A Youth Group with Eyes for Christ's Plans

Tonight was great!

Youth Group was fantastic. I mean some things were just off but the rest of it was just great!

Dan spoke of the power of the name of Christ Jesus. He spoke of salvation that MUST only be given my one name. He spoke of Peter and John and their defiance against the temple. He spoke of the priests and teachers of the law even noted that Peter and John, two ordinary men that had no schooling, they spoke with words of courage and they took note that these men had been with Jesus. He spoke on how we shouldn't care of what they, he, she thinks and just preach. We need to be disciples whether that means right here in Raleigh or in a country across the seas. God spoke to us through the mouth of Daniel Seaman tonight. It was fantastic!

It completely spoke to my heart tonight. I have been hesitant and scared to say that I think I am being called to missions. The thing is that everyone is called to missions but some are called to go to distant and foreign land and some are called to the homeland. I will continue to actively wait on which of those God calls me to.

Later That Night...

After Youth Group ended the Senior Highers came over to my house for the final M.A.S.H. [Meet At Some one's House...creative right?] of the year. This is basically when we go to some one's house and they have food and we just hang out and have a good time and rejoicing in the blessings of Jesus Christ. So tonight was the Drummond Family's turn...which was awesome! My dad cooked brick-grilled Cuban sandwiches and we had chips and cupcakes and candy...and lots of soft-drinks. So after the race between Nate, Bizz, and Anna to get to my house...i rode in Nate's car [ the cool car...as he puts it] we all met at my house and just started having a good time. The boys watched sports and played pool and the girls all sat in my room and talked and had a great time. In the girl room we laughed about silly things and talked about even sillier topics. But there was one thing we decided to do while we were down there alone. I had sent out a message to all of the girls just asking them to pray for a friend of ours that is in the midst of making an album, Jessica Lyndon Ray. She was in Texas this past weekend recording the final part...vocals. Now its the final stretch...getting it all put together into one single album. So my friend Rachel and I were talking about it and so we thought we should get all the girls together and pray for Jess and the Band. So while all the girls and I were in my room we got into a circle, held hands, and prayed for the band. It was great. I love that our youth group is so close and centered around God that we do that kind of stuff you know? It was awesome!

Come to find out later that our Youth Pastor, Dan, he came in and we were praying! haha. He went back out into our basement and he laughed and said, " They are either praying or they have a Ouija Board in there. Lets hope its the first!" haha He would make that joke. I love my youth pastor!

But now i have to go get some sleep...LAST THREE FULL DAYS THIS WEEK! And then we have 4 half days but still.

Goodnight Bloggy People,
Stephie

Late Night Training for Summer

Today I slept in. 

I slept in til about 12pm. It was so great! And I needed it. Last night i was up until like 3:30am talking to a friend about Christ and it was so great! We talked for hours and got so pumped up about the calls on our lives and how much we want Christ to reign in teens lives as well as others but...can you imagine a world were all the teenagers were consumed by Christ? We talked about how we LONG for Christ's return. And it wasnt like we were just talking about, we were getting excited about!!! It was a great. 

And now i am going to get Katie and we are going to have a spend-the-nightie! Yipper Skipper! 

Yay, 

Stephie 

I Prefere Talking in the Dark

Last night I talked to God.

Last night I finished my routine of getting ready for bed. You know, jewlry off, pjs on, teeth brushed, music on, bedside truck light on, overhead light off, bed= comfy...the drill. But last night when i set my alarm and turned off the light bedside me I just started talking to God. I mean it wasn't like God was physically sitting next to me and we are chatting but i just laid there in my bed and, out loud, i talked...i prayed. I prayed for all of the people that popped into my head, Jess & John in Texas, Sambird & her summer college stuff, Cat & Whit in Atlanta, Katie...for her life, the youth group girls...for their motivation. I just needed to talk to God. To tell Him that i needed help to be patient, i have had some trouble with that lately. I need direction. And in His time all of my prayers will be answered.

