Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Do I? Am I? Have I?

Sometimes i just feel like i push God away any chance i get, because it is my nature. But He stands firm, and when i run back to him he opens his arms and takes me back. WHY DO I DESERVE THIS? I don't deserve Him at all! He is amazing to me, he never leaves my side even when i tell him, i don't need him or i don't have time right now for him. I feel like every moment of my life i need to be screaming I'M SORRY! Because I am never worthy of him. When i am going through rough week and i start to crumble He is always there to hold me up and get me back on my feet again.

I am a firm believer in not crying! I can cry, yes. Do i ever want to cry, no! I have cried about two things in my life and one of those is The LORD especially this past year and a half. I have really desired to know Him. Yeah i grew up in a Christian home and everything but i was so far from being a true Christian. So the past few years i have really opened myself to Him. I wanted Him to work in me. The more i get to know this wonderful gracious, loving, merciful, faithful God i cant get enough of Him. I want to shine for Him. Am i doing that? I want to be living solely for Him. Can people see that? In my everyday life i want to spread His joy. Do people notice that? Have the people in my past seen a change in me? Have I encouraged someone to walk in the LORD? There are people younger than me in my life, am i showing them Christ in my actions? Have I impacted someones life? Do i scream Be My Everything loud enough that people hear? These questions i ask myself because i want them all the to happen one day. If not today or tomorrow i want to accomplish them in my life time.

Crying has become not a bad thing anymore. I cry because i love.

Love and Praying for the people in Kosovo!
7 more days!! (not including today)


~Steph~

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