Monday, June 8, 2009

Moonlight Prayers.

I am looking at the moon, admiring its curve and the yellow glow that surrounds it's exterior. The past few days I have been thinking...[ I know...WHOA Steph is thinking!] I have been thinking about what or who I feel like I am dependent on.

-adjective Relying on Someone or something else for aid, support, etc...

That is the formal definition of Dependent, as of I depend too much on people. Too much on Whit, Jess, and Cat. I will admit to it. My sister is my best friend, Jess is my mentor, Cat is an unbelievable friend and someone that I look up to for guidance. They are all my friends...I laugh with them, I do silly things with them, I sit up at 12am watching movies with them, I lie in bed on the weekends and listen to them as I doze off myself. But then sometimes I look up to them too much. I find that they consume my thoughts. When what my thoughts should be focused on is Christ and His name being proclaimed through my actions and not what "the girls" will like or whatever. Each one of them are amazing...but that is because they have Christ in their lives. If Whit didnt have Christ...well lets just not talk about that, If Cat didn't have I can imagine her probably being a horrendously mean person, If Jess didn't know Christ...her fiery Ray temper would definitely get the best of her. Their best qualities are brought out by Christ Himself shining His light through them.

But instead of leaning on the Lord I go straight to them and their human flesh something that I relate to. I want for Jess to see when I need to talk to her because I just don't have the guts to ask. I want Catherine to look into my eyes and see that things arent okay. And I want Whitney not to look through me because I dont want her to see that Im weak. But the thing dumb. They are human...and even though they are awesome and amazing; they are human. I am human. I cannot be dependent on things and people...God is the only dependable thing. Oh how I forget this and I am sure to forget again. But I can come back to Him!!!! He will open His arms and say to me "My silly daughter, come and I will help."

Oh just imagine being able to run into His open arms!! AHHHH It is unfathomable. But it just sounds so great! Imagine the most amazing hug you have ever been held in and multiply that by a number you can't even pronounce that ends in -illion.

My prayers are strong; May I look to You more than them. Let them guide me to You but may my heart be focused on You alone and not what they say!

Praying by the light of the moon,

1 comment:

Katie Smith said...

whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa.

I just wrote about basically the same thing. Sort of. Yours is more organized than mine, but is pretty similarrrr. whooaaa God is so cool! :)