Oo man, its amazing how many new prayer requests can come up in a day...
-Bryant and his famiy in New York
-My decision between a wedding or a camp
-My friend's heart to be focused on God and nothing more
-More patience.
-Monday to come sooner.
-Jess & John to get 7 songs done within these 2 more days!
-My friend coming to Christ
- Nancy & Will...i dont know why I just want to pray for them and their life they share together.

I'll add those tonight...yay now i look forward to going to bed! Woo Hoo.

hehe.
Stephie

The Conversations of a Teenage Lunch Table

At lunch today, the four girls that i sit with and myself got into a conversation about God and how evolution cannot be fact.

It was a very interesting conversation that i wish could have gone on for hours. The one girl that isn't a Christian even agreed with everything we said and contributed a lot to the conversation.

But one thing got to me...

My friend and I left lunch and walked up to our class and were talking about Jesus' second coming. I felt as if she was kinda hesitant the entire conversation. She tried to backtrack on whatever i said. Like for instance..."I don't want to say that all religions are wrong." WHAT? How can you believe that God is supreme and not say that all other religions are wrong?? I really wanted to get into that but then she changed the subject....bah. Then I said to her as the conversation was kinda ending that I would be so glad if Jesus came back at that moment and she just smiled. Then she replied " But I wanna have kids and a husband; i want a life first...you know?" and i would have responded but again we got interrupted but this time by our teacher.

Her faith is almost superficial...she wants her own life and then Christ to come after that. Which makes me really sad because I love her.

God consume her.

praying for my friend,
Stephie

Caution: Backing Up

Okay can we take a step backward?

I need to prioritize my life because right now it is not completely about Christ and His name. Its been all about me and what Im going to do to find His will for me...um no. I should be actively waiting for Him to reveal to me what He wants for my life. I was trying to control the situation, big surprise.

So im gunna step back and let Him be God and rule.

and regret a message I sent. urga.
Stephie

A Day that Could Easily be Forgotten.

So today wasnt the best of days.

School was wretched. I mean I almost got written up...which for those who dont know means I get detention. Can anyone see Stephanie Drummond at detention? and on a different occasion today I got in an argument with my teacher about Christianity. It was just a bad day.

Then got home and Indie greeted me, that was a plus.

Then I went to Starbies with the girls from church and that was a blast! I deeply adore them.

While there I got a call from my sister, who went to the Hillsong America Conference! She was at the conference and held out the phone so I could hear Brooke Fraser sing Desert Song. And then the song that directly followed it was a song called Oh You Bring which is my favorite new song from their new album! I so wanted to be there! I mean seriously why did it have to be on a weeknight on the second to last week of school? When i was listening to them play it almost made me want to cry because here i was having a pretty bad day in general and then my sister and friends are in a place getting soaking wet and praising God with Hillsong.

Christ I need you to come and flatten me. Please. I am just blindly walking and I need you to come and renovate my thoughts and my heart. Focus me on You.

Sleep is sounding fabulous right now,
Stephie

A Present to All Moms in Wakefield

Okay so i just got back from going to the brand new Harris Teeter in Wakefield...i mean it opened today!

It was a party in there! haha.

You walk in and there is music playing and there are samples of EVERYTHING!

It was craziness! Moms were everywhere! And they all looked like they were on a mission, but a happy mission! It was quite funny!

But my favorite part of this equation...REDBOX two seconds from my house! Yes! This could be really good or really bad haha! yay.

Already my day is looking up; maybe a nap next.
Stephie

Hoping for a better night.

Bah!

Today was not good! It was lame! It was bah!! It was soo long and so annoying!

I only have 7 days until my first exam! Why do teachers insist on cramming information in before that! Urgaaa.

My first period complaints: Notes, notes and more notes.... we have a test friday!
My Second period complaints: There are only 6 students in the class since more than half were seniors and seniors are gone now...we are stuck completing our fantasy story! Draft due tomorrow.
My Third period complaints: Oh just the usual...not enough work. I finished everything in the first 30 mins.
My Fourth period complaints: Oooo i just had the worst fourth period! We had a class discussion of a completely boring book for the ENTIRE class...1 hour and 45 mins! During this time my teacher continued to compare Christians to Nazis! Seriously?

