Saturday, November 15, 2008
Im crumbling inside. On the outside i am put together, happy, and fine. But inside...well lets just say thats a different story. Its been slowly crashing down and now im at a point where I am tired of putting up a front, although i will still put up that front when i am done with this post, i have no doubt of that. One big huge problem with me is that i keep things bottled up...i hate sharing my feelings. I keep them inside and i hide...hide from the looks that go into your soul, to the "How are you?" questions that have the simple answer "good/fine" and the people that i know will see right through me. Cause from day to day i am holding myself together by...i really have no idea how i keep myself together.
Christ is there He is whispering His calls to me but i have plugged my ears cause He is saying things that i dont necessarily want to hear. I hate it, i hate that i have plugged my ears for this long. And as I slowly am crawling back to the Lord, i need help. I am crying out for help. I am willing to open up my bottle but i need some help to pry it open.
Being His painting that is continually needing work,