I just sat here for about a minute just staring at my keyboard. I couldn't get my fingers to move, mostly because i don't know what to say. I am thinking about this new school year that i am about to start here in less than a month. I have no idea what i am about to step into. I know there are "for certains" such as, I am going to laugh, cry, praise, thank, find, learn, grow, smile, help, disappoint, love, dislike, write, blink, breathe, and much more. But what will i laugh at? Who will i laugh with? How much will i grow? Where and what will i learn? How much will i help, if any? The future holds on to so many questions that fill my mind.
My best friend is moving out, how will i deal with that fact? I haven't even grasped it yet. I have been asked how i feel about it, but i don't because really i have tried not to think of it. If at all possible. The thought of having to live everyday knowing that i may not be able to see her. Will our relationship stay at a stand still, grow, or will it grow distant? The last time this happened we didnt have the relationship we have now. Having to deal with the rest of the people in this house alone scares me. No one else gets along like we do. She says I will always be over there, but i know i wont be. And i don't want to be that pesky little sister calling all the time and wondering when i will get to come over again. Not to mention how this will effect my time at my youth group, i will have no taxi anymore. Okay enough of this, i don't want to talk about it anymore.
My best friend is moving out, how will i deal with that fact? I haven't even grasped it yet. I have been asked how i feel about it, but i don't because really i have tried not to think of it. If at all possible. The thought of having to live everyday knowing that i may not be able to see her. Will our relationship stay at a stand still, grow, or will it grow distant? The last time this happened we didnt have the relationship we have now. Having to deal with the rest of the people in this house alone scares me. No one else gets along like we do. She says I will always be over there, but i know i wont be. And i don't want to be that pesky little sister calling all the time and wondering when i will get to come over again. Not to mention how this will effect my time at my youth group, i will have no taxi anymore. Okay enough of this, i don't want to talk about it anymore.
My Prayer
"God, You know my heart. I've laid it down before You
God, You know my deep desire. How I only want to honor You
and i know, that You've got the desire of my heart
and You've got it set apart
You know the better thing- so i've simply got to trust
that if you choose not to give me what i want
You'll give me something better.
better is Your plan for me. better is Your perfect timing
better it is when I look through Your eyes"
simply trusting,
Steph
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