All i have to say is that i am so thankful that the cell group girls are meeting tonight. If we werent this would have seriously been a depressing day!

Heres to Indie for brightening my day!
Stephie

Summer, Im so glad you are coming home!

Hello blogger people.

So I just completed 1 out of my 7 full days of school left. That means I have 6 more to go. Then I have to complete 4 exams, which in terms of days that is 4 half days.

Exam days make me feel like im in college for those three hours. You go into your classroom you sit down, your teacher gives you your exam, you take the exam, teacher declares the testing period is over and then walk out the doors of the school and you are done with that class forever. Especially 4th period exam because after that you walk out those doors and you are through for the entire summer! My smile is endless when i walk out those doors.

My Summer Happy List:

• Having money from selling my rings at Stitch and Holly Aiken Bags! Yay
• Camp with Daryl, HG and many many more!
  
• Going to hang out in Catherine's classroom!
• Jessica Lyndon Ray's CD Release!! ahhh i truly cant wait!
• NRC Youth's Summer Wednesdays
• The Apt...ALL the time! First summer at the apt! I'm lovin' this idea
• The Beach! Hopefully with Jessie again! That was just a blast!
• Lifted events and planning
• HOT Weather!
• Hopefully going to visit Sambird!
• Sleeping in! ahh i miss that!
• Summer Reading List...that will come soon! [preview: Reading the entire Bible! im so excited]
• First summer with Indie pup!
• Hanging with Abbey!
  
• DRIVERS LICENSE!!! yipper skipper! Do you know how much i will love that?!
• Reading books/Writing on the lawn at the seminary.
  
• Reading/Writing at the coffee house in Wake Forest
  
• Maybe more Coffee Days with Jess ;)
• Barnes and Noble nights with Whitta!
  
• Heather's Wedding!
  
• Shopping for a dress for Heather's Wedding!
  
• New music...Hillsong, Eisley, etc...
  
• AP Summer Homework...not the funnest thing in the world but hey.
  
• Summer Thunderstorms at night
  
• Hopefully Spend-the-Nighties at my house...doubt it but a girl can hope.
  
• Going/helping out at Jess's gigs! I am so excited about this one!!!!
  
• Star Gazing Nights
  
• The Renewal of The Clue Nights
  
• Zaxby's club Meetings hehe
• More Battleship touraments...one of these days I will win and not have to listen to Jess say "its alright, maybe next time. But I might be too good for you." haha

And im sure there will be more but for now...im pretty content with that.
Stephie

World War III

WOOO HOOO

And who thought WWIII would be bad???

Okay so background...

• Family Reunion= Aunts came into town =] and they brought gifts hehe
• Water Balloons!
• Night
• Face Paint
• Sibling Rivalry.

It was awesome! We had soo much fun! and now we have extras sooo....water balloon fight anyone??? Youth group wide maybe?? Friend's Summer Kick-Off?? What do yall think?

Woo hoo...im just pumped!
Stephie

Hmm...I approve of Friday May 22th, 2009

I find that i crave three things after i go on a run. 

• Ice water...mmm. 
• A BIG salad! 
• A shower! yay. 

So i just went on a run...second this week. I think im gunna make it a regular occurrence this Summer. I like that idea. 

Today has been a good day! Monopoly in first period, laughed so hard at lunch my abs hurt for a while after that, I sat next to Abbey in English and had fun with the Substitute that believed in Aliens, i just went on a run, HG is coming over tonight, and its a beautiful day and not to mention a Friday. yay! 

To Do List:

• Shower...mmm
• Clean Shower.
• Put up clean laundry
• Write Post Card to Sambird and get it ready to be mailed...with a CD =]
• Vacuum that spot on my carpet that I accidentally got grassy. 
• Do some homework [ I have a lot and not a lot of time this weekend ] 
• Re-Color coordinate my closet...there is a bright green shirt in the middle of the black section. 
• Check out the Movies on Demand to see what HG and I can watch tonight.

