The summer is over. That statement just made me completely sad. To think back to the beginning of the summer, it really truly feels like a week ago. I remember the weekend before i got out of school thinking to myself how happy i was going to be when i was free from all the worries of school. That Sunday night before my last day of school, was so much fun and i just thought the entire night, if this is what summer is going to be like i am going to have an amazing summer. But you know, i think my Spring was better than my Summer. I remember just everyday feeling like i had a great day and i had stuff to look forward to and it was just fun. I think the Spring of 2008 will be one of the best times of my life.
So this weekend is my last weekend before school starts and my last weekend spending time with my sister in OUR house possibly forever. Next weekend she is out of town and then the weekend after that she is going to be moving out. There are so many things running through my mind right now; I'm scared, i want to talk to someone in particular, school=sooner than my mind can grasp, sadness, excited for tomorrow, excited for Saturday, excited for Sunday, dreading Monday, i want to cry in someones arms, i don't want to disappoint, i want to smile all weekend, i want to continue something for a long time, i want my friend's birthday to be perfect and for her to be extraordinarily happy, i want my plans for tomorrow to really happen, i am dreading 2 weeks from now exactly,i need conformation, i don't want this song to end, i cant wait until Sunday night to be here, i don't want to be nervous when i go up to someone on Sunday, i want to please (but i shouldn't), i want God to flatten me right now cause i need Him, i want God to shine through me everyday at that massive school of mine, i want to be someone the jh girls can look up too (am i?), i dont want people to ask where i got my clothes i want them to ask why i am different, i want thank God for putting some people in my life,
im wondering why i want to be anything but God's servant.