of the most special girls in my life came over at like 9am and stayed all day! They were lovely and beautiful. I dont think i would have liked to spend it with anyone else! All we did was...

• sledding down a huge hill,
  
• snow ball fights with neighborhood little boys [we killed them],
  
• snow angels on the golfcourse behind our house,
  
• football in the snow
• home run derby in the snow
  
• home made hot chocolate
  
• falling asleep to a movie on a big pallet in the middle of our basement
• chili for dinner
• making cookies
• making smores on our fire pit outside!!
  
• just being with the girls hanging out

It was such a happy day but i am sad it is over, but I still have another snow day tomorrow.
I just wish the girls could have stayed over...It has been too long since the last unexpected sleep over, or sleep over for that matter. I love them.

Stephie

The Flame

This room is dark.
A darkness that is filled with sadness, sorrow and loneliness.
The only light that radiates is the flame that I hold tightly in my palms.

The flame is bright but the darkness still surrounds.
The silent blackness screams at me to blow out the flame and step into its ways.
When I refuse it blows hard and tries to extinguish the source of light.
But the more the Darkness blows the stronger I hold to the flame,
and the more the flame grows in light and power.

I look to the Light and it smiles at me and comforts me
It urges me to rise up and fight for Him.
So I stand strong in that room of screaming blackness.
I hold out my hands so that even though they try to smother it they shall still see the illuminating flame.
Because even Satan cowers at sight The Lord.

So simple...right?

A hug is so simple. Wrap your arms around the other person and squeeze. I probably hugged about 15-20 people tonight. But you know what, i think people have over used the hug. For me a hug is a sign of affection. You hug a dear friend, a loved one, someone you know really well or grew up with. But now its like you hug everyone that you say hi to or have met like once or twice. And hugs are now just a wrap and release now. No more of the squeeze that says "hey i love you". The hugs i truly adore are the ones after a one and one chat or the ones after a good girl talk or the ones after sitting outside just talking to a good friend for about an hour or the ones when someone you love returns home or even the ones when you are saying goodbye to someone you love. Those are the ones where you dont just hug the person you hold on to that person. I want to hug a person and in just that one hug say I love you because...you are my friend, my sister, my parental, my mentor, my brother, my Toon. If a hug can spread love and love can be used in a way to witness to unbelievers than shouldn't we all hug like we mean it?

I love hugs,
Stephie