Seems productive enough for today.

lalalalalala,

Stephie

The First Time I Wrote a First Time Post.

I feel like I need a happy post! 

Tonight I have the entire upstairs to myself. I have a Macbook on my lap and I am listening to a channel on my TV that is called Adult Alternative and basically all its playing is music! I love it! The last two songs have been by M. Ward and Counting Crows [ the old stuff ]. 

Ooo on the Pop Hits channel...Life in Technicolor II by Coldplay is playing! I am loving these music channels.

Wow!! I just changed it to the Kidz Only channel haha. Candy  by Mandy Moore is playing! haha. and now it just changed to S Club 7! haha I totally had their album! 

Oh but this channel wins the award!! Toddler Tunes...the song is called Imagination and there is this lady talking in the middle of the song...we are just gunna leave it at that! 

And Christian Contemporary, i wish you were better! Hey JRay can you fix that?  

Sweet! 90s Hits are making me happy, No Doubt is playing there old stuff! 

Well anyway i hope you liked my journey through the world of Cable Music. I have 18 days left until I am finally on Summer Break, 8 school days until finals, 4 day week next week, 3 full days after that. I have aunts coming this weekend. I have an unbelievably boring weekend next weekend [the apt is gone]. I am hosting a Sr. High M.A.S.H. next Sunday. Im going to work at Holly Aiken making rings for her! I have camp in less than a month! I have Heather's wedding in a little less than 2 months. 

WHOA PAUSE! 90's channel is now playing R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" yay!! SPACE JAM! That was The Movie! I want to watch it right now!

Okay back to what i was saying before that lovely interruption. Okay hold on again, so i just changed the channel to Kidz Only [ cause you know Im a kid right] and Miley Cyrus is playing and usually I would change it immediately but honestly I kinda like this song. Its her new one called The Climb and it is from her new movie. I mean it doesnt sound that much like her and thats why I like it. 

Okay now back to me actually blogging. I am so close to being done with my Sophomore year of high school. It was actually an incredibly fast year. The memories collected are endless. So many firsts. The first time spending the night at the apt, the first time sleeping everyday in a class, the first time stage managing a show on my own and not getting the right credit for it, the first time WiSH cooked for the apt, the first time Jess picked me up from school, the first time i got to see the inauguration of the first black president because it was a snow day, the first time i turned 16, the first time i have been to a film festival, the first time I got baptized!, the first time I had ever called Jess on my own free will [im not a phone person], the first time I photographed a band, the first time i dyed someone's hair red,  the first time I used a good camera [jess's], the first time I saw Michael Alvarado play, the first time i had the girls sing Happy Birthday to me, the first time I had a Jane Austen marathon, the first time I went to a New Years Eve party at the apt, the first time I had ever eaten a Coca-Cola Hot Dog [thank you Daniel Faucette], the first time Sambird and I hung out alone after school one day, the first time i had a snow day with the girls, the first time have gotten asked out by two different guys on facebook and said no to both [creepers from school], the first time i have done photography for a basketball game, the first time I had taken a road trip for a day at the beach with the girls, the first time I helped out at a Project Concert, the first time i have heard Jess and the band play at Jack Sprat, the first time i have gotten into a 18 or older bar for a show, the first time i heard of Remember Nhu, the first time i made bracelets that said NHU on them, the first time I worked with a organization called Remember Nhu, the first time I went on stage during an event to set up a mic and carry off a guitar, the first time i helped with a Lifted event, the first time i worked on a musical, the first time i worked with a professional broadway lighting designer, the first time i did tech for youth group. 

Yes...I'd say a pretty great year. Dont you think so? 

Stephie 

Mr. Change, You come too fast.

I dont like change.

I find that change scares me. If i were to tell you my number one fear it would be change or something related to change. Like for instance I am terrified the ones i love leaving or myself leaving the ones i love.

