Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Who Am I Kidding?

Who am I kidding? I need help! I am being buried deeper and deeper but I am too much of a prideful idiot to ask for such a simple thing as help.

I was sitting at a high school basketball game tonight almost in tears the entire time. Its like i cant breathe anymore...its getting harder and harder to inhale. I walk into school every day and I have to be strong, look to God and try my hardest to breathe. I can hardly read what I am writing now, my tears have control over my vision at this point. What am I going to do? I need someone to have my back cause I cant do this alone! My passion for this is strong but my body is weak and wants to give up, but i will not allow that!

Everyone is gone tonight. I want to pick up that phone beside me and dial those numbers that are so familiar to my fingers. But i wont do that cause i dont want to interrupt their night; carefree happiness is something to be cherished.

Help. please. I dont want to cry anymore.

Stephanie Drummond


SamanthaMarie said...

Hey girl,
I am really a random passer-by and have no idea what's going on in your life, what you are struggling with, or anything else.
I'm going to be praying for you. I'm going to pray that God lifts you up out of the pain. I am going to pray that He gives you strength and courage. I am going to pray that He reaches out and touches your heart in a big way. I am going to pray that you turn to Him and reach out to the One who died for you on a cross.
I'm also going to encourage you to call those friends/mentors/etc. The thing is, I used to do the same thing. "People don't want to listen to me, they are busy being happy." They are your friends for a reason. They love you girl and want to support you. Don't let satan stop you from getting support, that's all in his evil plan. Reach out, many hands will catch you.
At the very least, if you need someone feel free to email me at samanthathorson@hotmail.com
Praying for you,

Katie Smith said...


You know you can always call any of your friends when you need to talk. Do you know how happy I would be to get a call from you? No matter what it was about. I love you so much, and I love to hear your voice, whether it is clouded by laughter or by tears.

I'll be thinking about you and praying for you!