Monday, July 14, 2008

The Recipe for Crying to Smiling


Have you ever felt just worn down? Like you just want to sit in a quiet room, alone, and cry your heart out. Shut your eyes and wish yourself into a state of not thinking about anything. Right now for me is just one of those times. But lately i never have seemed to get that time alone with myself and God so these feelings just get pushed back for another time. I have done that so much these past few weeks that its just gotten bigger and bigger that i cant handle it anymore. It just seems like this thing i am dealing with is never going to go away and it hurts so much. I don't want to see pain anymore. But i know that until i am with that gracious God i adore in heaven that i am going to see pain, physical and metal. I am sitting alone right now, wow alone, i thought i wouldn't get to see that in a long time. Outside, laptop resting on my crossed legs, eyes probably a little red, cheeks wet, nose running, and ears filled with songs of the One i need right now.

"I trust in You. I trust in You. I believe Your my healer. I believe your all i need. I believe..."

I know I have heard this song over and over again but really every time I listen to it gives me so much hope and adoration for this outrageously loving God. And even when I am in pain or i see someone I love in pain it brings be back to realizing I need to come back to Him and only Him because He is my healer, He is faithful, He is loving without limits, He is gracious, He is more than enough for me.

The Recipe for Crying to Smiling (for me anyway):

1 hour alone with God
1 smile from someone you love
1 to a billion songs praising the LORD
1 big long hug from one of the people closest to you
Hours with people you care about
A million times saying I LOVE YOU LORD! YOU ARE MY ALL AND I HAVE NOTHING WITHOUT YOU!
Steph

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