I miss things a lot.
I am a very sentimental person and I dont really like saying that cause it makes me feel weak. But I am. I love keeping little things from the past so I can look back and remember. One reason I started this was because I wanted to remember everything and i knew i would write everything down here. I just read my first few blog posts today and wow i miss those days. When my room was ours. When I awoke to many girls in my room and I remember just sitting there and smileing and just thanking God for giving them to me. When nights were endless because we used to stay awake just trying to get to know each other even better. I miss those days.

To be completely honest...I'm afraid that Jess is going to leave and miss me graduating and miss the rest of my life. I'm afriad that Cat's gunna to leave and work with Lifted and Remember Nhu and I'll see her periodically. I'm afraid that Whit's not going to stay in Raleigh for her entire life. I'm afraid that I'm gunna leave Whitney. I'm afraid that I'm going to leave this country. I am afraid.

and i know i shouldn't be, because God will take care of it all...but I am a human and so sometimes I just forget and thats when I get scared and fear takes over.

and this is a conversation that Whit and I just had...I love her.

Stephanie

do you know what my ultimate fear is?

10:54pmWhitney

what?

10:55pmStephanie

I am terrified the ones i love leaving or myself leaving the ones i love.

Which i know both are going to happen

10:55pmWhitney

well, i will never leave you

10:55pmStephanie

and thats why it freaks me out

10:56pmWhitney

even if you move away to go to college...im moving too.

10:56pmStephanie

right

and if i leave the country?

10:56pmWhitney

i will leave the country with you

Now i have a headache,
Stephie

Sleepy Summer Wishes.

I'm a sleephen pupphen!

Today I have already taken a bath to try to relieve my back of its really annoying pain and a nap and I am still exhausted! All of that running, swimming, laughing, sunbathing, late nights, happiness, car rides, sitting, standing...and all that jazz has caught up with me =]. I actually think I am going to go to sleep at 9pm tonight, which if you know me then you know that this is an unheard of Stephie Statement. My usual nights push 12am and thats on a school night...haha.

Oh man I want summer... as I sat here I realized how much I want it! I only have 11 full school days until exams and finals. Thats all! Of course teachers love to cram anything and everything they can into those last few days so its going to be agony but I keep counting down. My exams will all be pretty simple...

Civics and Economics: I have heard it is really easy and our teacher is really great and I think she will prepare us well.
Creative Writing: I dont even know if we will have one...i mean we didnt have a midterm.
French: My teacher has been absent for 50% of our class so...i really dont know how this one is gunna go.
English: We are taking basically an AP exam...that consists of a huge essay talking about one of the books we read this semester and we write it during the 3 hours we are in the classroom...bahh i hate exams.

Well we shall see.

But right now I want to be over at the apt hanging out with the girls...because seriously that is what I will be doing ALL summer.

I miss Whit and Jessie!

Alright sleep now!
Stephie

From Starry Nights to Fluorescent Libraries.

I wish our library looked like that one! Oh man I wish I had that library in my house!

Again I seem to find myself in the library. And i am doing some work today just because one of my old teachers is behind me. But now I am done with my work so... I dont know what to do, actually I need to read for a couple chapters in a book before 4th period. I'm gunna go get on that.

But I dont really want to so I'll wait on that.

I had a great time this weekend. I really did, it was a fantastic retreat. I needed it.

DEVOTION.

That was the "topic" of the weekend. I dont really like to call it a topic but that was what we focused on for the weekend.

Am I focused on Christ? and if not...What steps can I take to be focused?







The last night of the weekend, after the last meeting together, I went out to the beach alone and just layed down and looked at the stars and listened to the waves. I had to get away. There I just spoke to God. I asked Him questions and I cried out to him. Out loud I cried to Him. But there it was just me and Him.

I needed Him. I need Him.

Well I'm gunna go and read,

Stephie

Brief Description of a Big Weekend.

I just got home from the beach. Im not really in the mood to blog tonight but i thought i would give a little update.

So we:
Drove.
Ate.
Arrived.
Met together.
Laughed.
Slept.
Woke.
Ate.
Met together.
Alone Time.
Met together.
Beach time.
Swam.
Ultimate Frisbi.
Flag Football.
Dinner Out.
Met together.
Ice Cream.
Capture the Flag at night.
Slept.
Woke.
Ate.
Cleaned.
Left.
Bert's Surf Shop.
On the Road Again.
Andy's.
Gas Station.
Rain.
Home.

and now i know i need sleep because i just got angry at my sister...we never fight, i hated it. =[

Happy Stephie!

Im off to the beach with "The World's Best Youth Group"...North Ridge Youth Group! 

Have a great weekend Blog People. 

Stephie

Who said Libraries were boring?

Yay for Library. Do you want to know what i have gotten done in the last 2 hours?

• Watched the latest episode of CSI New York!
• Blogged.
• Tweeted.
• Listened/watched a video Durch Den Monsun...yes we are that cool.
• Counted the days I have left of school.
• Played a game.
• and just had some more fun.

I think i got a lot accomplished! Dont you?

Stephie

What's God's Plan for "The Best Youth Group Ever?"

Okay so this is a conversation Catherine and I had about our youth group. And the message needs to be shared.

Stephanie

Oh man...i love our youth group!

Catherine

its pretty much the best one ever

and thats not an exaggeration

Stephanie

I agree

I was talking to Kinsey the other day and she was like seriously thanks for being you guys...real christians

and it was so encouraging to hear it from someone outside of our youth group

Catherine

its so crazy to think that people go to youth groups where its not like that at all!

yeah exactly

Stephanie

Some other youth groups arent aimed for exalting and praising our Lord they are just trying to impress teenagers so they go to church instead of going and doing "bad things"

Catherine

thats exactly right

we used to do a lot more "stuff" but Dan and Sheps realized it wasn't the real deal

Stephanie

But you also have to think and ask...why did God choose our youth group to be a light?

We cant just sit around and be like "sweet we are different."

Catherine

totally

i think you're exactly right

Stephanie

I mean if we are so different then...what should we be doing with that light? Where should we be pointing it? And i think those are questions we should all be asking ourselves.

Catherine

yes! it's gotta go somewhere besides back on us

Guys! It has so to go somewhere besides back on us!!!

Stephie

Music: Now or Then?

Sometimes I wish music wasn't as advanced. I mean yes, some of the newer advances in the music industry has been great and has improved musical quality. But, think about it. We buy everything off of iTunes, Rhapsody, Pandora, and all the rest of those music catalogs.

How many CD's do you own anymore? Vinyl Records? Cassette Tapes? I will admit the only Cassette tape i own is "The Adventures in Odyssey." One that I got by buying a kid's meal at Chick-Fil-A when I was little. Actually I have two cassette tapes...the second is is Psalty's Heart to Change the World. Neither necessarily music but still classics.

Personally I dont have an iPod. Do I want one...yes and no.

Pros:

• Convenient
• I adore music and to have it at my fingertips at all times would be my ultimate joy.
  
• Its an iPod.

Cons:

• I would be conforming to social pressures.
  
• I would no longer depend on CD's which saddens me because i love CD's. [ I will have to continue this argument in another paragraph]
  
• My money would be going to iTunes and not directly to the Artist anymore.
  

So now what...do i get one or not? I just can't decide.

My love for CD's arent just because they are cool or something like that. I feel like we are not supporting our musicians anymore. The people that worked so hard to get these CD's out and produced are getting ripped off my things such as iTunes or other illegal ways of getting music [I can think of five websites right now off the top of my head]. My friend is about to release her album in the next month. She is a new artist that hasnt been picked up by a record company or anything like that yet. But I think to myself, in a couple of years from now...thats going to be barely possible. CD's just dont sell anymore, iTunes does.

Even music itself is conforming. I mean turn on the radio...on the mainstream pop radio station, here it is G105, you will hear about 6 songs that arent really even that good. I mean they have a catchy tune to them and they get stuck in your head...and now-a-days that means its a "great song." Wow, when did the music industry come to have such low standards? A cute face will get you a contract with a record company. Take the Jonas Brothers for instance...if they were ugly would they sell? Talent doesnt matter anymore. Yes of course there are exceptions, there are alway exceptions, but seriously the quality of the music industry has hit one of the lowest points in history and people are too blinded by society to realize.

If you want to find some solid music you have to dig and scrap to find the bright and shining light that is talent. The indie society has some fantastic talents...find them! Listen to them! Fall in love with them!

Oh how i wish that we would go back to the first time that White British-Americans heard their African slaves sing tunes that they had never heard before. Or when the Beatles took over the hearts of every girl on the planet. Or when Motown hit the charts with a bang. Or when Jazz was introduced into the American public and took over Harlem's streets.

Can we go back?
Stephie

An "Aha" Moment for an Idiot

Why cant everyday be just Jess and I sitting at a coffee shop in the Spring sun just spending lovely time with each other? Why cant everyday be me sitting in a room with 5 of the best girls in the world? Why cant everyday be me taking 500 pictures of *Jessica Lyndon Ray* at the beach? Why cant everyday be setting up for a big event? Why can't everyday be Whitta and I sitting on my front lawn staring at the stars?

I don't know what Im doing with my life. I want to be done with high school. I want to be able to help out with Lifted stuff 24/7. I want to help out with Jess's band 24/7.

I just feel like I cant move. Im not moving in any forward motion and im just standing still. I dont know what Im gunna be doing with my life after high school. Yes it is so logical for me to go to college...but for what? and what do i do afterward? There is only one thing that is constant and will continue to be constant and that is Jesus Christ. Time is fading, friendships last a moment.

I cant depend on Jess because she is human and she isnt gunna be here for my entire life, right by my side guiding me through every moment of my being. She is gunna go off and get famous and ill see her every few months and then every several months and then every few years and then every several years and then i will see her every once and a while and then what...I cant be dependent on her.

I cant depend on Whitta because she is human. Because she will grow up and find herself a husband and have adorable kids that she will have to raise and nurture. We will talk and see each other every so often but I cant be dependent on her.

I cant depend on Catherine because she is human. Because she is gunna go and be something amazing...im serious. And we will talk every so often and we will catch up and she will have some amazing advise for me and I will just cherish that time we have together however far inbetween we go before doing it again. But i cant be dependent on her for everything.

He is the only one i can depend on.

How slowly I learned that and am still learning that! Wow! There was a time where i think i worshiped Jess. Im not joking. I mean I wasnt like falling on the ground and praising her or anything like that but I just thought she was the coolest thing in the world and she was so amazing and she could solve any of my problems. I just looked up to her so much that it just developed into me just adoring the ground she walked on. And i still think she is the coolest thing and she IS so amazing and I love her to death but I also realized how much of an idiot i was! I mean yeah she is fantastic and i love her as my mentor/friend/sister but she isnt perfect and she makes mistakes because she is human. And I realized that wow what am I doing? God is the only one I can truly be completely dependent on! Wow I am such a human sometimes!

Christ you are better.
I can depend on Christ...thats a lovely feeling.

It just took a lot to actually say all of that!
Stephie

Quote from the Beautiful Hearted

"I have all these things but I don’t have it all together. I live solely on the grace of God"
- Samantha Whitfield Crowder.

Sam said this at a benefit concert my church held a couple of weeks ago...well about a month ago. That is such an amazing quote to me because it explains exactly what i have been feeling in the last few months.

I love that girl.

Stephie

Coffee Days

Today. Today was a great day for almost everyone I talked to! I am looking at facebook status and all of them are saying something positive about this day..."from beginning to end, today was perfect." "Hadd a pretty awesome day!" "Happiest and most smiliest person ever!"...I agree with all of them.

Today I went to school, like every other Thursday from September - June. I watched Star Wars: New Hope in Creative Writing II. Read my book in French II while getting an A+ on a quiz. Laughed so hard I cried today at lunch. Watched a WWII video in English with Abbey sitting right next to me...we are so awesome haha.

I came out of those big high school doors, laughing at something Abbey said, and walked towards a car with a smiling Jessie inside the doors and metal. We had the windows open to the glorious weather God blessed upon our day. We drove, just a small distance, to the local Starbies. Got our drinks...both the same thing every time Grande White Mocha [iced in Summer and Spring & hot in Fall and Winter]. We chose a good spot that was perfectly situated with just enough sun. We sat and drank and talked. We talked about school and summer and Cd stuff [yay] and life and future plans and God and pirates and Emily Blunt...just Jessie and I kinda stuff. We sat there for about 2 hours and we just had one of our Coffee Days. I so dearly love them. Jess and I have a relationship unlike any other relationship I have ever had. She is my mentor and one of my closest friends, close enough to call a sister. And there are times when our lives pull us away from each other...busy days,weeks, months. But then when we get together again its like we come back to being just us and its awesome.

On our way to the house I gave Jess a mixed Cd...A Happy Summer Cd.
We just sat and talked about music and singing for another couple of minutes before she had to go.

I love her.

After the Coffee Date with Jessie I came back and went directly to the computer and wrote an Economic Essay for Civics and Economics class. And then I wrote part of a Research Paper for the Grad Project...English. And now I am writing a fictional diary entry of a Jewish prisoner in WWII in Aushwitz. I have been very productive today! I love it! Maybe I need to hang out with Jess everyday...haha righttt that will happen! haha.

Well over all fantastic day...tomorrow's friday and Michael Alvarado show yay,
Stephie

Present Day Joy

I am lying on my bed listening to only the rain come down upon my windows. Just a couple of hours ago i was jumping into a very cold pool along with some incredible friends or should I say common law sisters. Those girls mean so much to me its crazy. I am extremely blessed with having these girls in my life.


Having Whit as my true best friend.
Having Jess as my mentor.
Having Cat as my older sister I look up to and look to for guidance.
Having Hannah Grace as a friend that I can laugh with and have some of the most special times together.

and the ones not pictured:

Having Sam as a fellow dreamer and pen pal.
Having Nancy as my far away caretaker, she is always wanting to know how i am and how things are going in my life.
Having Katie as my Toon: The one i tell everything to.
Having Daryl as my laughter and my joy all bundled up into one lovely person.

I dearly love them all.

This week I may get to spend time with one of these girls...just me and her. I love spending time with her. I can't wait to tell her everything that has been going on in the last 3 months of my life because that is how long it has been since we have had one of our date days. I have missed them dearly. I do hope it works out this time. The last few time we have tried to schedule them; they fail and we have to revert to saying "we will have to reschedule for sometime soon" yeah sometime soon means another month.

But now sleep beckons and i shall answer its lovely calls,
Stephie

A Blast from Middle School Past

My Girls

Three years ago those 10 girls and I were inseparable! We did everything together. We had some of the most fun, crazy, fantastic times together in middle school. Many times i held them in my arms when they cried for this or that, many times we laughed so hard that my abs hurt for days after, my times we got in trouble for talking and giggling in class. We had a blast...

and then I left.

That next year, their lives went on for the last year of middle school...their 8th grade year at Queens Grant Middle School. I talked to them a lot for the first few months, then every now and then and now i talk to them rarely at all. It saddens me. But they all left Queens Grant...some to the QG High School, some to Butler, some to Porter Ridge. We all kind of got lost in our new lives to remember what we used to be.

But then Casey [ she was always the mother of our group] decided to throw at QG Girls Reunion Party. That party was last night. We had a blast again. We reminisced of old times, thought of old pranks and gags we played on different people. We remembered all of our old and forgotten fights and arguments. We remembered all of our fellow class members that we had disregarded from our memory. We sat around a table and just talked, it was fantastic.

We were friends again,
and i missed that.

oh the memories,
Stephie